Friday Night Vodka Buzz. Ask me anything.

Okay day in clinic. Now it’s time to chill.

I love you all…

When I was studying to be a Physician Assistant, I never dreamed I would have to spend so much time

explaining the principle of cause-and-effect.

I can't count how many patients I have had complaining of coughing and shortness of breath. I ask them if they smoke, and when they say 'yes', I ask them how they could possibly be surprised at the resulting symptoms, or so confused about how to make them go away.

I tell you, the Big 7 have to be the greatest salespeople in history: "Hey! We would like you to pay us to poison you to death. But before you die, you, your breath, your car, your home, and your clothes will smell bad, your lips and fingers will turn yellow, and most people won't want to be around you. How does that sound?"

"I don't need no vaccine. I trust my immune system."

These are almost always the same people who come dashing to the clinic begging for antibiotics when all they have is just a mild viral sinus infection.

Kind of like the patients who tell me: "I have a high pain-tolerance" right before asking me for Percocet.

"Borderline" - by Chris de Burgh:

"Borderline" - by Chris de Burgh:

"Borderline" - by Chris de Burgh:

There are two kinds of Fridays in clinical medicine.

1. Slammed. Everyone wants their little aches and pains looked at before the weekend.
2. Slow. Everyone is getting an early start to the weekend.

My schedule was jam-packed when I got to work today, and started off busy. Had a few no shows since then, so it's anybody's guess what kind of day it will end up being.

I'm on call tonight, so no Friday Night drinking thread...

I love you all...

Friday Night Vodka Buzz. Ask me anything.

I love you all…

I'm on-call all next week. I set my ring tone to the theme from 'The Mandalorian'.

So when I get a call at 3am, at least I can enjoy the music.

I have a patient on my schedule today coming in for cognitive testing.

The scheduler wrote down "cognotive testing."

I'm not sure what to say to the scheduler...