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August 20, 2013
Ted ("HUAC was a good beginning"
Cruz is saying: "There's a big difference between being born in Canada and being born in Kenya. . . . Canada borders the U.S. and shares our values as well as our language. . . . Being born there is like being born in Joplin, Missouri. . . . But Kenya is way across an ocean and their citizens look different and speak differently than we do, and their values have not evolved to meet ours, . . . not even close! . . . . You might as well be born on Mars as in Kenya!! . . . So it's important, Chris, to see what the framers of our Constitution had in mind."
Drunk on rat p*ss. Please come CAPTION Ted Cruz!!!
Ted ("HUAC was a good beginning"
Cruz is saying: "There's a big difference between being born in Canada and being born in Kenya. . . . Canada borders the U.S. and shares our values as well as our language. . . . Being born there is like being born in Joplin, Missouri. . . . But Kenya is way across an ocean and their citizens look different and speak differently than we do, and their values have not evolved to meet ours, . . . not even close! . . . . You might as well be born on Mars as in Kenya!! . . . So it's important, Chris, to see what the framers of our Constitution had in mind."
August 19, 2013
Sean ("In my dream, my head was a tombstone. Could it mean something? I can't figure it out." Hannity is saying: "I got news for you, folks. Cumulus is not dropping me. On the contrary, I'm dumping them like a last week's garbage!!! . . .They just couldn't properly showcase my talent. . . . On another front, Fox isn't taking my time slot away, I'm giving it to Megyn Kelly, because she needs a chance at prime time and couldn't possibly get there on her own. . . . Likewise, my audience is not deserting me, I'm purposefully offending the moderates and pansies out there in order not to be bothered. . . . Like I've said over and over, I'm still running the board!!!"
"Please, God, more mirrors!" Please come CAPTION Sean Hannity!!!
Sean ("In my dream, my head was a tombstone. Could it mean something? I can't figure it out."
Hannity is saying: "I got news for you, folks. Cumulus is not dropping me. On the contrary, I'm dumping them like a last week's garbage!!! . . .They just couldn't properly showcase my talent. . . . On another front, Fox isn't taking my time slot away, I'm giving it to Megyn Kelly, because she needs a chance at prime time and couldn't possibly get there on her own. . . . Likewise, my audience is not deserting me, I'm purposefully offending the moderates and pansies out there in order not to be bothered. . . . Like I've said over and over, I'm still running the board!!!"
August 17, 2013
George ("I dream of a maggot eating whatever's left of my brain" W. Bush is saying: "I'm not the one saying I should be on Rushmore. It's other people. . . . But Matt, you know what I realized last night? . . . George Washington, who by the way shares two of my initials, was the first veteran president and I was the last. . . . How 'bout that? . . . It's like another reason. . . . But again, it's not me who's saying . . ."
A black hole with a sink hole? . . . Please come CAPTION Numbnuts!!!
George ("I dream of a maggot eating whatever's left of my brain"
W. Bush is saying: "I'm not the one saying I should be on Rushmore. It's other people. . . . But Matt, you know what I realized last night? . . . George Washington, who by the way shares two of my initials, was the first veteran president and I was the last. . . . How 'bout that? . . . It's like another reason. . . . But again, it's not me who's saying . . ."
August 16, 2013
Sean (the man with a merde-tinted nimbus) Hannity I saying: "You know what it is? . . . You know what's at the bottom of all this? . . . Cumulus is dumping me and Fox is given my time-slot to Megyn Kelly because of one thing and one thing only! . . . They're afraid of my ever-surging popularity! . . . I have word that they've even been rigging the audience polls against me. . . .They know I'm bigger than all their other hosts put together, and they're afraid I'll take over."
The utter absence of human space. Please come CAPTION Sean Hannity!!!
Sean (the man with a merde-tinted nimbus) Hannity I saying: "You know what it is? . . . You know what's at the bottom of all this? . . . Cumulus is dumping me and Fox is given my time-slot to Megyn Kelly because of one thing and one thing only! . . . They're afraid of my ever-surging popularity! . . . I have word that they've even been rigging the audience polls against me. . . .They know I'm bigger than all their other hosts put together, and they're afraid I'll take over."
August 15, 2013
Bill (“I hate Greek mythology. Proteus scares the stink out of me!”) O’Reilly is saying: “Sacramento's new gender-freedom law means people can call themselves anything they want and change all over the place any and every time they want! . . . Look at me, Bob. . . . I, for one, haven't changed a bit in over 40 years! . . . Would you believe it?"
for another version see the Lounge Captioning thread:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018457027
"I dreamed we're all one big viscid paste with arms & legs & genitals." Come CAPTION Bill-O!!!!
Bill (“I hate Greek mythology. Proteus scares the stink out of me!”) O’Reilly is saying: “Sacramento's new gender-freedom law means people can call themselves anything they want and change all over the place any and every time they want! . . . Look at me, Bob. . . . I, for one, haven't changed a bit in over 40 years! . . . Would you believe it?"
for another version see the Lounge Captioning thread:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018457027
August 15, 2013
Bill (“My scariest dream is where my body starts leaking, and I wake up screaming.”) O’Reilly is saying: “I don’t understand why people don’t realize what Sacramento’s new gender-free law means. . . . You of all people, Bob, should know that letting people declare their own gender is a horrific idea! . . . What if little Suzy at noon decides she’s a girl and uses the Ladies’s Room at McDonald’s but at six she insists on using the Men’s at Sear's? . . . Within weeks you’re going to have little boys ‘practicing’ with little girls and little girls ‘practicing’ with puppies and puppies going to bed with Suzy’s dad. . . . People will start to forget who they are, and everything will be like thick, stinking psychological-sexual-soup with various appendages and sexual parts floating around! . . . Mark my word! . . . But what I can’t figure out is why nobody sees that!!! . . . And you say? . . . ”
"My dream? We're in a giant blender and someone pushes puree." Please come CAPTION Bill O'Reilly!!!!
Bill (“My scariest dream is where my body starts leaking, and I wake up screaming.”) O’Reilly is saying: “I don’t understand why people don’t realize what Sacramento’s new gender-free law means. . . . You of all people, Bob, should know that letting people declare their own gender is a horrific idea! . . . What if little Suzy at noon decides she’s a girl and uses the Ladies’s Room at McDonald’s but at six she insists on using the Men’s at Sear's? . . . Within weeks you’re going to have little boys ‘practicing’ with little girls and little girls ‘practicing’ with puppies and puppies going to bed with Suzy’s dad. . . . People will start to forget who they are, and everything will be like thick, stinking psychological-sexual-soup with various appendages and sexual parts floating around! . . . Mark my word! . . . But what I can’t figure out is why nobody sees that!!! . . . And you say? . . . ”
August 13, 2013
Bill (Wanker Extraordinaire) O'Reilly is saying: "North Carolina's new voter law is misguided in two ways. First they've opened themselves up to charges of racism and voter suppression. Secondly it should be drafted in a manner that gives greater weight to the votes by those who have made our country great and at the same time tighten restrictions to eliminate voter fraud. . . . After all, why should someone who just wants a free lunch have a vote that counts as much as someone who is building this country and paying his taxes? . . . It doesn't make sense. . . . If they follow my advice, they can pitch it as a Voter Enhancement Law, and nobody could possibly claim racism was involved in that! . . . Now its time for our fair-and-balanced debate: Why does Obama hate America so much?"
"Cut twice and then measure." Please come CAPTION Bill O'Reilly!!!
Bill (Wanker Extraordinaire) O'Reilly is saying: "North Carolina's new voter law is misguided in two ways. First they've opened themselves up to charges of racism and voter suppression. Secondly it should be drafted in a manner that gives greater weight to the votes by those who have made our country great and at the same time tighten restrictions to eliminate voter fraud. . . . After all, why should someone who just wants a free lunch have a vote that counts as much as someone who is building this country and paying his taxes? . . . It doesn't make sense. . . . If they follow my advice, they can pitch it as a Voter Enhancement Law, and nobody could possibly claim racism was involved in that! . . . Now its time for our fair-and-balanced debate: Why does Obama hate America so much?"
August 12, 2013
Sean (Fox's personal black hole) Hannity is saying: "No hard feelings, Megyn, you did what you had to. . . . How could I possibly blame you for #@@@##&^*-ing and **&^#$@^-ing your way into my time slot. Sure, I hope you rot in Hell, but other than that . . ."
Maggot derangement syndrome. . . . Please come CAPTION Sean Hannity!!
Sean (Fox's personal black hole) Hannity is saying: "No hard feelings, Megyn, you did what you had to. . . . How could I possibly blame you for #@@@##&^*-ing and **&^#$@^-ing your way into my time slot. Sure, I hope you rot in Hell, but other than that . . ."
August 11, 2013
Sarah (I can't bear her) Palin is saying: "Well, Bill, if you read the 20,000 pages carefully you'll find reference to 'death panels' all over the document! . . . You see, they use code to confuse people. . . . Sometimes they call them 'discontinuance margins,' and sometimes they call them 'negative factors' or 'overhead control' or 'lowering costs,' you just need to know how to decipher the text. . . . In fact, they have a code for 'holocaust contingencies' as well. . . . Some times they call them . . . (blah, blau, blah)."
The public flogging of sense! . . . Please come CAPTION Sarah Palin!!!
Sarah (I can't bear her) Palin is saying: "Well, Bill, if you read the 20,000 pages carefully you'll find reference to 'death panels' all over the document! . . . You see, they use code to confuse people. . . . Sometimes they call them 'discontinuance margins,' and sometimes they call them 'negative factors' or 'overhead control' or 'lowering costs,' you just need to know how to decipher the text. . . . In fact, they have a code for 'holocaust contingencies' as well. . . . Some times they call them . . . (blah, blau, blah)."
August 10, 2013
Sean ("Still waiting for dawn" Hannity is saying, "Megyn, Megyn, hold on a moment! . . . I'm not blaming you for being a girl, I know you can't help it. . . . Just like I don't blame a shrew for being a shrew, or a collie bitch in heat for being a . . ."
"Being a nut's not all it's cracked up to be." Please come CAPTION Sean Hannity!!!
Sean ("Still waiting for dawn"
Hannity is saying, "Megyn, Megyn, hold on a moment! . . . I'm not blaming you for being a girl, I know you can't help it. . . . Just like I don't blame a shrew for being a shrew, or a collie bitch in heat for being a . . ."
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