Mr. Scorpio
Mr. Scorpio's JournalHappy Wednesday Dance Day!
Stairway to Heaven
A NATURAL WOMAN
Bennie And The Jets
...About "Project Scorpio"
As you all know, Project Scorpio DOES NOT EXIST. Thus, any and all information related to Project Scorpio is classified as Triple-Super-Secret, the highest security classification that also does not exist.
This communique that you are not reading right now does not exist to reiterate the non-existent project's secrecy and your utmost responsibility to maintain its non-existence.
As is your solemn duty, under the terms of Project Scorpio:
- As far as you know, there are no known personnel conducting any operations under Project Scorpio.
- Any and all operations conducted under Project Scorpio authorization do not officially exist. Again: Project Scorpio DOES NOT EXIST.
- Whenever queried, you are hereby obligated to state that you cannot confirm or deny the existence of Project Scorpio or any Project Scorpio operation.
- You are prohibited from discussing Project Scorpio with any and all individuals outside of established protocols.
- If you hear any gossip, whispers or rumors about Project Scorpio, you in fact, did not hear them.
- Do not communicate, reiterate or otherwise divulge any non-existent codes, cyphers, nomenclature or apocrypha without prior written authorization.
- Any and all equipment assigned to a Project Scorpio operation must be immediately redacted for appropriate disposal after it was never used.
- You will not be held liable for any non-existent outcome related to any Project Scorpio operation.
- All vouchers for per diem secretly coded under Project Scorpio will not be redeemed.
- Improper conduct related to any Project Scorpio operation will not be tolerated. (See Unwritten Rules of Conduct guide for appropriate definitions)
- Please place seat backs and tray tables in their full upright position.
- Finally, should you or any of your team are killed or captured while engaged in a non-existent Project Scorpio operation, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.
Good Luck.
This was never a Project Scorpio communique.
It's 4:17pm in Hamtramck, MI... Time for another installment of ASK MR. SCORPIO!!!
Since I treated you all badly yesterday (and loved it, because I'm the absolute master of April Fool's Day!!!), I thought that I'd make it up to you and do another ASK Mr. SCORPIO... Because it's so much freaking fun.
C'mon, you know you love it.
If you're not familiar with ASK Mr. SCORPIO, please understand that this isn't a trivia contest. If you want that, please watch Jeopardy instead.
If you do decide to go the quiz show route, I guarantee that you’ll be disappointed. I’m not a walking encyclopedia. This is more like an advice column. So please, no guessing games, because this isn’t a challenge to my knowledge about anything.
I’ve been up all night and out for a good part of the day, so I’m about to hit the sack. So please post your questions and I will get to each and every one of them once I wake up and sign back on.
Just to let you know, garbage in, garbage out. Again, my responses will be tailored to your individual questions, all in the spirt of fun. Since this is all in good fun, that’s just the spirit I’m trying to relay.
So, hit me up with whatever you got and I’ll get back to you on the other side.
Let’s have some fun. See you later tonight.
Hello, Democratic Underground. I'm Mister Scorpio's wife posting for my husband.
I've never written anything on this program before. My husband always said nice things about all of you. He let me know that you are all his friends.
Unfortunately, I have some bad news.
I'm very sorry to tell you all this, but he won't be able to to post his annual April fools joke this year. He asked me to tell you that and that he's taking a nap on the couch. One of his favorite things to do.
He said that he might give you something later when he wakes up. If he can stop being so lazy. I have to vacuum.
Sorry to disappoint you.
Have a nice day.
Bye.
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Member since: 2002Number of posts: 73,630
