Sent to me by a friend who got it from a person who knows the Kaine Family. I'm taking out the other name - and it is only a big thing in that it really is a BIG THING when you think back at how haltingly sexism has gotten better and since this happened a good while ago, it shows Tim Kaine was a feminist in action even then.

This person reports:

PHILADELPHIA (The Borowitz Report)—In an unorthodox departure from tradition, the Democratic National Convention will kick off its prime-time schedule on Monday night with what a D.N.C. spokesman called “three hours straight of booing.”

The booing, which is slated to begin at 8 P.M. and end promptly at eleven, will give those assembled at the D.N.C. an opportunity to “get it out of their system,” the spokesman said.

The decision to schedule three hours of booing came after rancorous negotiations between the Clinton and Sanders camps, with the Clinton side originally offering half an hour of booing and the Sanders side demanding twenty hours.

Reportedly, the Clinton camp also vetoed a demand by the Sanders camp that the definition of booing be expanded to include throwing things.

While the D.N.C. hailed the three-hour booing session as a compromise that was acceptable to both sides, many Sanders delegates reacted angrily to the agreement, arguing that the negotiations had been rigged against them.

“Once again, we’ve been screwed,” Carol Foyler, a Sanders delegate from New Hampshire, said. “Three hours is barely enough time to boo Debbie Wasserman Schultz.”



www.borowitzreport.com

A friend asked me to come photograph her playing in the water.
I can post these two without permission -- the others and "better" ones may be used by her to start a business.

Nut Brown is better than Orange, but honestly, not much more "real" looking. You delivered it well, and whoever wrote it, did a fine job for you. It certainly sounded like you might have written it yourself!!!!! Your speech was the best one tonight, and might have made up for your second step-mom's blunders yesterday.
NOT

Vice President Al Gore, Nicolle Wallace, Cornel West, Ralph Reed, and John Krasinski

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Governor Chris Christie, of New Jersey, angrily refused to pick up Donald Trump’s dry cleaning during a tense encounter between the two men on Friday, campaign sources confirm.

The ugly scene unfolded at the billionaire’s offices in midtown Manhattan, shortly after Trump revealed that his Vice-Presidential pick would be Governor Mike Pence of Indiana.

According to Trump aides, Christie stomped into the presumptive Republican nominee’s office and hurled a dry-cleaning ticket onto his desk, telling Trump, “You can pick up your own damn dry cleaning.”

The New Jersey governor then stormed out, and has not been seen by Trump or his staffers since.

Trump’s press secretary, Hope Hicks, warned the media against making too much of the apparent rift between the billionaire and Christie. “In the long hours of a campaign, emotions can sometimes get a little raw,” she said. “We are confident that Governor Christie will pick up Mr. Trump’s dry cleaning going forward.”

Reached later by reporters, Governor Christie issued a brief statement: “Get away from me. Just get away from me, you bastards.”

www.borowitzreport.com

In light of last week's events, many others, and in anticipation of next week.