Raine1967
Raine1967's JournalThe night before Christmas: Duck Dynasty Version
(reposted with permission from here)
Author: velveeta jones
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the manse
Not a creature was stirring, they'd been shot at first glance
The shotguns were hung by the chimney with glee,
With dreams of killin' animals on a long shootin' spree.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of white Jesus danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my camo,
Had just settled down to stock up on ammo.
When out on the lawn there arose such a sound,
I sprang from the sofa and kept close to the ground.
Away to the window I ran in a flash,
gun at my side, I'd paid for it in cash.
The moon on the hood of my shiny big truck
gave the lustre of wealth and I thanked my good luck.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and 8 living reindeer.
With a tall lanky driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
But wait, what what this? It's against all God's laws!
This man was a nig...er, BLACK Santa Claus!
He called to his reindeer, like they were his pets!
Why wouldn't he eat them? There'd be no regrets.
“Now Biden! now, Kerry! now, Jewell and Sebelius
On, Hagel! On, Holder! on, Perez” and the rest!
I reached for my Bible to check out some fact,
Shor 'nuff it said that Jesus weren't black.
Armed with the truth and a duck hunting rifle
This thug carryin' gifts was not a disciple.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on my roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I grease-camo'd my face and got ready my gun,
the fake santi came down and looked ready for fun!
He was dressed in a suit, from his head to his toe,
Nice and shiny and clean with a silk tie, not a bow.
a bundle of papers and files in his arms he held out,
He looked like a slick salesmen twas just makin' his route.
He looked at me sternly and spoke with such clarity
“We spy on your family and see your prosperity,
you are on the TV and pretend to be regular-folk
But the truth will come out it's all but a joke.”
“You say you're a Christian and live by the Bible,
but if Jesus was alive he'd sue you for libel;
the winnings he'd make he'd use for the downtroden and poor.
Regardless of color, God, origin or used the 'back door'”
“You are a complete fake, sham, a 'reality star'
Why even your beard is quite plainly bizarre!
You say you hate gays, there sinful wickedness you condemn;
while making money conning ducks that you want fruitful relations with them!”
He said a lot more but some I didn't hear,
I felt some remorse that I hadn't shot those reindeer.
He compared me to Osama, in beard and beleifs,
And said if we were all Christian's we'd not be lyin' thief's
Then sprang to his sleigh, and without any pomp,
They all flew away, away towards the swamp.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove with out hands,
“Merry Christmas to all, and now off to the Kardashians!”
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you!!
Today's bit of internet awesomeness: Festive Funk Machine!
"Feeling musical? Create your own funky festive tune. Just click on the robots to make a song!"
http://us.moo.com/merrymusic/
Raine
Need help understanding this about Boehner and his attempt to get Insurance on the DC exchange:
How was John Boehner, who I'm assuming is a resident of Ohio (8th district) able to sign up for health insurance on the DC exchange? This perked my curiosity after reading Steve Benen's post about the Speakers experience. http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/boehner-proves-the-wrong-point
Like many Americans, my experience was pretty frustrating. After putting in my personal information, I received an error message. I was able to work past that, but when I went to actually sign up for coverage, I got this “internal server error” screen. […]
Despite multiple attempts, I was unable to get past that point and sign up for a health plan. We’ve got a call into the help desk. Guess I’ll just have to keep trying…
As it turns out, his willingness to “keep trying” was a good idea. Boehner, who is not yet eligible for Medicare, “called the DC Health Link help line,” and a “few hours later,” the process was complete. He’d signed up for health insurance.
Oddly enough, the Republican House Speaker didn’t offer any details about his new health care plan. One would assume that if he’d experienced “sticker shock,” or been stuck choosing a plan that cost far more than his current coverage, Boehner would have mentioned it. Indeed, he would have been eager to mention it, since it would advance his larger political goals.
So why was Boehner silent on this point? Probably because he was able to save some money on an affordable plan – despite being a 64-year-old chain-smoker.
The Speaker provides a screen shot:
it's my understanding that the federal site directs you to a state site. If a state isn't participating you stay on the federal site.
Does he claim DC residency? If so, how can he claim to represent Ohio's 6th district? Does he have dual residency? Is that possible for a speaker of the house?
If anyone from Ohio could explain, I would appreciate it -- or for that matter -- anyone in general. I don't understand how someone from out of state -- Especially a state like Ohio, I've read that they are entering the Medicaid expansion, but I am not sure if they are planning on a state exchange. I'm under the impression that's not going to happen anytime soon.
It's my understanding that states with no exchange are required to the federal website.
I hope this makes sense. Thanks in advance!
Raine
Dear Virginia DU'rs GOTV!!! Friend in Virginia? GET THEM TO VOTE! It's more than the Governor:
Voter turnout is critical for us here! We can do this!
It ain't over till it's over. I REALLY REALLY want Mark Herring to be the next Attorney General.
This is the alternative:
Really, here is Obenshain's bill:
http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?091+ful+SB962+pdf <--- read it and vote.
Pass this on far and wide!
Today and tomorrow -- the last few hours to GOTV!
Voter turnout is critical for us here! We can do this!
It ain't over till it's over. I REALLY REALLY want Mark Herring to be the next Attorney General.
This is the alternative:
Really, here is Obenshain's bill:
http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?091+ful+SB962+pdf <--- read it and vote.
Pass this on far and wide!
We're down to the final stretch, I want to see a top three sweep. I want to see a few more delegates with a (D) after here name elected as well. Voter turnout is so very critical.
GOTV!
In case you were wondering 'whatever happened to grovelbot?' ....
Banksy has him. He's earning his keep.
http://www.banksyny.com/
Edited... I typed GRAVEL instead of Grovel... Now way would Banksy ever use this guy:
I MISS In _The_Wind!!!
I paid attention but I still miss her!
I want her to get home soon, safe sound and get busy posting her awesome gifs!
Many Federal Websites to be shut down -- including THOMAS
This is the kinda stuff that a lot of pundits don't want to report about, It's all the so called little things that are going to affect people. From WaPo: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-switch/wp/2013/09/30/a-bunch-of-federal-web-sites-will-shut-down-with-the-government/
Even the sites that don't go down may not function at regular capacity. The Department of Veterans Affairs, for example, says the agency's home page will be "updated intermittently." The Federal Elections Commission site will remain online "but static."
A number of agencies' contingency plans made no mention of their online presences, including the Environmental Protection Agency and the Department of Justice. But last week, the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) provided some general guidance that seems to imply that many government Web sites will be down.
The first comment at the WaPo article makes a really good point:
I don't know how we can call ourselves an open, free, and transparent society if THOMAS shuts down and the American people can no longer follow the actual legislation and debate regarding the shutdown. Every other government website can shut down, but not the website that actually shows you the bills and resolutions. This makes us no better than the governments that shut down the Internet for censorship reasons during times of crisis.
This is insane. To all of our fellow DU'rs here and overseas, that are affected, I send you
--
I have a few friends that fully expect to be home very early from work this afternoon.
Why can we Rec a locked post?
I was curious and clicked on a locked post. This one: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023687793
I was even more curious and saw that I could Rec it even to it was locked. I unrec'd immediatly. Is it beneficial to DU to have the ability to be able to Rec a post that is locked? I know the odds are slim, but could this post be rec'd to the greatest page after it was locked?
Bo Obama has a new Sister!
http://www.whitehouse.gov/meet-sunny?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_content=081913p2&utm_campaign=meetsunny
Sunny is the perfect little sister for Bo – full of energy and very affectionate – and the First Family picked her name because it fit her cheerful personality.
In the past, Bo has been eager to help the First Family with their official duties, from visiting Walter Reed and the Children’s National Medical Center, to inspecting the Holiday decorations at the White House, to greeting guests at the White House on tours and during the Easter Egg Roll, but in October, the First Lady told reporters that she hosted a “doggie play date” because “Bo doesn't have enough dog interaction.” So now, in addition to helping with those official duties, Bo takes on the important role of big brother!
(I cross posted this after I posted in GD)
Hello SUNNY! "Who's a good girl?"
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Member since: Fri Nov 12, 2004, 12:48 PMNumber of posts: 11,600