Why during winter do we keep our house as warm as it was when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father in law jokes?

How do those dead bugs get into enclosed light fixtures?

Why do people keep returning to the refrigerator in the hope that something new will have materialized?

Can you cry underwater?

If you have sex with a prostitute and don't pay her is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Is there ever a day when mattresses aren't on sale?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Once you're in heaven, are you stuck wearing the same clothes you were buried in?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does a dog get mad when you blow in his face but when he goes for a ride he sticks his head out the window?

If humans evolved from apes, why are there still apes?




I invite your answers and other questions.

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I live in Tamarac. McNab and Nob Hill.
I left on Dec. 29 and returned last Sunday morning.
Howdy neighbor.

I just got my Photobucket account and wanted to try it out. This is me getting ready to party on the cruise ship. I'll be posting more pics of my trip soon.
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Rather dashing, wouldn't you say ladies?

So I got released from work after two hours and told I will be paid for tomorrow but don't bother showing up.

Which means I am starting my vacation two days early!
Problem is, I don't leave on my cruise until Sunday. I have nothing left to do. Shopping- done. Bills- paid.
I'm going to be bouncing off these walls for the next 3 days.

and this is EXACTLY what we think about the other trades.

NSFW!

And so far, only my mom has called me.
Nobody loves me, I guess. I'm 48, a little pudgy, short, and so handsome that women must think I'm attached and out of reach.

(sigh)

Maybe they're planning a surprise party?
At least my boss gave me half the day off with pay. I think I'll take a little nappy-poo.

From 1558 to 1829, English Roman Catholics were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. Each verse has a secret meaning known only to the members of the Church.

The partridge in a pear tree refers to Jesus Christ

Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testament

Three french hens refers to faith, hope and love

Four calling birds are the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John

Five golden rings refers to the Torah, or Law. The first five books of the Old Testament

Six geese a laying recalls the six days of creation

Seven swans a swimming represent the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit-- Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership and Mercy

The eight maids a milking were the eight beatitudes

Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit-- love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control

Ten lords a leaping are the ten Commandments

Eleven pipers pipng stood for the eleven faithful Disciples

Twelve drummers drumming symbolizes the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed




And so friends, that is your history, or trivia, lesson for the day. It was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening to know how a strange song became a Christmas Carol and now I share it with you.

Merry Twelve Days of Christmas Everyone.

I would like to share an experience with you all about drinking and driving.
I'm sure some of you have had brushes with the law after leaving a social gathering during this time of year. Last night I was out with friends at a bar and had a coupla three of four too many Crown Royals and beer. Knowing full well that I might be slightly over the limit, I decided to take a bus home.
Sure enough we came up to a roadblock but since it was a bus we were waived right through. Well, I arrived home without incident, which was a real surprise because I have never driven a bus before and I'm not exactly sure where I got it.

If you know or hear about anybody missing a bus, please PM me so I can arrange its return.


Thanks in advance and Merry Christmas everyone!