every now and then Sarah Huckabee Sanders does something idiotic enough to make the news — and all of a sudden you’re reminded that holy shit, this low-wattage underachiever who spent three years lying for a fascist sack of shit is actually the Governor of Arkansas. what the fuck, voters? how on God’s green earth could you have allowed this to happen? were you drunk last election day?

check out this tasty slice of prime fucknuttery:

Gov. Sanders declares state of emergency ahead of eclipse
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (KNWA/KFTA) — Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders declared a state of emergency on Friday ahead of the solar eclipse, according to a news release. Sanders said in the release that she released funds from the Response and Recovery Fund to help commercial carriers transport essentials to customers in the state during the eclipse. The essential items listed in the order include groceries, pharmacy items, medical equipment, goods, commodities, fuel, poultry, livestock and feed.

why, Sarah? the totality of the eclipse will be about 4 minutes. what do you expect is going to happen? what “essentials” will need to be transported during 240 seconds of darkness?



quick! we have a poultry emergency in Little Rock! the chickens think it’s night and fell asleep! send out the commercial carriers! alert the — oh wait, the sun’s already coming back out.

FERGUSON TOWNSHIP — A small but growing subset of Pennsylvania municipalities are turning to stormwater fees as they face the burden of maintaining aging infrastructure that is being tested by climate change.

The model is facing pushback from farmers who employ separate mitigation practices and large property owners confronted by pricey bills. The latter group includes West Chester University, which won a judgment in state court last year that found the fee was actually a tax that nonprofits like the school don’t have to pay.

Municipal entities say the case, currently on appeal to the state Supreme Court, threatens a multimillion-dollar revenue source and their ability to keep pollution out of local waterways. The pipes, drains, and gutters that make up stormwater systems are largely invisible to most people until something goes wrong, but they are critical to prevent flooding, property damage, and pollution.

As Pennsylvania’s stormwater infrastructure — graded a “D” by the American Society of Civil Engineers in 2022 — gets older and heavy rain becomes more frequent, maintaining deteriorating pipes and drains is getting harder and more expensive.

pour one out for Peter Navarro, the poster boy for the mediocre entitled white male dipshit. Pete’s having the saddest of sads right now, because he’s currently in prison, and guess what: prison fucking suuuuuuuuucks.

it’s only been 16 days, but already Pete’s been whining to all who will listen. the food sucks. the cell sucks. the guards suck. all the other inmates suck. the lack of privacy sucks. waking up at 4am sucks. having no control over your life sucks. it’s not fair!

.... Big Sad Pete’s gone running to the Supreme Court and he’s asking his pal Neil Gorsuch to issue him a Get-Out-Of-Contempt-Of-Congress-Free Card, pronto.

Tuesday’s petition for reconsideration was submitted by Navarro’s lawyers, Stan M. Brand and Stanley E. Woodward, Jr., stating: “Dr. Peter K. Navarro self-surrendered to the custody of the Bureau of Prisons on March 19, 2024 and has now served fifteen (15) days of his four (4) month sentence. Of note, on March 26, 2024, the D.C. Circuit set a briefing schedule in his appeal, providing that briefing will not be concluded until July 19, 2024, after he is scheduled to have served the entirety of his prison sentence. Accordingly, we respectfully request your reconsideration of the Chief Justice’s denial.”

isn’t that nice? Dr. Peter K. Navarro wants you to know that just because he showed up for prison on time and was a very good boy for fifteen days, he should get a participation trophy, a pat on the head, and be sent merrily on his way.

Number One Trump Fangirl Judge Aileen Cannon continues to fuck the Big Classified Document Theft Trial straight into the ground. inexperienced and way out of her depth — and in obvious thrall of the defendant — the judge has been issuing incoherent statements, misunderstanding basic statutes, and making inane requests of both the defense and prosecution lawyers.

most infuriatingly, she’s refusing to rule on anything, kicking every can down the road. Trump will make some ridiculous claim, and instead of immediately slapping it down, Cannon will stick it in her back pocket and make a pinky-swear promise to get back to us about it real soon now. unanswered filings are piling up, pushing any possibility of a trial further into the future. yesterday, she declined to set a trial date.

the Man Who Convicts War Criminals In The Hague has finally lost his famous cool — and late last night filed a writ of shit or get off the pot, Aileen. at the center of this donnybook is Donny Trump’s wackadoodle insistence that the Presidential Records Act says that just by touching any document, they magically become his personal property. (this is actually the opposite of what the Presidential Records Act states.)

any other judge in the multiverse would have rejected this dumbfuck notion in about two nanoseconds, and ruled immediately from the bench — but not Judge Aileen. nope, she’s actually taking it seriously. in fact, she’s taking it so seriously that she asked Jack Smith to play make-believe along with her, and pretend that it were true.

in 1995, with his usual accordion-hands bullshit fanfare, Little Donny Fuckface announced that he was taking Trump Hotels and Casino Resorts public. it was going to be huge — the best stock — maybe the greatest stock of all time. big strong investment bankers, with tears of gratitude pooling in their eyes, came up to Trump and said “sir! sir! thank you for giving us this opportunity to make godzillions of dollars.”

the Gordon Gekkos of the day rushed to snap up every available share — because they forgot about the part where everything Trump touches dies. Donny’s clownfuck mismanagement, along with the usual business of Trump stealing everything that wasn’t nailed down and skimming money off the top, led to the price of the stock eventually plummeting from a high of $35 dollars to a low of 17 cents a share.

Trump Hotels and Casino Resorts finally died a merciful bankrupt death in 2004. all of which makes it super fucking hilarious to watch it happen all over again.

screenshot:

Trump’s net worth plunges $1 billion as his media stock tumbles
Shares of Truth Social owner Trump Media & Technology Group plunged Monday after the company disclosed that it lost more than $58 million and generated very little revenue in 2023. Former President Donald Trump is the company’s majority shareholder, and his net worth tumbled by more than $1 billion Monday as a result.

oh dear.

on the same day that he crashed a wake for an NYC policeman slain in the line of duty and turned it into a dead cops are props photo op, Little Donny Fuckface committed a second atrocity.

he took to his crappy app and posted a video of one of these dipshit MAGA cultist pickup trucks. you know the kind I’m talking about: every fucking square inch of it is plastered with TRUMP decals and LET’S GO BRANDON stickers, and sprouting a dozen or more TRUMP 2024 flags waving in the wind — because everything with these dildos has to be 120-decibel in-your-face aggression. we get it, pal, you’re an asshole. thanks for letting us know.

and behind the wheel of these god-awful eyesores is always some low-wattage red-hat simpleton with a fuckton of asinine grievances about the commies and the women and the blacks, who dreams of a glorious return to permanent white supremacy with Dear Leader installed as King-Emperor for Life.

but this MAGA truck had a cool additional feature: across its tailgate was an image of Joe Biden hogtied and gagged like a kidnapping victim. ha ha! so funny!

ON TUESDAY, THE Supreme Court heard arguments in a case that threatens to limit access to mifepristone — a critical component of the abortion pill protocol — nationwide. A decision in the case is not expected until June, but close observers of the Supreme Court seem to think the case will be dismissed over a lack of standing.

The fact that this case made it all the way to the high court, though, is a testament to the reality that ending access to the abortion pill — the most common method of abortion, which accounted for 63 percent of terminations last year — is no longer an idea that only exists in the fever dreams of the far-right fringe. It’s a goal of the mainstream Republican Party.

Last week, the Republican Study Committee — a caucus that includes 80 percent of the Republican conference in the U.S. House of Representatives — embraced a budget proposal that endorses banning all medication abortions nationwide. That idea is included in what is supposed to be a budget proposal, one that the conference presents as a “sober pathway to balance the budget, reduce prices, preserve the programs Americans have paid into, and create economic growth and opportunity.”

Ending access to the abortion pill is an idea House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) has supported for a long time. At the height of the Covid-19 pandemic, Johnson warned that the shift to telemedicine threatened to make it easier to obtain the medication. ...

Americans overwhelmingly support maintaining access to the abortion pill — even Republicans. According to a Fox News poll released Wednesday, more than two-thirds of all voters favor keeping mifepristone legal, including almost 9 out 10 Democrats, 7 in 10 independents, and 48 percent of Republicans. Overall, just 28 percent of all voters believe that the pill should be outlawed. Those numbers mirror the results of a new Axios poll, which found 72 percent of Americans support allowing women to obtain abortion pills from a doctor or clinic.

HARRISBURG — As the 2024 election heats up, voters in Pennsylvania may hear candidates talk about poll watchers. Appointed by candidates or political parties, poll watchers are permitted to observe polling place setup, the voting process, and the counting of ballots.

Poll watchers are a longstanding feature of elections in Pennsylvania and around the country, and both major parties use them to guard against malfeasance. But in 2020 they became the subject of mass scrutiny as former President Donald Trump made multiple false or misleading claims about them. His campaign also brought unsuccessful lawsuits arguing its watchers should be allowed in Philadelphia’s satellite mail ballot offices and allowed to serve in counties other than where they reside.

Trump’s complaints continued during the year’s protracted post-election ballot count, with a state judge at one point ordering Philadelphia to let poll watchers move closer to ballot counting locations. City officials objected, saying their election workers faced harassment as a result of the scrutiny and widespread confusion about what poll watchers are allowed to do.

Election directors broadly agree that poll watchers are crucial for improving confidence in the election process, but say that understanding the rules is imperative.

Lord Emperor Shitstain was in Massapequa Park on Long Island last night to wedge himself between a camera and the grieving family of a cop killed in the line of duty — and the worst fuckheads in the world fell all over themselves in a mad dash to proclaim that Donny’s photo-op was the most selfless act of humanity ever, one for which Dear Leader deserves endless praise.

oh, please. fuck straight off with that nonsense. look at this bullshit:
(screenshot)


“POLICE ARE THE GREATEST PEOPLE WE HAVE. THERE IS NOTHING, AND NOBODY LIKE THEM—THIS SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN…”

give me a fucking break. here’s how much Trump loves police: after sending an armed mob to the Capitol on January 6th — where his deranged worshipers beat cops with flagpoles, fire extinguishers, and whatever else was handy — the sadistic fuck sat back and giggled as he watched it on TV — even as his own people begged him to intervene.



over 140 members of Capitol Police were injured on January 6th — and now Trump is promising to pardon the perpetrators as part of his Day One Dictatorship. did Donny attend the wake of officer Brian Sicknick, who died as a result of his injuries? no, he did not. but please, tell me one more time about Donald Trump’s undying adoration for law enforcement. that shit never gets old.