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OldBaldy1701E

OldBaldy1701E's Journal
OldBaldy1701E's Journal
December 15, 2023

I don't suppose anyone knows where a person can go for assistance.

Bottom line: We will be facing the loss of this place as our residence at some point in the next year. The owner is getting married and the original plan we made with him is gone. (Because it never existed. He never meant a word of it.) None of this is 'official', as my husband can't be convinced that these things need to be documented six ways to Sunday. He and this person agreed to several things that the homeowner either ignored or reneged on. Now, he is going to screw us over because the next shiny object caught his attention. (No, there was nothing explicit going on here, just someone that my mate thought would be a good person to live with on a permanent basis in kind fa communal arrangement. Again, I was not privy to most of this and by the time I was involved, it was a done deal that we were going to move up here and live with this person in his house. He is my husband. What was I supposed to do?)

There is nothing to do in regards to this situation as there was nothing formal about it. Which means he can just give us 30 days and then toss us out. We know no one else here. In seven years, I have been shut out of every attempt to create a friendship or even an acquaintance. We are over 1300 miles from anyone we know. My husband is in denial I think. To my knowledge, he has not done anything to look into dealing with this situation. He says he is confident that the wedding idea will never happen and things will just go on as they have. This situation we are in is driving me insane, as well as this part of the city. I am scared that my husband will just sit here and let this happen. I suppose the same thing could be said of me, but my inaction is mostly because of my anxieties. This type of thing is exactly the trigger that sets my entire mental health into a spiral that can be impossible to manage. (Which I warned my mate about when he proposed. He has experienced it, so he knows.)

I feel so helpless. I keep reading how everything is supposed to be so great and yet I am looking at being homeless and destitute. Every time I try to seek help, I just get lots of thoughts and prayers, which as we all know are worse than useless in such a situation. I am not familiar with seeking help like this because this is the first time I have ever needed it. I have tried the normal channels to get help or loans or something but they always shake their head pityingly and then close the window. I am facing this Christmas as the last one that will ever be normal.

Are the agencies that will actually help someone instead of tossing a crumb and telling me to keep going? Because the crumbs are gone and there is no going to be kept. Other than selling my goddamned organs, what can I do? I have nothing. My entire material worth (which is all this nation cares about anyway, let's be honest) is like $600, which is no help at all. I will gladly sell off my babies (guitars) to help with this, but as I said, they are not worth much. My physical health means I cannot work because I cannot maintain a schedule with anyone. When my body stops working I cannot work, regardless of the employers schedule. Who would ever hire anyone like that?

(I told him about my luck. I warned him many times. Now he sees. Now he sees that line from Hee Haw was more than a throwaway joke. 'If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.'

December 2, 2023

I just spend the last ten hours putting up the Christmas stuff.

I am very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, sore and tired.

(Did I mention that I hurt? heh)



Profile Information

Name: Dalton Ivey
Gender: Male
Hometown: The Outer Banks
Home country: USA
Current location: Minneapolis, MN
Member since: Wed Mar 6, 2019, 01:24 PM
Number of posts: 4,827

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