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Profile Information

Gender: Do not display
Hometown: Kansas
Home country: USA
Current location: Kansas
Member since: Mon Dec 14, 2020, 10:27 AM
Number of posts: 2,043

About Me

Bleeding heart liberal, in the mold of FDR, and damned proud of it! Retired, still doing web work and teaching. Still rescuing animals and finding, as well as giving, them warm, loving homes. My personal belief: all alive are precious; everything living on earth forms an interconnected network - much like a neural network. Most of us have forgotten, or never learned, how to tap into it. Of course, there are those that totally ignore the interconnectedness. Mostly Republicans/Libertarians (YMMV)

Journal Archives

I had a horrible, no good night last night

I have Lupus and fibro... and both were rearing their symptoms after working overtime on the house. To be expected, I guess. But I was also upset after losing DiFi. I was also worried about close friends I have who are Fed workers, as well my daughter who is also working for the Feds. IOW, it was a pretty emotional day.

In bed, quiet, I took out my Lemornand cards who have been especially on spot lately and asked to guide me as to the answer to what was specifically causing my distress that night. I was a basket case. Gods, I was not ready for it. In a couple of days, I'm going to do a Thoth reading to get more info, but as of last night, the Lemornand shows that R's are going to steal the election, *rump in jail or not, and he will be the next Pres. It showed chaos and the religious right in ascendency, dropping the anvil on everything. My first thought was "run"... I've read so much from one or two people on this board about Costa Rica. But I have no money. That's when I thought I'd do a follow up with the Thoth, if it'll talk to me again after doing the Lemornand.

My question... has anyone else had the courage to run the cards on the situation we find ourselves in now? And projected out into the future?

I did a Thoth run in 2000 and correctly read Bush's election and all that followed afterwards. When the last of it came true, is when I found the Lemornand cards. Since I started out with cartomancy many, many years ago it was an easy read in many ways. But I don't find it as complete as the Thoth. Anyone else here read the Thoth? If not... what do you favor? I've been reading the Thoth for over 40 years. It always teaches me something new, and I'll never claim to be a master reader. I'll bow to anyone else who also reads; we all have ways the spirit moves through us.

Blessed Mabon, to one and all!

May the Goddess grant us the serenity to contemplate our shadow sides during the coming dark of the year, and the grace to accept and learn from them. As I figure I'm now in the Mabon of my personal life circle, this time holds special meaning. As well, it marks hubby and my 38th wedding anniversary.

I thought I'd share the ritual I'm going to be doing tonight. For almost three decades, I've been HPS to a coven of Solitaires (as I put it). As age and family issues have gained prominence at this time of our lives, I'm back to doing Solitaire work for now. Looking forward to Samhain, tho... everyone comes home for Samhain! (LOL) Anyway, for those interested, here's the ritual. Feel free to add it to your BOS, to take, change, and make it your own. I've used it for many years, and I always make last minute changes as the Spirit moves.

I thought I’d share with you the ritual I’ll be using this evening. This will done within the circle in my own home, tho… not in a cemetery. I don’t think the Army likes us in their National Cemeteries at night (gryn). For me, I’ll be consuming mead in the ritual.

For this ritual you will need an apple and a chalice of wine or juice. Grape or apple juices are excellent choices if you cannot drink alcohol. If it is at all possible, this ritual should take place in a secluded cemetery. If this isn't possible, you should try to visit a cemetery where your loved ones are buried and leave apples to wish them a quick rebirth.

When you are ready to begin, cast your circle, and invite your deities.

Blessed be this season of Mabon,
Time of the second harvest, the harvest of fruit and wine.
Tonight all things are in balance: Goddess and God, Life and Death, Light and Dark.
Tonight the darkness will conquer the light, leading us deeper into the waning year.
If you are not at the cemetery of your loved ones, visualize if you can their resting places. Take the apple and hold it in front of you at heart level.

Ancient symbol of life, death and rebirth, take away my mourning.
Help me to be assured that death is not a permanent parting,
but a new and joyful beginning.

If you are in the cemetery place the apple in front of the grave of a loved one. The apple symbolizes reincarnation. If you aren't at the cemetery, you should save the apple to bury in the Earth later to symbolize your hope for rebirth to all life. With the somber part of the ritual over now, you should turn yourself to gladness and honor the God of wine and the aging Crone Goddess. Take the chalice of wine and hold it upward.

Blessed Crone, thank you for bringing me safely to this season.
God of wine, thank you for your gift of the grape.

Now you can make a toast to whomever or whatever you like. Make as many as you toasts as you want and make them as silly as you want!!

When you are finished, say:
Blessed be Mabon, season of bounty.

Now spend some time in your circle meditating or communing with the spirits that may surround you. Then close the circle however you wish.

Note: I've always found that the toasting (as well as the amount of mead consumed) raise the energies in the room, especially when hubby joins me in ritual. Be sure to ground the energy raised appropriately!

And once again, a very blessed Mabon to you. May the coming season be one of vision, strength, and love.

Just need to rant... don't need to go down the rabbit hole..!

This started out as a rant to what I saw as ageism in a comment. Since I’ve not been totally on an even keel all day because of pain levels, I erased my comment and decided to write this. Hopefully you’ll be understanding.

I was forced into retirement 3 years ago (I'm 67 now) due to disability, work which I loved doing, and which should have been covered by the ADA... *especially* since I worked for the DoD. Since then, my pain meds have not only increased in price (tho the generics have aged), but every year brings new obstacles to overcome in my search to keep functioning and on my feet.

I read today HSA is gonna ramp up keeping illicit opiates out of the U.S. Okay… bad journalism strikes again, I hope, tho… middle of the article sounds like they were going to work on reducing supply of all opiates in the U.S. And then we moved on to the Government Shutdown. Quite a few comments left about us old people voting idiotically/republican. Okay… that one, I admit, got my goat. That’s the one where I started to leave a comment.

I'm married to a man 5 years older and much less physically able than I am. I was the main breadwinner for this family all our married lives, lot of good that did. I'm a woman. and I watched my male IT friends make 30K+ more than me each year for doing the exact same job as me, simply because I was female (this was before the DoD). If you don’t know what that does to that SS check when you draw it, look into it.

I have 9 cats and one dog who's as big as a pony. I've been a true blue democrat my entire life; my first vote was cast for Jimmy Carter. I was also in one of the first flights of female "law enforcement officers...LE" (as they called us at the time) in the United States Air Force.

I’m a veteran who was very proud to work for various Army Colleges creating, designing, and troubleshooting distance learning curriculum for my Reserve and National Guard brothers and sisters in the field. You do not know how deep the hatred and the word “traitor” is branded in my heart against *rump. And, whether you’re in combat or just in Basic Training the person beside you is your best friend. It doesn’t make any difference the color, sex, gender, or faith. Whatever you’re into, you’re in it together.

I currently live in a small city with a military post, and this is an active military retirement town. Although most of the retirees around here are officer types, even *I* wouldn't be so bold to say they could afford a shut down! (and believe me, they made a hell of a lot more than my pay grade! lol)

Thing is, there's a lot of older people around me for blocks around... some I check on to be sure they're okay. I don't ask if they're R or D but from the looks of their homes, I'll bet the majority are D. Our area has been badly gerrymandered. And besides, just because our bodies have seen better days, it doesn't automatically turn us into Republican nincompoops!*

Pray tell…. How in the hell am I going to feed myself and my hubby, plus the critters, plus the ferals I look after, as well as the older people I check in on? It's already been getting tighter than hell around here because of an unexpected complete car breakdown and a $4000 bill to fix the other one. And now I've got THIS to worry about?????

The other day, one of the women I check in on... who has 2 cats herself, gave ME a half case of Fancy Feast to help me. Kinda hurt my pride, but I accepted it willingly and gratefully; I knew where it was coming from in her heart.. she knew from her neighbors (our best friends) what the car bill had done to us.

So.... if you see an older person out there, just realize they may be even more blue than you when it comes to voting.

A good many of us old women got the younger ones the freedoms we all just lost. Think how *we* feel when you realize how much work it took to achieve that victory the first time?!

And many, many of the men and women you see may be Reserve or National Guard troops (that is, if they can get moved thanks to Tuberville). They left jobs and family and went straight into military life (some having only been in training gigs before). That’s how this pacifist stayed so long in doing that job. These people were yanked out of “normal life” and put into kill or be killed situations. Can you imagine how terrified you would be? What would you not do for them?

Like I said, part of this OP is a rant that was started towards a comment today. I erased that and decided to expound a little more. I needed some relief, I guess. I took one hell of a hard fall last night, and I think it’s jiggled a few of those remaining brain cells I’ve got left. I was hit with how little it would take to see my own mortality flash before my eyes. Kinda scary… especially for my husband.

We’ve got an old, torn up massage chair that must weight 500+ pounds. 3 years ago I was able to wiggle it, inch by inch, into the laundry room to get it out of the way. Of all the useful things we left behind in the last move, we made sure to move that damnable chair! (LOL) Anyway, I was pulling on the headrest to pull the top of the chair forward with all my strength and might when I guess my hand just flew off it… my arthritis or sweaty leather the cause, I’m not sure.

Chevy Chase couldn’t have executed a better fall!!!! Straight as a plank I went down on the hardwood floor, my extruding tailbone taking the first and full brunt of 95 pounds of dead weight. Needless to say, sitting was out of the question and laying down wasn’t all that comfy. It wasn’t until I went to bed I discovered the quarter sized goose egg on the side of my head. No, I didn’t head to the ER. I knew I hadn’t broken anything; and, having a script for pain meds, they wouldn’t have given me anything, anyway.
Unfortunately, I used the last of those yesterday… out til Friday. Of course. Don’t you always do something stupid just before your meds run out?! (LOL)

I’m not a happy camper, and I hope I haven’t offended anyone when I responded to comments because of it. I really have tried to keep a sense of humor. I keep having this Chevy Chase moment flash thru my mind and it makes me giggle.

It also reminds me that one of these days there could be a not so funny fall waiting for me. You younguns’ out there don’t have any idea of what it’s like to be this age and yet still feel inside like you did when you were in your 20’s.

The Spirit is invincible; it’s a let down when you realize the body just ain’t gonna let you, tho. Believe me, calling anyone a “republican” or “conservative” just because they’re old isn’t the worst hurt in the world… but it may get a rambling response like this every once in a while. Be prepared… because one of these days, I’ll lay odds you lay your hand to type one as well.

Be well, be brave. May you never hunger, may you never thirst. May love ever find you.

*of course, depending on your experience, YMMV.

How is it I never found my way to the Lounge???

I always thought this was a place where that wasn't pleasant, but I scanned the topics and it seems okay... and I love the cat video "the little brother" ... whoever posted that!

Do you take rants? I don't know where else to post, and I hate to intrude into a forum like mental health when someone else may be in need and I'm okay. I just needed to rant a little bit... it's even a fairly genteel rant (I think... at least, for me!)

Thank you!

To whomever gifted me a star membership, thank you SO much! (The onions I'm cutting have my eyes a bit bleary right now). I've been around for a long time, but it took a long time before I was brave enough to make my own voice known. I've felt DU is my "home" since the days of Bush Jr... and it means so much to feel like I truly am part of our "family" here. I'm humbled... bless you!


Hubby and I haven't had a vacation in decades... not since before 9/11. We've decided we're going to Chicago to celebrate our anniversary. We're going slow and easy... on Amtrak.

I'm wondering if we have an Chicago DU'ers who can give us suggestions. I see where the Tall Ship Windy is going to be there during that time (+/- Sept 21st), and hubby will want to check it out. I want to do a dinner cruise. But other than that, we're so open to suggestions! We'd like to stay around the Union Station area, so we don't have to worry about transportation. Hopefully we can walk to most everything.


The Parliament of World's Religion

The Parliament of World’s Religion will convene in Chicago next Monday (8/14). This year, the theme of the gathering is defending freedom and human rights against the rise of authoritarianism.

The Parliament of the World’s Religions is an international interfaith organization that aims to promote dialogue, understanding, and cooperation among different religious and spiritual traditions. It brings together representatives from various faith communities, scholars, activists, and leaders to engage in discussions, workshops, and events addressing global issues, social justice, environmental concerns, and religious harmony. It has played a role in shaping interfaith dialogue, advocating for religious freedom, and encouraging positive social change. It continues to be a significant gathering for those interested in promoting harmony and cooperation among different religious communities.

Several of the speakers this year will be speaking or giving workshops on Environmental Justice and/or combatting climate change, in addition to defending freedom, human rights, and religious freedom for all, regardless of religious path (or none) in this age or rising authoritarianism.

One of the reasons I wanted to highlight this is not just because I think it’s such a worthy convention. It’s because of some of the speakers. Nancy Pelosi is going to a speaker, as will Jane Goodall. These are but two of many, many vital speakers. When I read those two names, in addition to a couple of the Pagan authors whose books were in my personal library, I wanted so badly to attend. Unfortunately, the cost of the 5-day event, plus air-fare and hotel put the event completely outside my budget. But I did want to highlight Speaker Pelosi’s attendance, especially at an event that is not necessarily political in nature. I would have loved to have gone just to shake her hand and tell her “thank you” for all she did!

If anyone is interested in checking out the website, here’s the link:


I've just started having a problem on DU,

and wondered if anyone else has seen something similar.

If I go to reply to a message... I don't get the "hand" and I can't reply to that message. It's not a replyable "link" for me, IOW. I CAN reply to the thread by hitting "reply" at the end of all the messages. That still works.

I managed to reply to one message (maybe two messages) all day. None of the others I wanted to reply to, even those who have replied to a message of mine, have worked, however. I'm about to give it up for the day and go to bed. I've been so busy all week, and today has just been a continuation of that... I thought at one point it was the Universe's way of helping me avoid making a "mistake" (gryn).

But then I wondered if anyone else was having the same issue. Understand, if you reply, I probably won't be able to answer you (gryn). Tomorrow, I'm going to tear down my machine and do a thorough clean off of programs/apps and browser add-ons, as well as an intensive check for any malware that games might have slipped on via ads. I use IOBIT everyday, so normally I don't have any issues. It keeps my system pretty darned clean and up to date. But it never hurts to do an intensive scan every so often.

I'm also on the search for a good desktop email program, other than Thunderbird, which has a calendar app, and can import my email/folder setup from an existing webmail account. Thunderbird would fit the bill great, IF it could connect reliably to my Spectrum webmail (it can't). I'm open to suggestions, if you have a favorite!

Thanks, you guys! I'm off to bed, now! Think I'll binge Manifest again!

Hea... sorry to everyone at DU

that I might have offended with my rants tonight. Maybe it's how disconnected I feel to the 4th of July this year. How disgruntled and enraged I am at the way SCOTUS has been changing civil rights, killing (at least for me) 50 years of hard work.

Maybe it's because so much "law" is being tossed aside to placate the loudest and basest among America's citizens; or maybe it's because I see all of this "terraforming" (laying out the foundation) for a country that none of us is going to want to live in. And maybe it's because I think if the Magas and the billionaires don't like our country, maybe THEY should have moved out here and found a country that more closely aligned with their belief systems. I hear Russia is needing a lot of workers...

Maybe it's because I'm sick and tired of seeing people whom I know barely have 2 nickels to rub together, somehow come home with arms full of fireworks. Why don't they just stick a $100 bill in the fire and watch it burn up. Accomplishes much the same thing. There sure isn't anything to celebrate, AFAIC. But then, I'm of 1/2 of the population who got told that we aren't capable of deciding what's right for our own bodies... and sitting here fuming... waiting for the other shoes to drop. These people started shooting off firecrackers and M80s (or whatever they call the bomb-sounding firecrackers) two days ago.

I've had two days/nights with 5 of my 9 cats terrified and plastered on the ceiling (figuratively speaking), and one big dog who wants to go back "walksies" and with whom I don't dare. He took off running once before, when I first brought him home, and ended up breaking my leg. That was the first "walk" on a leash we did. He's either running scared into my bedroom when the overly loud "booms" come, or he's pestering me for a walk. And I forgot to get him his calmative this year; I was too into getting my cat's lifesaving medicine and completely forgot about my poor Lexy. Besides, at this point, *I* need a calmative!!!! LOL!!

So, if I've spouted off to anyone in my replies, please don't take it personally. It definitely wasn't meant that way, I promise you. We all have a point of breaking, and I reached mine tonight. Like I said in one of my messages, it'll probably mean a lively BBQ tomorrow with a large number of political friends. And they're very used to my "passionate" nature... and yet, they still love me. Thank goodness!

I wish you all a very happy 4th, however you spend it. If you can find a way to celebrate, despite all that's happened since 2016, go for it.

If, like me, you're down enough to see the end of our country and no one with power standing up and doing anything about it. Basically feeling like the PTB that ought to be on our side are ignoring us. Then I hope you have someone to spend the day with. Good friends with whom to share a meal and good conversation.

Critters around you to comfort and care for. And let them comfort you.

Again, I sincerely apologize for my ranting... please forgive me.

I'm so frustrated, I'm nearly in tears...

For months now, I've been worried sick about the damnable debt ceiling and whether or not we'd have a social security check come June, and for how long we'd be without one. My "retirement money" went towards buying a house outright so we'd at least have four walls and a roof over our heads and not be homeless during our elder years. But we have cats, a dog, and ourselves to feed and the usual multitude of medications now that we're both old to pay for and worry about. On top of that, hubby has had four (mild) heart attacks, I have fibromyalgia, lupus, and severe back problems. We also work with my sister to support our mother who's in a memory care home. Rather than a nice, calm retirement... thanks to Trump and the damned magats (who've been in power since my retirement), it's been anything but calm and peaceful.

I've seen every bit of progress I fought for in my youth for women, young people, and minorities stripped from us in the last few years and hate grow by leaps and bounds. When I was 18 and sought to become a preacher, I was laughed out of the Baptist church where I'd made my inquiries because I was female, although I had a strong background and foundation of religious education. Knowing what I wanted to do in my heart, and not being driven by money (as in, not being concerned with that being my "career path," I started studying different world religions until I found one that fit my internal belief system and soon became initiated into the Craft of the Wise (Wicca). I was about 20 at the time. Today, close to 50 years later, I'm seeing shades of the old Satanic Panic days beginning to rise once again, as well.

Over the last few days, it looked like a debt ceiling resolution was going to be accomplished without demolishing our economy and the world's economic foundations. I actually had the temerity to breathe a sigh of relief and start to make plans to take my car in for a checkup and an overhaul it has 236k miles on it). Also to make plans for material to expand the outside catio. And what do I see a few minutes ago? Kevin McCarthy once again talking commission about cutting Social Security and Medicare. Social Security needs to be increased per month for most of us, not cut. Most of us do not get SNAP or any other benefits; we make do with budgeting on just our SS checks. The COLA isn't figured correctly for the elderly. Our needs and how our money gets spent is different from other age groups, and yet our COLA is figured as though we're 35 years old and our buying habits are the same as a middle ager. We often are care givers for our even older parents and yet are not recognized or helped with that, and many (if not most) of us are trapped in Red States that have stripped what little state aid there was for elder care of any kind. Note: I live in Brownbackistan and it's like night and day here after they came to power. I figure it's much the same in the other states where the R's took over. The care programs and $$$ available dried up and went to the rich and powerful instead of to the elderly and caregivers where it was needed. Now McCarthy is making noises about stripping away even more money that we paid into our retirement insurance accounts all our lives. These are Entitlement Accounts with a capital letters. They are not dirty labels, as the R's make them out to be.

They are Entitlement Accounts because it is OUR money because we worked and paid into the accounts with our own earned income. I realize that "Earned Income" is probably a mysterious concept to most Republicans. They make most of their money in unearned income, which is taxed less (and is absolutely backwards in taxation, AFAIC). Republicans also consider it to be "dirty money" because it is "social money"... it isn't put into an account under your own singular name to draw from, like an IRA. And, while they've stolen from that pot of money for themselves quite generously through the years, they've never paid back the IOU's, and never even mentioned the IOU's exist. And Lord knows, they won't do what needs to be done to correct the IOU issue... which is to raise the income cap.

And so I sit here nearly in tears at the frustration of it all. They won't be satisfied until they once again see the elderly homeless on the streets or starving once again. I remember those days... it wasn't that long ago. My parent's generation is the only generation that hasn't had to worry (much) about Social Security being there. My generation got scammed with Medicare Advantage. But at least there's being some eyes turned towards that scam now. But is it going to take a resurgence of the Grey Panthers to fight McCarthy and the R's on Social Security cuts and to try to get the cap raised? Why aren't the younger generations fighting mad about this? Is it because they're acquiescing on this issue because so much else is wrong with the U.S.? Or because it's so far in their future they feel it just doesn't affect them?

I actually am, literally, sick and tired of all this bullcrap. I've worked in paid employment since I was 13 years old. I'm 67 now. I was forced into retirement at 62 because of disability. Rather than swallow a handful or two of pills and shake off this mortal coil of pain and disillusionment, I'd like to spend what years I have left in some form of peace and love with the friends I have left here on this plane of existence. Right now, we're all worried about how we're going to eat and afford our medication for our chronic illnesses, and how we're going to feed all our cats (no jokes, please!). Life, especially at this age, should not be reduced to this. I would say "This isn't fair"... but it just brings up the old "Life isn't fair" adage my dad drummed into me from a very early age. But really, when you've lived your life ethically, legally, and morally correct to the best of your ability all your life and you've done your best to help those around you when they've needed help, regardless of your own circumstances, neither you nor anyone else your age should have to worry about what tomorrow will bring because of a political party of Deatheaters.

I don't know what the answer is... at least, not that anyone would listen to, anyway. The easy answer is to raise the damned income cap on Social Security. It is now and always has been set too low, especially when you consider SS is available for everyone who meets the minimum work requirements. And the higher your earnings the higher your SS check. But god help us if we tax the rich equitably. I guess the damned sky would fall in or something...

So excuse the rant and ravings of an old woman. I know I have it better than many others, and I am grateful to be as blessed as I am. But no one should be reduced to fearing for their next meal, no matter what their age; and no one should be scared of losing their house or their medical care, especially when their memory is failing and they have trouble reasoning things out as they once did.

Under the best of circumstances, old age is not for the feint of heart.
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