General Discussion

ljm2002

(10,751 posts)

17. None of us knows how we, personally, would react...

Fri Jul 27, 2012, 07:15 PM

Jul 2012

...to that kind of a situation. We all hope we'd be heroes, and we hope we would not act in a way that appears cowardly. But we can't know how we would really react until the situation arises.

It can be just a purely physiological reaction. Who knows, maybe a bullet whizzed by so close that it just triggered a flight reaction that he was not even consciously aware of.

In any case, he was a victim, not a perpetrator. I wish people would not pile on like they appear to be doing. I'm sure he already has enough survivor's guilt. Or maybe not -- who knows. But he does not appear to be a bad guy. So maybe he's a coward. For most of us, our acts that we may not be proud of are known only to us or just a few other people. For him, now everyone knows what he did and it appears everyone feels free to weigh in.

Geez, just leave him alone.

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Man left (wounded) fiance & kids at Aurora theater and drove away. Web is beating him up. [View all] Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 OP

That article doesn't even mention a young guy who was wounded trying to help this woman LisaL Jul 2012 #1

yeah, but other articles do. Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #3

link to the story of the kid who saved this family Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #9

Not judging him, since everyone has a different reaction in the face of danger Cooley Hurd Jul 2012 #2

I've heard it's situations like this when you find out what you're made of. He was a coward. Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #120

Yes, and you're SUCH a peach. Occulus Jul 2012 #129

Read the definition of "coward." A little education goes a long way. Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #132

He was in a blind panic. Could you relate an instance when you were in a similar situation? TalkingDog Jul 2012 #165

I agree with you, Talking Dog. kurtzapril4 Jul 2012 #182

+1,000,000,000 x 1,000,000,000 - Well put and definitely coalition_unwilling Jul 2012 #242

You know, I wish you are NEVER in any kind of danger nadinbrzezinski Jul 2012 #195

I was with this guy up until the point he put his infant down and ran out of the theater. Drunken Irishman Jul 2012 #4

Actually, I think he threw the baby aside...from what I heard. Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #5

Yikes...I understand panic, but yikes. Drunken Irishman Jul 2012 #8

Actually the worst part of this story is that he proposed to her malaise Jul 2012 #78

That says a lot about the dynamics marlakay Jul 2012 #123

Pathetic. Codeine Jul 2012 #6

Apparently, he wasn't a "wuss." Fawke Em Jul 2012 #69

I stand corrected. Codeine Jul 2012 #71

part pussy part wimp arely staircase Jul 2012 #186

"Wimp" is "imp" with the "woo." Fawke Em Jul 2012 #217

In the face of this kind of male cowardice, whathehell Jul 2012 #227

then limp dick it is nt arely staircase Jul 2012 #228

Fear is powerful. No one can predict "what they would do" Arctic Dave Jul 2012 #7

wise words, dave elehhhhna Jul 2012 #43

No one can predict whether or not they would prove to be a coward. Marr Jul 2012 #96

If that makes you feel better, so be it. Arctic Dave Jul 2012 #98

The man is a scumbag to the nth degree... Missycim Jul 2012 #243

He panicked. HooptieWagon Jul 2012 #10

He drove off. Apparently, she had to call him on the phone before he returned. LisaL Jul 2012 #12

the problem is his driving away and how he came back only when she called him to JI7 Jul 2012 #19

he left his babies to die! sorry, he gets no slack from me. his fiance should dump him. ellenfl Jul 2012 #49

Im sure shes giving him the treatment. HooptieWagon Jul 2012 #53

sorry, i have to disagree. they're HIS KIDS. this says so much about his character . . . ellenfl Jul 2012 #55

The way I read this only the infant was his left is right Jul 2012 #110

Since he was holding his infant, if he just run from the theater with the infant, LisaL Jul 2012 #133

this is what got me magical thyme Jul 2012 #196

Cowardice is not the norm... Mike_Valentine Jul 2012 #62

In his case the flight instinct was stronger. HooptieWagon Jul 2012 #80

I don't think military career would be a good fit for this guy. LisaL Jul 2012 #93

Definately not. Nt HooptieWagon Jul 2012 #95

I'm thinking Neocon national security adviser to Mitt might work for him. CanonRay Jul 2012 #139

I'm thinking GOP chickenhawk. HooptieWagon Jul 2012 #158

I agree... Mike_Valentine Jul 2012 #113

Yes, perhaps norm was a poor choice of word. HooptieWagon Jul 2012 #157

you raise arely staircase Jul 2012 #159

Yes, its a natural instinct for mothers. HooptieWagon Jul 2012 #160

but the driving force arely staircase Jul 2012 #162

I think even the worst of parents would fried eggs Jul 2012 #74

Easy to say when you're not in that position. HooptieWagon Jul 2012 #77

I don't think anyone here suggested that he should be somehow punished. LisaL Jul 2012 #92

Well, the OP said he was getting a beating on the web, HooptieWagon Jul 2012 #97

He found out just who he is at his core. He found out that he is a coward. Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #121

My own feelings echo yours. dixiegrrrrl Jul 2012 #161

Yeah, and I'm sure his child, when old enough Le Taz Hot Jul 2012 #99

Did you read 1984? HooptieWagon Jul 2012 #106

Video clip of dude running away alcibiades_mystery Jul 2012 #11

Yeah, it was a Costanza thing to do...BUT, not all of us rise to the occasion TwilightGardener Jul 2012 #18

there was this same video on youtube with subject "jamie rohrs" exclusive footage JI7 Jul 2012 #20

That's hilarious. LisaL Jul 2012 #21

not sure what I would do under the circumstances Whisp Jul 2012 #13

I'M think it should read ex-fiance. sarcasmo Jul 2012 #14

he asked her to marry him after all of this happened at the hospital JI7 Jul 2012 #23

That much stress and fear, it's easy to do stupid shit REP Jul 2012 #15

Yeah...I was once so preoccupied that I pulled into a supermarket parking lot TwilightGardener Jul 2012 #22

It's kind of terrifying to realize what you've done, too (at least for me it is) REP Jul 2012 #40

HE LEFT HIS KIDS! eom ellenfl Jul 2012 #50

But he put his baby down and left him. How could anyone do that "stupid shit"? pnwmom Jul 2012 #116

And it's his son. LisaL Jul 2012 #138

I hope neither one of us are in that sort of situation to find out first-hand exactly what we'd do REP Jul 2012 #223

the GUy is a Loser, not because he ran out but because he even drove away JI7 Jul 2012 #16

It's interesting Dash87 Jul 2012 #148

Says a lot about human nature, that. redqueen Jul 2012 #230

None of us knows how we, personally, would react... ljm2002 Jul 2012 #17

it's not him leaving the danger zone, but him driving home and how she had to call him JI7 Jul 2012 #25

Yes it was not a shining moment... ljm2002 Jul 2012 #86

He could have been in shock. n/t kurtzapril4 Jul 2012 #190

Yes, that's very possible... ljm2002 Jul 2012 #213

Once he was out cops were there marlakay Jul 2012 #137

The worst part, IMHO, was putting his baby boy on the floor and abandoning him pnwmom Jul 2012 #172

Since he is the one who gave interviews and told this story, why exactly should he be left alone? LisaL Jul 2012 #26

True, he's out there giving interviews... ljm2002 Jul 2012 #85

It's his KID laundry_queen Jul 2012 #30

Yes it's his kid... ljm2002 Jul 2012 #84

I really don't think that prtecting one's child is atypical. LisaL Jul 2012 #237

Yeah, well if I reacted the way he did NYC Liberal Jul 2012 #101

He seemed surprisingly unconcerned about it... ljm2002 Jul 2012 #141

He wouldn't have had to be heroic to keep holding the baby he was holding pnwmom Jul 2012 #117

Yes, that is very true... ljm2002 Jul 2012 #140

Yes, it was a gut reaction. His survival instincts kicked in. Now he knows: he's a coward at hiscore Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #124

Again, I am not saying he did not act in a cowardly fashion... ljm2002 Jul 2012 #143

this is what happens when you have a culture of emasculation datasuspect Jul 2012 #233

i do - but i have situational awareness and extensive urban combat training. datasuspect Jul 2012 #232

is it emasculation or is it self absorption? newspeak Jul 2012 #234

i already conceded your point datasuspect Jul 2012 #235

Tempted to say something, but I also haven't been shot at before. (nt) Posteritatis Jul 2012 #24

Coward!!!! Cali_Democrat Jul 2012 #27

If its fair for me to say that some people were brave then I think I can say he was cowardly. aikoaiko Jul 2012 #28

We are all different HockeyMom Jul 2012 #31

Well we know what he did, though. LisaL Jul 2012 #90

Is this the guy who proposed to his fianc� after they went to the hospital? Gin Jul 2012 #29

yes, it's that one JI7 Jul 2012 #33

Geez....he was crying and sobbing..... Gin Jul 2012 #39

yes. he ran from theater. Another guy saved his family. He returned and proposed. Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #38

Of course he left. It's what the Republican Party taught him. Scuba Jul 2012 #32

Well, looks like that relationship is finished. nt valerief Jul 2012 #34

Last I hears she plans to marry him, since she accepted his proposal. LisaL Jul 2012 #36

no. They are now engaged. Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #37

Two reactions: I have pity for him personally, but I like the public condemnation... reformist2 Jul 2012 #35

There was plenty of pressure in days past in one's own community. We don't need THIS. Zalatix Jul 2012 #56

You can pick a pResident, klook Jul 2012 #65

Great point... Mike_Valentine Jul 2012 #114

Absurd. There are no "cowards" in a firefight. Robb Jul 2012 #41

Is running away while leaving an infant behind normal? LisaL Jul 2012 #42

Depends on how romantic your view on humanity is. Robb Jul 2012 #45

I think she is not getting more praise because people expect that a parent will try to save LisaL Jul 2012 #46

People do expect that, I agree. Robb Jul 2012 #47

As a guy with attention deficit caseymoz Jul 2012 #83

A coward puts his baby on the floor to die so he can save himself. Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #125

Would you like us all to say what we think of YOU now? Occulus Jul 2012 #131

Coward: a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc. Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #134

Coward is not a presentation of facts. caseymoz Jul 2012 #180

I understand that no one really knows exactly what they'd do... liberalmuse Jul 2012 #44

i thought him not mentioning the guy who did help save his girlfriend and kids JI7 Jul 2012 #48

When I lived in Hollywood in the late '70's kurtzapril4 Jul 2012 #197

When I was a kid, my mom left us swimming with a shark. Bonobo Jul 2012 #51

Let's talk about the Internets-that-never-forget, can we? Zalatix Jul 2012 #54

If you want to keep your mistakes private, it might help if you don't give interviews describing LisaL Jul 2012 #58

I believe he was caught on video. Zalatix Jul 2012 #60

What video? LisaL Jul 2012 #66

I am 100% sure that I would not leave my kids in an ocean if a shark was spotted. Bonobo Jul 2012 #64

The fact that other people might have reacted the same way doesn't make it NOT cowardly. Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #187

I can't judge him. Ilsa Jul 2012 #52

There is only ONE villain in this story (and it's not this guy) Tom Ripley Jul 2012 #57

Obviously he was in shock Generic Brad Jul 2012 #59

Not going to judge him, not until I am in his shoes. People are wired differently. sabrina 1 Jul 2012 #61

When I've been in this guy's shoes, I will feel qualified to judge him Downtown Hound Jul 2012 #63

And sometimes, a person whose arm is blown off will pick it up and attempt to stick it back on. Poll_Blind Jul 2012 #67

I didn't realize DU had so many heroes... n/t cherokeeprogressive Jul 2012 #68

I'm conflicted over whether this guy deserves the scorn he's getting. Zalatix Jul 2012 #102

Or so many "perfect" parents. kentauros Jul 2012 #105

Nobody knows how they'll react to when the shit hits the fan till it actually does. Kaleva Jul 2012 #70

But this guy now does! LisaL Jul 2012 #72

Society expects the man to sacrifice himself in order to defend others. Kaleva Jul 2012 #79

Three men reportedly did just that during the massacre. LisaL Jul 2012 #82

Society expects Parents to Sacrifice for children, he threw his baby aside JI7 Jul 2012 #94

Yup, everyone's quick to judge. Zalatix Jul 2012 #103

Again, if you don't want your issues to be aired in front of the world, don't go on TV LisaL Jul 2012 #136

You seem to be really adamant about this. Zalatix Jul 2012 #198

When somebody tries to make it personal, I assume it's because they can't argue any other way. LisaL Jul 2012 #202

It looks like you're the one making it personal. Zalatix Jul 2012 #210

Yep. Easy to be heroic sitting behind a keyboard. HooptieWagon Jul 2012 #81

That guy deserves the Congressional Medal of Dishonor (nt) Nye Bevan Jul 2012 #73

What a cowardly thing to do. Alduin Jul 2012 #75

Count down to "former" fiancee... 5,4,3,2,1 jaysunb Jul 2012 #76

Leave your kid? Yeah former if she has any sense. lonestarnot Jul 2012 #87

Well flight or fight def kicked in for him.. I can't judge nadine_mn Jul 2012 #88

More powerful in some than others. LisaL Jul 2012 #89

FYI--I found a post on HuffPo about a fundraising site for the young hero: tblue37 Jul 2012 #91

Who is he? George Costanza? Initech Jul 2012 #100

For all the idiots here cutting this guy some slack, I give you the wisdom of Chris Rock NickB79 Jul 2012 #104

Um, yeah, I love Chris Rock too Downtown Hound Jul 2012 #107

"I take care of my kids. You're supposed to, ya dumb motherfucker!" NickB79 Jul 2012 #108

Is it really necessary to call people names? n/t kurtzapril4 Jul 2012 #201

Calling DUers who disagree with you 'idiots'? That's against DU rules. Zalatix Jul 2012 #221

I hold no judgement of him. I cannot imagine what it must have been like in that theater. FedUpWithIt All Jul 2012 #109

he panicked. barbtries Jul 2012 #111

That is the definition of cowardice. Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #126

i never said it was okay. barbtries Jul 2012 #167

I haven't seen anyone suggesting he should be brought up on any charges. LisaL Jul 2012 #177

I have no idea what I would do under these circumstances, Are_grits_groceries Jul 2012 #112

That YOU may have done the same thing doesn't make it not cowardly. Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #127

I may or may not have done the same thing. Are_grits_groceries Jul 2012 #153

I don't know why you need your own definition. Just read the one in the dictionary. LisaL Jul 2012 #173

Until bullets are flying,no one knows how they will act. Swede Jul 2012 #115

Some behave cowardly. alphafemale Jul 2012 #118

True. Some seem to think that if they had done the same thing, that makes it not cowardly. Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #128

It is what coward means. Dropping a baby to save your own hide is disgusting. alphafemale Jul 2012 #144

wow...the sheer number of people on this thread giving this guy a pass ProdigalJunkMail Jul 2012 #119

I thought the same thing. People think that if they had done that, that would make it okay. Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #130

Who said it was okay? Who said leaving a baby in a crowded theatre full of gunfire was OKAY? TalkingDog Jul 2012 #206

It goes w/o saying he was in panic mode, just like everyone else. That's another way of trying Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #207

I agree. Alduin Jul 2012 #149

Thank you! I totally agree!! Carolina Jul 2012 #151

Kids that age at that movie at that time? FreeJoe Jul 2012 #122

thunk alphafemale Jul 2012 #154

NO Sherman A1 Jul 2012 #203

Panic is a motherfucker. Iggo Jul 2012 #135

I think you put it best Iggo. None of us know what we would do in a panic. I would sure hope southernyankeebelle Jul 2012 #142

We might not know what somebody else would do, but we know what this guy did. LisaL Jul 2012 #145

Yes your right. So what does that do? What is going to change for him? He already feels terrible southernyankeebelle Jul 2012 #193

That woman isn't married to him yet. LisaL Jul 2012 #200

No discuss all you want. I don't care. All am saying it isn't going to change what happened. southernyankeebelle Jul 2012 #204

Ya know what is REALLY disgusting? 99Forever Jul 2012 #146

Well, yes, until one is in danger, one is not going to find if he or she has courage or not. LisaL Jul 2012 #147

Precisely. 99Forever Jul 2012 #150

yes, fight or flight is the most basic of human responses but Carolina Jul 2012 #152

Were you there? 99Forever Jul 2012 #164

His was holding his infant. He put the infant down and escaped. LisaL Jul 2012 #171

I expect people to... 99Forever Jul 2012 #185

Did ANYONE else at the theatere throw down their babies to be trompled on, and run for the hills? Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #192

Another... 99Forever Jul 2012 #199

no, but I have had a baby and Carolina Jul 2012 #224

Says it all: 99Forever Jul 2012 #226

Cowardice: Failing to have courage in a dangerous situation. If a lot of people acted that way... Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #183

You say... 99Forever Jul 2012 #188

+100,000. I'd hope that I don't panic when shit happens. Zalatix Jul 2012 #222

They are trying to convince themselves this would never happen to them treestar Jul 2012 #218

Well, if we are going with psychoanalysis. And what would be reasons for defending the guy? LisaL Jul 2012 #229

A realization that humans are flawed treestar Jul 2012 #236

In my view, "the most heroic" thing would be go wrestle the gunman, or start saving strangers. LisaL Jul 2012 #240

You're moving a goal post treestar Jul 2012 #244

It's called panic - and it's probably driven by Adrenalin. hedgehog Jul 2012 #155

hmmm arely staircase Jul 2012 #156

um. two kids under 5 yo in a theatre after midnight? or did we already have that flame-fest? KG Jul 2012 #163

Sounds like both parents make poor decisions. eilen Jul 2012 #166

or get a baby-sitter if they really wanted to see the movie now. spooky3 Jul 2012 #169

The mother did manage to save both her kids, while getting wounded. LisaL Jul 2012 #178

Their mother appears to be quite brave. She didn't run out of the theater without her children. LisaL Jul 2012 #179

that was exactly my question. spooky3 Jul 2012 #168

yeah, one cable news has so many comments about the approprietness of two babies Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #231

Brave Sir Robin... EX500rider Jul 2012 #170

" felt remorse and a bit of self-loathing " leave him alone. is my answer. i am sorry we have the seabeyond Jul 2012 #174

Again, if someone wants to be left alone, it's not a good idea to go on TV and give interviews. LisaL Jul 2012 #181

i dont feel the need.... to beat him up. i have never been much into the bullying seabeyond Jul 2012 #184

To call out something for what it is, is not bullying. Bullying is picking on an innocent victim... Honeycombe8 Jul 2012 #189

If you go on TV and give interviews, you should expect that people will discuss it. LisaL Jul 2012 #191

This is an opportunity for everyone who HASN'T been in that situation to feel self-righteous. Zalatix Jul 2012 #241

personally, i find it disgusting and endemic of who we have become seabeyond Jul 2012 #245

At least he turned back tawadi Jul 2012 #175

He drove away and she had to call him before he turned back. LisaL Jul 2012 #176

Won't judge nadinbrzezinski Jul 2012 #194

+1 (nt) NYC_SKP Jul 2012 #238

So, in who's interest is it to take a victim... 99Forever Jul 2012 #205

the Guy is a MEdia Whore which is the problem , and the fake crying all the time JI7 Jul 2012 #209

Yeah right. 99Forever Jul 2012 #219

Sorry but this dude is a total punk. MrSlayer Jul 2012 #208

I hope that his fiancee is now his former fiancee. Beacool Jul 2012 #211

He actually proposed to her after the shooting. And she accepted. LisaL Jul 2012 #214

Wow tawadi Jul 2012 #215

Then she's a fool. Beacool Jul 2012 #216

. boston bean Jul 2012 #212

I know how I'd likely react nadinbrzezinski Jul 2012 #220

I understand. Beacool Jul 2012 #225

I dub him 'Sir Robin' Cherchez la Femme Jul 2012 #239