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llmart

(17,477 posts)

116. I've had an epiphany after reading this thread.

Sun Aug 26, 2018, 05:57 PM

Aug 2018

I will no longer go to a funeral and say to the grieving family, "I am so sorry he kicked the bucket."

Just kidding. I prefer to use the word "died". I'm not religious so passed away or passed on or went to be with his heavenly father, blah, blah, just wouldn't sound right coming out of my mouth.

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"Passed". "Passed away". "Passed on". When did it become verboten to say 'died"? [View all] Aristus Aug 2018 OP

Transitioned? HipChick Aug 2018 #1

Meh. Aristus Aug 2018 #2

My problem is a lot of these terms are tied up in religious connations.. HipChick Aug 2018 #7

I agree with you. Aristus Aug 2018 #12

Heaven forbid there be any religious connotations. Sneederbunk Aug 2018 #24

It implies no such thing. Voltaire2 Aug 2018 #66

I've always preferred "croaked." LastLiberal in PalmSprings Aug 2018 #78

Expired.. never thought of that one, but I think I like it... pangaia Aug 2018 #26

Isn't expired the medical term? LeftInTX Aug 2018 #88

Caribbean death columns are full of that one malaise Aug 2018 #10

Maybe it shouldn't , but that cracked me up. pangaia Aug 2018 #27

The only way to enjoy life is to laugh at its end malaise Aug 2018 #50

Exactly....we are only here for a short time... HipChick Aug 2018 #80

Trees live longer than humans malaise Aug 2018 #84

expired.... dispensable..... what's next?? pangaia Aug 2018 #97

Right, and I see like 1hr long mass obituaries on TV... HipChick Aug 2018 #43

All repeating the same BS malaise Aug 2018 #51

lmao! That reminds me of the time I attended a funeral... HipChick Aug 2018 #67

Bwaaaaaaah malaise Aug 2018 #70

Sometimes it's hard for people who have experienced the pain of losing... brush Aug 2018 #105

I disagree malaise Aug 2018 #108

That's fine. You use what you like, others will use what they want. brush Aug 2018 #112

A relative of mine "entered into spirit life" in 1877 in Providence, RI. Mariana Aug 2018 #106

LOL malaise Aug 2018 #111

Transitioned? You mean transitioned from living to dead? Mariana Aug 2018 #11

Just checked today's Sunday paper malaise Aug 2018 #63

We hide behind a lot of words SCantiGOP Aug 2018 #3

I don't consider those "cutesy eupemisms." They've been used a very long time, and highplainsdem Aug 2018 #4

That's certainly a valid point. Aristus Aug 2018 #9

Instead of setting her up with Ilsa Aug 2018 #40

Exactly. Blue_Roses Aug 2018 #134

"The doctor who wrote that book sounds to me like a bully" mitch96 Aug 2018 #49

No the doctor is not a bully. Nurses are taught technical/medical/legal terms for death... LeftInTX Aug 2018 #95

This RhodeIslandOne Aug 2018 #145

I find the American love of euphemism to be weird and creepy, honestly. Spider Jerusalem Aug 2018 #5

You may be right about the USA's religiosity. Mariana Aug 2018 #15

Yup zipplewrath Aug 2018 #159

"religiosity.".. that's exactly what it is... pangaia Aug 2018 #28

maybe they were a kidney stone in the body politic....... lastlib Aug 2018 #124

Well, then my education about all things British, courtesy of Monty Python, Ltd., has led me astray. sl8 Aug 2018 #31

Legitimate news in the US generally uses DIED. SharonClark Aug 2018 #32

I don't think it's religious.... LeftInTX Aug 2018 #91

I prefer passed SteveMO Aug 2018 #6

Where else? malaise Aug 2018 #143

Not everyone is an atheist SteveMO Aug 2018 #157

True malaise Aug 2018 #158

+1,000 malaise Aug 2018 #8

I prefer the word "died" as well. But when grieving, others may need a softer word... NurseJackie Aug 2018 #13

Let's just say, "She's at the rainbow bridge"? Laffy Kat Aug 2018 #127

Well said! Blue_Roses Aug 2018 #135

Obituaries aren't coroner reports, they are closer to a celebration of the person's spirit Donkees Aug 2018 #14

And the information comes from the bereaved, as well. Rhiannon12866 Aug 2018 #125

In addition, visual language and imagery taps into the healing imagination where hope resides. Donkees Aug 2018 #138

It certainly does. Rhiannon12866 Aug 2018 #139

Seriously! When did people start getting emotional about people dying? kcr Aug 2018 #16

+1 Coventina Aug 2018 #23

I believe George Carlin talked about the passivity of the term. theaocp Aug 2018 #17

I addressed 'expired' in a reply above. Aristus Aug 2018 #18

"Passed" is a christian euphemism; passing on to their belief in a supernatural realm. procon Aug 2018 #19

I'm a Christian, and I agree with you. Aristus Aug 2018 #20

What is the soul? pangaia Aug 2018 #35

Can't hold onto a nebulous belief in the concept of a spiritual soul. procon Aug 2018 #99

You beat me to it. It's a religious phrasing. And some non-religious use it because... Garrett78 Aug 2018 #77

My FIL died recently, and he wasn't religious. Mariana Aug 2018 #107

Yep. It's an odd quirk ingrained in our society. Garrett78 Aug 2018 #109

I Had A Similar RobinA Aug 2018 #142

Some downthread think it's "unfeeling" to say that someone died. Mariana Aug 2018 #160

If you believe in re-incarnation. .. You could say s/he is being recycled. Le Gaucher Aug 2018 #122

I got a call in the middle of the night telling me my patient in a nursing home "expired" Hassin Bin Sober Aug 2018 #21

Oh dear! MontanaMama Aug 2018 #29

I only ever called back once. Hassin Bin Sober Aug 2018 #37

LOL, you win Rorey Aug 2018 #54

That's what happens to cereal past its 'use by' date........ lastlib Aug 2018 #123

When my dad "passed" Peachhead22 Aug 2018 #22

Now I'm not going to know WHAT to say. Rorey Aug 2018 #56

It's more like annoying. I prefer direct, no-nonsense science in a medical report from one Aristus Aug 2018 #87

The older I get Rorey Aug 2018 #94

I Think In General RobinA Aug 2018 #146

Absolutely agree Rorey Aug 2018 #154

Well last month, 31 July 2018, my GWC58 Aug 2018 #126

I'm so sorry for your loss, GWC58. Lars39 Aug 2018 #161

Thank you GWC58 Aug 2018 #166

Makes for hard times, but you're among friends. Lars39 Aug 2018 #167

Yes! GWC58 Aug 2018 #169

Sorry for your loss Peachhead22 Aug 2018 #165

We are a death denying society backtoblue Aug 2018 #25

I say "died." However, when speaking to those who are grieving, I MineralMan Aug 2018 #33

I agree, was adding to my post when you responded backtoblue Aug 2018 #34

Thanks. MineralMan Aug 2018 #38

Interesting thought on this. Oneironaut Aug 2018 #164

I believe the proper saying is gtar100 Aug 2018 #30

LOL, you win too! Rorey Aug 2018 #57

I can handle "passed" better than I can "they slept together" SharonClark Aug 2018 #36

The sleeping part Rorey Aug 2018 #59

Sorry but I must quote Monty Python bronxiteforever Aug 2018 #39

lol oasis Aug 2018 #64

Speaking of Monty Python...John Cleese moderated a forum on life after death a few months ago: highplainsdem Aug 2018 #65

Cool and thanks! Bookmarking for listening tonite! bronxiteforever Aug 2018 #69

omg Pining for the Fjords......thank you for the reminder peekaloo Aug 2018 #119

They were brilliant. bronxiteforever Aug 2018 #141

Depends on the person, depends on the circumstances ismnotwasm Aug 2018 #41

I share your peeve. GoCubsGo Aug 2018 #42

Some of these terms may be spiritual, but not religious, Ilsa Aug 2018 #44

Inhumed? Off to the Great Beyond? Let people express themselves. Hekate Aug 2018 #45

Maybe around the time toilets became "rest rooms?" DFW Aug 2018 #46

If I need to excuse myself to pee Rorey Aug 2018 #60

Recently In London RobinA Aug 2018 #149

Actually, most European countries just use the word toilet in one form or another DFW Aug 2018 #153

People use the term that gives them the most comfort. Siwsan Aug 2018 #47

The power of language. "Dead" is blunt, unfeeling and specific only to the body. nolabear Aug 2018 #48

I agree. I am not religious but I am sensitive to the power of language. smirkymonkey Aug 2018 #58

I was in insurance and financial services. gibraltar72 Aug 2018 #52

And why call it "life insurance" anyway? Rorey Aug 2018 #62

Short answer people wouldn't buy death insurance. gibraltar72 Aug 2018 #86

Have you not noticed that here on DU pet owners commonly post PoindexterOglethorpe Aug 2018 #53

This is why: highplainsdem Aug 2018 #61

Odd? I find it hilarious. Voltaire2 Aug 2018 #68

Better than other terms sarah FAILIN Aug 2018 #55

Bought the farm? lillypaddle Aug 2018 #71

I prefer: Transition MagickMuffin Aug 2018 #72

When my father died several years ago... SeattleVet Aug 2018 #73

They went to the great thesaurus in the sky. dameatball Aug 2018 #74

Moved on, took retirement, left the theater gulliver Aug 2018 #75

Agree apcalc Aug 2018 #76

The usages date back centuries muriel_volestrangler Aug 2018 #79

Shakespeare and Chaucer were poets. Aristus Aug 2018 #90

When somebody in your family is dying, the word death is never far from your mind planetc Aug 2018 #81

My parents were Canadian... ailsagirl Aug 2018 #82

The doctor you quoted sounds like an former doctor of mine Jake Stern Aug 2018 #83

The doctor is writing about what a nurse is saying in professional setting LeftInTX Aug 2018 #96

"The patient died" is hardly medical jargon. nt. Mariana Aug 2018 #168

I used to see or hear "Time of death" LeftInTX Aug 2018 #171

Have you ever "put down" a pet or did you execute it? Kaleva Aug 2018 #85

i killed 'em Hermit-The-Prog Aug 2018 #117

It may sound Victorian, but to me those terms seem less harsh. NT raccoon Aug 2018 #89

Those are nothing compared to some I've heard. Initech Aug 2018 #92

I'm reading a lot of valid and interesting opinions. And I'm glad so many have weighed in on this. Aristus Aug 2018 #93

So... RobinA Aug 2018 #150

People who just experienced the loss of a loved one fescuerescue Aug 2018 #98

This wasn't a conversation between a provider and a patient's family. Aristus Aug 2018 #101

strange that two medical providers fescuerescue Aug 2018 #136

I think the doctor in question simply wanted to head off any bad habits. Aristus Aug 2018 #155

Yea that's fine fescuerescue Aug 2018 #162

Dropped the flesh. Equinox Moon Aug 2018 #100

Ewww StarryNite Aug 2018 #131

Personally I think passed is the right word kimbutgar Aug 2018 #102

I can relate. StarryNite Aug 2018 #132

One person's "cutesy euphemism" is another person's "not being an insensitive prick" nt Rob H. Aug 2018 #103

I see multiple headlines using "dies" and not "passes away" oberliner Aug 2018 #104

My use of the term "croaked" will raise an eyebrow from time to time. WheelWalker Aug 2018 #110

Reminds me of the movie Patch Adams backtoblue Aug 2018 #113

+ 1 million. MBS Aug 2018 #114

Incredibly small stuff. I just can't be concerned. WillowTree Aug 2018 #115

I've had an epiphany after reading this thread. llmart Aug 2018 #116

"Crotch crickets" is still acceptable clinical terminology, though, right? n/t sl8 Aug 2018 #118

I use it all the time... Aristus Aug 2018 #120

"Bought the Big Ticket"? lastlib Aug 2018 #121

For a truly great collection of euphemisms, see The Parrot Sketch. Crunchy Frog Aug 2018 #128

Amen! Jane Austin Aug 2018 #129

It's always been that way more or less, Raine Aug 2018 #130

Well ... area51 Aug 2018 #133

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World... Mike Nelson Aug 2018 #137

Expired is the correct medical term LeftInTX Aug 2018 #173

Look on the bright side: when you yourself die stopbush Aug 2018 #140

Passed away is fine RhodeIslandOne Aug 2018 #144

Get on board the "One Word, One Meaning" wagon LanternWaste Aug 2018 #147

I seem to be able to figure each one of them out. NCTraveler Aug 2018 #148

This is nothing new. MicaelS Aug 2018 #151

When my mom died, one of my daughters daycare workers said "She passed through the veil". woodsprite Aug 2018 #152

Years ago I worked in a bank in a predominantly leftyladyfrommo Aug 2018 #156

B/c people often use euphemisms for things that make them uncomfortable. Oneironaut Aug 2018 #163

I was phonebanking last month LeftInTX Aug 2018 #170

I prefer saying "ventured into the shadow realm". nt Jamaal510 Aug 2018 #172

It's a euphemism ailsagirl Dec 2020 #174

I have DU friends in the real world. Aristus Dec 2020 #175

I don't know where I found this thread ailsagirl Dec 2020 #176