General Discussion

violetpastille

(1,483 posts)

36. Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Wed Oct 3, 2018, 10:47 AM

Oct 2018

First a big hug. (No hug emoji?)

i am estranged from my parents and have been for years. My mother is a racist and my father has Bannon-like fascistic beliefs.

These attitudes don't have a hard stop when it comes to me. They think that I'm "less than" they are as well. Political differences being one reason.

Abusive people have abusive politics, ime.

They have found another family to inhabit and love so they don't have to face the mess. They "adopted" one of my cousins.
I had to go through all the stages of grief, and I won't do it again. i had to bury them, emotionally. It is truly over.

Something to consider:
If your brother treats you halfway decently, there is hope.
If he treats you like shit because he thinks you are "inferior", cut bait.

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I just alerted my brother I will no longer talk to him. [View all] Goodheart Oct 2018 OP

My sister and I no longer speak for that same reason. nt zanana1 Oct 2018 #1

Trump and his cadre of have succeeded in driving the nation into hopeless division. olegramps Oct 2018 #46

He has revealed who they are. nt Duppers Oct 2018 #102

Beautifully written. kag Oct 2018 #104

it is important to remember, our degradation is from REPUBLICANS. CharleyDog Oct 2018 #113

I'm going to disagree slightly FakeNoose Oct 2018 #127

Far too few krkaufman Oct 2018 #147

We were in this place way before the Orange Turd. MadDAsHell Oct 2018 #131

I very much agree. As Obama reflected that Trump is the result, the symptom not the exception. olegramps Oct 2018 #159

Life is too short to be dealing with such ignorance. OnDoutside Oct 2018 #2

im no longer speaking to my t party sis... samnsara Oct 2018 #3

Brother against brother. Another Civil War is not out of the question if things get worse. Funtatlaguy Oct 2018 #4

I think it's inevitable The Liberal Lion Oct 2018 #47

Except DownriverDem Oct 2018 #62

This. CrispyQ Oct 2018 #76

2016 map jdoyle1x1 Oct 2018 #105

is this real? highmindedhavi Oct 2018 #116

It's real, but deceptive . .,, reACTIONary Oct 2018 #143

Great point. I've seen maps with klook Oct 2018 #146

the map is very much on point in light of electoral college AlexSFCA Oct 2018 #150

Maybe, but they're still the minority. John Fante Oct 2018 #151

Not really . ... reACTIONary Oct 2018 #158

I couldn't have been more wrong. CrispyQ Oct 2018 #121

You've figured out the difference between common and rare, yes? LanternWaste Oct 2018 #122

election maps based on population not area spike jones Oct 2018 #125

I also like the vertical ones. Pope George Ringo II Oct 2018 #130

The very low voter turnout was a factor. CentralMass Oct 2018 #129

Welcome to DU, jdoyle1x1. calimary Oct 2018 #148

yes, most of the higher populated cities within Red States can be VERY Blue JI7 Oct 2018 #156

IMHO Civil War II has already begun. CaptainTruth Oct 2018 #64

And that IS the Truth, Captain. dchill Oct 2018 #144

It IS developing into a latter-day Civil War. calimary Oct 2018 #69

I've never seen it this divided either. Ligyron Oct 2018 #83

Agreed customerserviceguy Oct 2018 #110

Didn't Alex Jones say the left would start a civil war this past July 4th? OnlinePoker Oct 2018 #81

Project and reverse Ellen Forradalom Oct 2018 #112

Good article in NY Times about this. BigmanPigman Oct 2018 #141

Hey, there's nothing wrong with making a thread. Zing Zing Zingbah Oct 2018 #5

Every day feels like a nightmare to me. Goodheart Oct 2018 #6

You are absolutely right. Ligyron Oct 2018 #86

Maybe true.. Zing Zing Zingbah Oct 2018 #88

Oh, I'd be the very first to welcome them back to sanity if it happened. Ligyron Oct 2018 #91

Yeah, the first type you mentioned is much easier to deal with Zing Zing Zingbah Oct 2018 #97

I'm not the DU Grand Poobah but I encourage you to post what you want. DemocratSinceBirth Oct 2018 #7

You might want to amend your thinking on that vlyons Oct 2018 #8

Sometimes for your own health, you need to back away from a person mythology Oct 2018 #29

Julia Sweeney's dad refused to speak a word to her because... kiri Oct 2018 #78

Yeah, I was saying the same thing Zing Zing Zingbah Oct 2018 #32

My sister went off the rails about 10 years ago with the tea party. pazzyanne Oct 2018 #63

My brother is the same way. Staying away is best for your well-being. nt SunSeeker Oct 2018 #9

This is common now sarah FAILIN Oct 2018 #10

I don't think trump should split siblings... SimpleC Oct 2018 #11

Yeah, maybe the people that seem to follow fads in general are more susceptible to Trump. n/t Zing Zing Zingbah Oct 2018 #162

That's sad. greytdemocrat Oct 2018 #12

You need understanding and someone to listen to you tymorial Oct 2018 #13

My Brother-in-Law Turbineguy Oct 2018 #14

Yours sounds like my family in a way. hostalover Oct 2018 #82

Faux Bot lpbk2713 Oct 2018 #15

Good. (nt) Paladin Oct 2018 #16

maxim: qui tacet consentit [silence gives consent] RestoreAmerica2020 Oct 2018 #17

Politics is absolutely no reason to sever ties with your brother. That's a lazy response. jpljr77 Oct 2018 #18

Of Course It Is ProfessorGAC Oct 2018 #21

My grandfather told me: God gives you your relatives, you pick your friends. olegramps Oct 2018 #50

Your grandfather is a wise man. Thanks for sharing this saying. I love it. NT SWBTATTReg Oct 2018 #74

Good luck with that line of "reasoning"... Wounded Bear Oct 2018 #22

This stuff can be very bad for your health BeyondGeography Oct 2018 #33

What a toxic response Boomer Oct 2018 #43

+1,000,000. n/t Different Drummer Oct 2018 #92

In normal times you would be right The Liberal Lion Oct 2018 #52

True Oppaloopa Oct 2018 #66

Sharing DNA doesn't mean we have to tolearate them when they cross a line nini Oct 2018 #71

Man i can certainly relate to your problem!! bluestarone Oct 2018 #19

My list is longer than I would like angrychair Oct 2018 #20

I feel sorry for both of you. pintobean Oct 2018 #23

Its not politics and its not love GusBob Oct 2018 #79

Putting politics over love? Sure. Goodheart Oct 2018 #95

Politics? You call supporting someone who mocks the disabled politics? You call supporting lunamagica Oct 2018 #103

Don't worry pintobean Oct 2018 #107

Why would I worry? lunamagica Oct 2018 #108

This. nt Atticus Oct 2018 #135

Politics is about morality and values. LuckyLib Oct 2018 #119

I thought that was religion. pintobean Oct 2018 #132

you know people use politics to push their shitty religion like taking away gay rights JI7 Oct 2018 #157

I'm sorry. I have a brother like that, too. GoCubsGo Oct 2018 #24

You know, we all have challenges enough in life to have to worry about our own family ... SWBTATTReg Oct 2018 #25

My sister and I no longer speak either... Moostache Oct 2018 #26

Both of my brothers fall into that category Bettie Oct 2018 #27

OMG that is one scary dad . Stay away lunasun Oct 2018 #154

I've came to believe we can change people only by example.... KY_EnviroGuy Oct 2018 #28

No brother D00ver Oct 2018 #30

In haven't spoken to my brother in years, fox fake news addict and racist elmac Oct 2018 #31

You can't pick your family. Joe Nation Oct 2018 #34

Good for you... had the same issue with my Bushiphile brother after the 2000 election disaster. InAbLuEsTaTe Oct 2018 #35

Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. violetpastille Oct 2018 #36

This one here.... LuckyCharms Oct 2018 #39

It has been 7 years since I've spoken to my siblings. LuckyCharms Oct 2018 #37

So sorry for your family tragedy, having a total ass as a brother. lark Oct 2018 #38

Sometimes family is truly toxic. That is all. nt FromTheAshes Oct 2018 #40

Sometimes a relationship becomes so toxic that for your own health you need to walk away. octoberlib Oct 2018 #41

Support for you! HAB911 Oct 2018 #42

You are not the only one riverbendviewgal Oct 2018 #44

Don't Blame You; Sister in Law Trump Supporter djacq Oct 2018 #45

Same with me and my older brother. We no longer speak. PearliePoo2 Oct 2018 #48

Lines are being drawn Loge23 Oct 2018 #49

I refuse to be withing 1 mile of my brother. sagesnow Oct 2018 #51

Haven't spoken to my brother, my only sibling Heartstrings Oct 2018 #53

I'm lucky, I have no direct blood family members who gave their support to that orange asshole The Liberal Lion Oct 2018 #54

Good for you... Sounds like the right thing to do. Zn/t whathehell Oct 2018 #55

I, long ago, even before Trump, decided to not associate with racists, mysogonists and morons louis c Oct 2018 #56

Welcome to the sad club of folks who have had families & friendships torn apart by that catbyte Oct 2018 #57

Seems to be down to that. backscatter712 Oct 2018 #58

I have cut off all Trumpinistas The Wizard Oct 2018 #59

My sister and I parted company about a year ago. pazzyanne Oct 2018 #60

Me and my twin brother have been estranged jb5150 Oct 2018 #61

I'm sorry that happened but you need to do what's Upthevibe Oct 2018 #65

My brother is a Trumpian and I already know his misogynistic nature for strong professional women, iluvtennis Oct 2018 #67

For the most part, we've cut ties with my brother in law and family mountain grammy Oct 2018 #68

I haven't been talking to my sister since Trump began running and she was "rabid" with me ebbie15644 Oct 2018 #70

No Trumpsters is the only sane policy The Polack MSgt Oct 2018 #72

A story of two uncles and some hope mahina Oct 2018 #73

THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT IRREVERSIBLE! Hortensis Oct 2018 #75

Perhaps Ellen Forradalom Oct 2018 #114

:) No, and guessing he won't change that way. Hortensis Oct 2018 #123

That view is optimistic Ellen Forradalom Oct 2018 #163

I Lost A Very Good Friend Who I Once Respected ChoppinBroccoli Oct 2018 #77

.....So Sorry..... titanicdave Oct 2018 #80

You did what you had to do . . . hatrack Oct 2018 #84

I used to have a friend like that... BlueJac Oct 2018 #85

Actually, it kinda DOES need its own thread. BobTheSubgenius Oct 2018 #87

Some things run deeper than family. Nitram Oct 2018 #89

That's what I've come to know. Goodheart Oct 2018 #93

I haven't reached that point in my family yet. 47of74 Oct 2018 #90

If family members can respect boundaries and just avoid the topics they know will cause each other Nitram Oct 2018 #94

My sister and I still speak - but barely. lillypaddle Oct 2018 #96

Division in my family also HelenWheels Oct 2018 #98

I tell myself that this is what my BROTHER chose. Goodheart Oct 2018 #100

Oh, this needs its own thread. It needs its whole national discussion. LisaM Oct 2018 #99

I'm so sorry. Had my brother said that Duppers Oct 2018 #101

now that's a "presidential alert" alright 0rganism Oct 2018 #106

I no longer talk to my brother Ellen Forradalom Oct 2018 #109

I'm sorry to hear that. sandensea Oct 2018 #111

The re-election of President Obama in 2012 LittleGirl Oct 2018 #115

sorry for your loss trueblue2007 Oct 2018 #117

Your family is not alone. Perhaps the most famous example is Rep. Gosar. Marcuse Oct 2018 #118

It has to be done. Scruffy1 Oct 2018 #120

I'm pretty sure the same thing happened in the Trump famly FakeNoose Oct 2018 #124

I have literally ended dozens of long time friendships over Trump Sqee Oct 2018 #126

I do not blame you one bit CountAllVotes Oct 2018 #128

How do you fight this kind of nastiness? Goodheart Oct 2018 #133

Might wanna stay away from him at least for a while, lest things are said... Honeycombe8 Oct 2018 #134

that's beyond the pale jcsg Oct 2018 #136

Welp... Doubt if it will ever heal... Unfortunately! busterbrown Oct 2018 #137

If you only hear from them when they want something well ... CountAllVotes Oct 2018 #139

really it's not worth the anger and pain..n/t busterbrown Oct 2018 #140

Right CountAllVotes Oct 2018 #152

People used to say "blood is thicker than water..." hay rick Oct 2018 #138

This is very sad Raine Oct 2018 #142

Thank you. So many of us have this dilemma with diabolical words from family members. Prof.Higgins Oct 2018 #145

Trump should be burning in hell for his lies. (Tots & pears) nt Ilsa Oct 2018 #149

I have separated from some family but no trumpers . Anytime it's uncomfortable to the point lunasun Oct 2018 #153

I'm sorry Niagara Oct 2018 #155

I have a brother like that. CousinIT Oct 2018 #160

My husband's extended family except for a couple are trump worshippers nt maryellen99 Oct 2018 #161