I'm Sitting Here Trying to Imagine Trump's Funeral--Any Thoughts?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

13. I have just learned that as soon as a president takes office

plans have to be made for their funeral, which is kinda creepy - but since presidents are entitled to state funerals I suppose that has to be done.

Trump's funeral (which I hope I live to see) will present some interesting challenges, some of which will depend on the results of the Russia investigation. It's possible he will be impeached or resign, and if that happens his funeral will probably be more subdued, like Nixon's. And there's also the likelihood that regardless of how his presidency ends a whole lot of people will be damn glad the mofo is dead.

It's not likely that there will be a big fancy Christian funeral in the National Cathedral, since Trump sets foot in a church only when he absolutely has to, as for weddings and funerals. Otherwise he doesn't go to church and apparently never has. So it would be difficult for the presiding clergy to say anything relating to Trump's religion, which is basically himself.

I can imagine him wanting a funeral that's bigger than any previous funerals - more people, especially more important people. He wouldn't care about any religious ceremony - he'd only want expressions of adoration from masses of people. Whatever's the biggest stadium in the country, he'd want it, and there would have to be a Jumbotron.

Would all of his wives and mistresses attend?