General Discussion

SergeStorms

(20,504 posts)

66. I got married at 27....

Wed Apr 29, 2020, 11:37 AM

Apr 2020

was divorced at 32, and I've never seen a reason to jump back into that trap again. I'm 70 now, and the only miserable days I've had since my divorce have had a woman connected to them. I'm just the type of guy that can't be restrained in any way. I was able to calm my wild side by myself, and if more men exercised a little self-control they could make it without the marriage trap as well.
I do have a daughter with one of the women I became loosely attached to in the early 80s, and I've taken full responsibility for that. She grew up to be a fine young lady, has two Masters Degrees (I paid for every bit of her education), and she's now married with two children. I spoil the heck out of those grandkids, and I've had a wonderful, happy life.

There are exceptions to every rule. I'm one of those men who would never be successfully married. I just hate having the reins pulled in on me, although I've managed to rein myself in pretty good when needed. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I were still married.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

177 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Unmarried Women with No Kids Are the 'Healthiest and Happiest, says expert [View all] CousinIT Apr 2020 OP

But those women get old so there's that. I am getting on in years and regret my mucifer Apr 2020 #1

True. But being miserable for 50 years to not be alone for 20? CousinIT Apr 2020 #2

"Miserable for 50 years" Loki Liesmith Apr 2020 #5

Being that it's the woman/wife who does most of the domestic work & child-rearing CousinIT Apr 2020 #16

Link? HarlanPepper Apr 2020 #27

History. Present. CousinIT Apr 2020 #40

Yeah, that's what I thought. HarlanPepper Apr 2020 #44

Women do more of the household chores Phoenix61 Apr 2020 #56

Boom. cwydro Apr 2020 #119

Thank you. It's common knowledge. Wasn't about to be forced to 'prove' it. CousinIT Apr 2020 #126

You said it's not the norm for men to do housework of ANY KIND which is nonsense HarlanPepper Apr 2020 #177

Even with me as an at-home mom Bettie Apr 2020 #52

Exactly my experience..Married to high school sweetheart for 28 years helpisontheway Apr 2020 #83

That's how we are Bettie Apr 2020 #84

Yea I know there are these exceptions. CousinIT Apr 2020 #128

I also have been happily married for years and have wonderful kids...can't imagine why one would Demsrule86 Apr 2020 #138

I find that I take as much or more responsibility and put in as much or more time and energy coti Apr 2020 #125

to be an old lady with no children gets rough I see the difference as a nurse in what I witness mucifer Apr 2020 #7

Not every "old lady" regrets not having children whathehell Apr 2020 #12

That's the case w/ the ladies I know. CousinIT Apr 2020 #18

Many may also have partners, or are currently dating. n/t. whathehell Apr 2020 #25

Since single women were "allowed" to have sexual relationships without marriage AND maddiemom Apr 2020 #60

I worked in an ad agency around that time Mossfern Apr 2020 #113

Interesting to know! maddiemom Apr 2020 #127

I worked in the advertising dept. and was one of the cutters and pasters. kskiska Apr 2020 #172

"old lady"? Demovictory9 Apr 2020 #37

lol wtaf obamanut2012 Apr 2020 #88

I am happily married and have four wonderful kids...and knowing single women who never had kids... Demsrule86 Apr 2020 #31

Age discrimination is an "issue" whether you're married or not whathehell Apr 2020 #38

I actually worked for most of my life...off work now as I was taking care of my sis in law before Demsrule86 Apr 2020 #140

Then I guess whathehell Apr 2020 #152

lolz wtf are these replies like this? obamanut2012 Apr 2020 #89

The resistance to the idea that single child-free women are, on the whole, really, really happy Squinch Apr 2020 #107

Yup. cwydro Apr 2020 #120

I chose to not have kids I_UndergroundPanther Apr 2020 #133

I think people should do what makes them happy. Not all women or men for that matter are single by Demsrule86 Apr 2020 #143

Plenty of women find happiness the other way as well meadowlander Apr 2020 #147

I wasn't assuming they were lonely. They said so. Well enjoy. I would find your life very Demsrule86 Apr 2020 #150

How very rude and condescending of you. meadowlander Apr 2020 #151

Why do you need to denigrate the life someone else has chosen Squinch Apr 2020 #161

!!! Arazi Apr 2020 #153

And yet this data shows that, on the whole, they are happier than Squinch Apr 2020 #160

Data says different. Data says that, on the whole, they are happier than the rest of the Squinch Apr 2020 #106

This message was self-deleted by its author Skittles Apr 2020 #141

I wish I'd thought of that before getting married. lagomorph777 Apr 2020 #39

Be careful what you wish for! Butterflylady Apr 2020 #49

I was careful about that for a long time. lagomorph777 Apr 2020 #51

I got married at 27.... SergeStorms Apr 2020 #66

Your life is mine in a parallel universe. lagomorph777 Apr 2020 #71

You are as rare as a black swan, if you paid for your daughter's education. Good for you. nt raccoon Apr 2020 #79

Another black swan here, then DFW Apr 2020 #114

oh yes Skittles Apr 2020 #142

Being married and having children doesn't guarantee a woman won't be alone in old age. sarge43 Apr 2020 #47

Especially if she is psychologically abusive and highly unstable misanthrope Apr 2020 #130

..Or especially if he is "psychologically abusive and highly unstable" whathehell Apr 2020 #154

I thought we were talking about a matriarch in solitude misanthrope Apr 2020 #157

What applies to a matriarch can as easily apply to a patriarch. whathehell Apr 2020 #158

FYI - second-guessing and regrets of any type come with the territory of getting older. If you had Kashkakat v.2.0 Apr 2020 #171

I always knew this. Squinch Apr 2020 #3

Lol! Lucky you! KPN Apr 2020 #58

No regrets till they hit 45, find themselves all alone and that money isn't everything to life? Baclava Apr 2020 #4

Hmm...I know women well beyond that age who are unmarried, no kids and... CousinIT Apr 2020 #10

Not having a husband doesn't make you "all alone" JenniferJuniper Apr 2020 #13

Personally, I would rather die then end up in an assisted living facility or nursing home. Demsrule86 Apr 2020 #32

Have you been to an assisted living facility lately? JenniferJuniper Apr 2020 #33

Those nice assisted living places with apartments and such are very expensive, at least here Marrah_Goodman Apr 2020 #73

They are super expensive, JenniferJuniper Apr 2020 #85

Do you mind if I ask which one? Marrah_Goodman Apr 2020 #102

Sure JenniferJuniper Apr 2020 #108

Boston is very expressive, period. whathehell Apr 2020 #155

Yes, I know Marrah_Goodman Apr 2020 #166

I like the city, but whathehell Apr 2020 #176

Yes my sis in law is in one...it is fine I guess, but not for me. Demsrule86 Apr 2020 #134

Lots of married and widowed ladies in those places. Squinch Apr 2020 #109

And? I do not wish to be taken care of. My sis in law is in one and honestly, they give me the Demsrule86 Apr 2020 #135

No one wants to be "taken care of" JenniferJuniper Apr 2020 #145

What a blind response. Jirel Apr 2020 #14

True. CousinIT Apr 2020 #21

This guy is just pimping his books, junk science at that, and "I've never read a novel in my life" Baclava Apr 2020 #23

Some people with kids like to project I've noticed. HarlanPepper Apr 2020 #30

Thank YOU! smirkymonkey Apr 2020 #42

Another offensive statement toward the child-free: "I feel sorry for you." misanthrope Apr 2020 #131

Or they are fighting hard against the sadness that comes from Squinch Apr 2020 #164

I'm 50 gypsy11 Apr 2020 #22

There are always exceptions, but this guy's books are full of fake "facts", his data's debunked Baclava Apr 2020 #26

Lol! You really don't like the idea of happy childless older women, do you? Squinch Apr 2020 #72

I am objecting to a behavorial scientist spouting data claims that are false just to sell his books Baclava Apr 2020 #86

He must be awful to be quoting this data, which is nothing new and has been found Squinch Apr 2020 #90

This board needed spicing up, too much doom n gloom, I am happy to oblige, lol Baclava Apr 2020 #97

I'm kind of getting that impression. smirkymonkey Apr 2020 #115

I'm female, in my 60s never married, no kids jmbar2 Apr 2020 #59

Heck, yeah. Jirel Apr 2020 #76

I thought the same misanthrope Apr 2020 #132

So as a man, you assume 45 is a woman's 'cut off' age? whathehell Apr 2020 #29

Exactly! pazzyanne Apr 2020 #41

I just picked a number, lol. I knew the backlash would be coming, this guy is targeting book buyers Baclava Apr 2020 #43

Lol..So you "knew the backlash would be coming"? whathehell Apr 2020 #46

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful Baclava Apr 2020 #48

You're adorable.. whathehell Apr 2020 #53

I AM! and Malaise loves me too. I think DU should have a dating forum, I could totally mod there Baclava Apr 2020 #87

Or... he is looking at correct data. Squinch Apr 2020 #70

Also as a man, he is presented with data showing that women Squinch Apr 2020 #69

Thank you from a 64 yr old single woman. Boomerproud Apr 2020 #57

Yeah, no. But I can see why this data is disturbing to some. Squinch Apr 2020 #67

+1 obamanut2012 Apr 2020 #92

wtaf obamanut2012 Apr 2020 #91

There is a difference between being alone, and being lonely. niyad Apr 2020 #112

"They". I didn't have a desire to marry or have kids and I'm happy alone or in the company of others chowder66 Apr 2020 #118

All alone treestar Apr 2020 #139

i believe this 100%! samnsara Apr 2020 #6

THis is the function of emotional labor KitSileya Apr 2020 #8

+1 n/t CousinIT Apr 2020 #11

Yeah, no points for guess my marital status KitSileya Apr 2020 #20

Who is proclaiming the unmarried and childless as "privileged"? whathehell Apr 2020 #24

I was clearly talking about men being the privileged group, KitSileya Apr 2020 #94

Sorry for the.misumderstanding. n/t whathehell Apr 2020 #117

You Got that One Right! McKim Apr 2020 #63

+1 obamanut2012 Apr 2020 #93

To put that shorter, I love men, but they are a total pain in the ass to live with. Squinch Apr 2020 #96

Yes. It is very clear that our cultures raise boys to expect women to do the emotional labor KitSileya Apr 2020 #104

Exactly. And after a while of subtly demanding this, a certain amount of respect Squinch Apr 2020 #105

It's funny how Japanese women just quietly stopped getting married and having children betsuni Apr 2020 #123

Does this equate to "happier"? hughee99 Apr 2020 #9

Some might argue they are closely linked JenniferJuniper Apr 2020 #15

That's probably true, but if one thinks back to some of their happiest moments hughee99 Apr 2020 #17

And yet here is data that shows your observations are wrong. Squinch Apr 2020 #165

I see it differently FakeNoose Apr 2020 #19

Or maybe child free single older women are just happier than you! Squinch Apr 2020 #75

The single women I know between 40 and 60 certainly don't seem so. hughee99 Apr 2020 #136

Yet here is data that shows that, on the whole, they are. Squinch Apr 2020 #159

What data? This story didn't have any data, the guardian story hughee99 Apr 2020 #173

I live alone. No kids. leftyladyfrommo Apr 2020 #28

Same here. GoCubsGo Apr 2020 #35

My experience is that women zentrum Apr 2020 #34

I think people often glamorize having children, too. nt leftyladyfrommo Apr 2020 #50

I greatly believe that too. CousinIT Apr 2020 #129

Lol. Did you notice that this was data about the fact that they are happier Squinch Apr 2020 #81

Women who have never married still grow up in a family. meadowlander Apr 2020 #149

Yes! betsuni Apr 2020 #167

Those are my favorite people IronLionZion Apr 2020 #36

My mom lived to be 96, ebullient, 13 children StClone Apr 2020 #45

Yes. Your mother's happiness MUST mean that the definition Squinch Apr 2020 #82

I dunno ismnotwasm Apr 2020 #54

That expert never met my daughters DFW Apr 2020 #55

That's a "But not every man..." response. Jirel Apr 2020 #78

And? obamanut2012 Apr 2020 #95

His daughters are happy. And they're married. So it CAN'T be true that Squinch Apr 2020 #116

Never married, turned down several proposals, and thus avoided the divorces more than highplainsdem Apr 2020 #61

Data on the contrasted life spans Collimator Apr 2020 #62

I've come across studies like this in some happiness quotient and longevity articles. ancianita Apr 2020 #64

I know a lot of married women. Most are absolutely miserable. liberalmuse Apr 2020 #65

I know plenty of happy, healthy women who have children and happy, healthy ones who don't Marrah_Goodman Apr 2020 #68

I am pretty sure there are happy and unhappy people, as well as those Tanuki Apr 2020 #74

Yes, I can see why some would have a hard time with the notion that child-free, single women Squinch Apr 2020 #101

I can't imagine my life without my husband and sons..nt helpisontheway Apr 2020 #77

Articles like this almost always leave out/minimize the factor of companionship. keithbvadu2 Apr 2020 #80

Companionship doesn't equate to spouse/romantic partner/etc. obamanut2012 Apr 2020 #98

This thread is hilarious!!! The knee-jerk need (I am guessing entirely by men) to Squinch Apr 2020 #100

LOL!!!!! Because unmarried child free women cannot POSSIBLY have companions!!! Squinch Apr 2020 #99

Good job! You prove my point very well. keithbvadu2 Apr 2020 #110

Sure I did! You MUST be right about this! Squinch Apr 2020 #111

Which is why nuns live the longest KitSileya Apr 2020 #103

this has been known since I drmeow Apr 2020 #121

But look at the resistance from so many in this thread to believing it could possibly be true! Squinch Apr 2020 #122

I have found that scientific literacy drmeow Apr 2020 #124

Why they continue to do it is the mystery.. whathehell Apr 2020 #156

that doesn't work drmeow Apr 2020 #174

..Which is why I said "especially with housework" whathehell Apr 2020 #175

I have been happily married for years and have four children. They are great kids. The women I Demsrule86 Apr 2020 #137

lolololololol obamanut2012 Apr 2020 #162

... betsuni Apr 2020 #163

As a married man I can believe this with no problems. GulfCoast66 Apr 2020 #144

What a lovely post obamanut2012 Apr 2020 #168

Hmmm, doesn't sound like those women married adults uponit7771 Apr 2020 #146

Except they did obamanut2012 Apr 2020 #169

No one is going to be happy 20 years from now. roamer65 Apr 2020 #148

I'm much happier having my husband and sons around. They are my only company in this quarantine. Zing Zing Zingbah Apr 2020 #170