General Discussion

Ikonoklast

(23,973 posts)

125. Paul Ryan slapped Superman until he cried, then stole his cape.

Tue Sep 18, 2012, 02:53 PM

Sep 2012

Paul Ryan thought he made a mistake once...but he was wrong.

Paul Ryan made the Kraken wished he was never released.

Paul Ryan can impregnate a woman just by winking at her.

Paul Ryan walked solo across Antartica, in gym shorts and flip-flops.

Paul Ryan is the person Ghandi wishes he was.

Paul Ryan once told Paul McCartney that yesterday, all his troubles seemed so far away.

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Paul Ryan says his diet and exercise have turned his skeleton to titanium. [View all] porphyrian Sep 2012 OP

And raised his IQ to room temperature jsr Sep 2012 #1

Celsius n/t VWolf Sep 2012 #17

Yep. jsr Sep 2012 #21

Paul Ryan says he invented the Celsius scale. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #25

Paul Ryan says he's smarter than Einstein and Alex Trebek put together. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #24

Einstein, Hawking and Witten, perhaps. Let's leave Trebek out of it LOL VWolf Sep 2012 #31

Paul Ryans says he can create ten million jobs with one phone call. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #2

If that phone call was his announcing his support for Obama. IrishEyes Sep 2012 #5

Paul Ryan says his support would make Obama win the election. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #26

Paul Ryan can swallow a raw egg whole without breaking it. And poop out a live chicken. Erose999 Sep 2012 #3

Paul Ryan says he already did that. Twice. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #27

And both came out made of gold. nt Javaman Sep 2012 #133

Paul Ryan says he can jump onto the roof of the Sears Tower from Maine. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #4

Some say Paul Ryan is the Stig. lapislzi Sep 2012 #6

Top Gear Baby! n/t HangOnKids Sep 2012 #8

Paul Ryan says he was all of the Stigs. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #28

Paul Ryan says he's a commercial airline pilot. A professional...commercial...airline...pilot. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #7

Watch the monkeys flying out of Paul Ryan's butt. Blue Owl Sep 2012 #9

Paul Ryan says he does have butt monkeys, but they're invisible, so you can't watch them. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #29

Paul Ryan can run his fingers across dental floss and it will turn to a 14k Gold chain. HughBeaumont Sep 2012 #10

Double points for using "glockenspiel." n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #12

Paul Ryan invented the glockenspiel deutsey Sep 2012 #187

he didn't invent it, per se.. frylock Sep 2012 #465

Why do you hate America? deutsey Sep 2012 #466

Paul Ryan was the first person to ever accuse someone of "hating America" frylock Sep 2012 #468

LOL deutsey Sep 2012 #469

Paul Ryan says he can speak with the dead. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #11

No exaggeration there . . . look at his running mate. HughBeaumont Sep 2012 #13

Paul Ryan says that's not funny. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #30

Paul Ryan says it's not a tax, it's a fee. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #14

Yeah, but Timmy the Tool Pawlenty geardaddy Sep 2012 #51

Paul Ryan says he knew you were going to say that. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #15

Paul Ryan says he can reverse gravity with his will alone. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #16

"Did I ever tell you about the time Ryan went hunting? Ryan decides bullwinkle428 Sep 2012 #18

Paul Ryan says he wrote that skit for SNL. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #33

Oh yeah? Arkana Sep 2012 #19

Paul Ryans says yeah, but he's got the claws in his hands AND his feet. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #34

Paul Ryan says he uses his penis to pole vault. Lint Head Sep 2012 #20

Paul Ryan says that's how he won the Olympics. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #35

The guy thinks he's Putin! :) MatthewStLouis Sep 2012 #22

Paul Ryan says he created Photoshop and sold it to Adobe. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #38

He can even travel back through time aint_no_life_nowhere Sep 2012 #23

Paul Ryan says he created America by going back in time. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #39

The heat from Paul Ryan's awesomeness is what's melting the Arctic. randome Sep 2012 #32

Paul Ryan says he can reverse polar melting by striking a pose and staring at the water. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #40

Paul Ryan says he can touch the moon with his penis... pnwest Sep 2012 #36

Paul Ryan says that's how he gave scientists the idea for a space elevator. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #43

I'm dying here!! Tou gys are too funny! SaveAmerica Sep 2012 #390

Okay, that is really funny! smirkymonkey Sep 2012 #505

Paul Ryan destroyed the planet Krypton when he screwed Superman's mother. randome Sep 2012 #37

Paul Ryan says he's proud of that one. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #44

Paul Ryan Aerows Sep 2012 #41

Paul Ryan says that's how they invented the $.99 menu. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #45

Paul Ryan says that if elected as VP Aerows Sep 2012 #57

Paul Ryan says the reason Romney stutters and stumbles... randome Sep 2012 #42

Paul Ryan says he can cure glaucoma with his pecs. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #46

Paul Ryan says he can lie to Wonder Woman's lasso of truth. randome Sep 2012 #47

When Paul Ryan fires a bullet Aerows Sep 2012 #52

Paul Ryan says the Justice League is real, but they operate undercover. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #53

Ryan/Norris 2016! n/t Spirochete Sep 2012 #48

Paul Ryan says he and Chuck Norris always tie in kickboxing. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #56

I love this thread. geardaddy Sep 2012 #49

Paul Ryan says he predicted you would say that in 1988, but he didn't write it down. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #58

The full text of the Mayan calendar predicting doom in 2012 has been translated. randome Sep 2012 #50

Paul Ryan says the Mayans disappeared because they didn't cut enough social programs. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #61

Paul Ryan says Aerows Sep 2012 #64

I've wanted to create a compilation of "Paul Ryan Facts" Scootaloo Sep 2012 #54

Paul Ryan says he started Vin Diesel's career. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #65

Vin Diesel says he started Paul Ryan; Mrs. Ryan still calls. n/t Scootaloo Sep 2012 #72

Paul Ryan Aerows Sep 2012 #55

Paul Ryan says he went canoeing with Jon Lovitz, from Canada to Africa. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #67

Paul Ryan says he's really Paul Bunyan. nolabear Sep 2012 #59

Paul Ryan says he was the first lumberjack to wear plaid. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #68

Paul Ryan was the first lumberjack to jack lumber frylock Sep 2012 #467

Paul Ryan says his real name is Alisa Zinov'yevna Rosenbaum. n/t RKP5637 Sep 2012 #60

Paul Ryan says that's hot. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #69

LOL! and Paul says just call me Ayn for short, like in Ayn Rand. n/t RKP5637 Sep 2012 #105

Paul Ryan says Aerows Sep 2012 #62

Paul Ryan says he gave them permission to put that scene in Forrest Gump. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #70

Ever wonder what happened to this guy? pa28 Sep 2012 #63

Paul Ryan says he held that tank with sheer strength and that China is still mad at us for it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #71

Not only did Paul Ryan swim the English Channel... Lucy Goosey Sep 2012 #66

Paul Ryan says he swam all the way home with his family on his back. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #73

When Paul Ryan goes for a manicure, they haul out the steel wire cutters. randome Sep 2012 #74

Paul Ryan says he can cut his own nails with his abs. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #78

Paul Ryan carved the Rosetta Stone geardaddy Sep 2012 #75

Paul Ryan says he learned ancient Greek in one day to do that. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #79

Paul Ryan says he invented hieroglyphs. n/t geardaddy Sep 2012 #87

Paul Ryan's navel lint can cure cancer! randome Sep 2012 #76

Paul Ryan says cancer is caused by high taxes and welfare. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #83

Paul Ryan says Aerows Sep 2012 #77

Paul Ryan says he cut down the trees by punching them. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #84

Paul Ryan says Sarah Palin was once a well-spoken, intelligent woman. randome Sep 2012 #80

I saw Paul Ryan in hand to claw combat with a velociraptor lapislzi Sep 2012 #81

Paul Ryan invented the Internet so we could talk about him more! randome Sep 2012 #82

Paul Ryan says he was Marie Laveau’s voodoo king before Handsome Jack and Ronald Reagan MrTriumph Sep 2012 #85

When Paul Ryan takes off his socks, they try to put themselves back on! randome Sep 2012 #86

You know that asteroid that narrowly missed Earth last month? Paul Ryan. randome Sep 2012 #88

The missing dark matter of the Universe has been found... randome Sep 2012 #89

Paul Ryan can hang glide without a glider. randome Sep 2012 #90

Paul Ryan is a part-time exorcist on the side. He just shows up and then goes home. randome Sep 2012 #91

Paul Ryan and his brother Rambis Sep 2012 #92

Paul Ryan is why bats hide in the dark. randome Sep 2012 #93

Paul Ryan floated over Bhutan and they converted to capitalism. HughBeaumont Sep 2012 #94

In grade school, a kid shot a spitball at Paul Ryan. randome Sep 2012 #95

Paul Ryan says he can detect radioactive material by scent. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #96

Julian Assange once accidentally leaked an unauthorized photo of Paul Ryan. randome Sep 2012 #97

Paul Ryan drove this site underground. randome Sep 2012 #98

Paul Ryan doesn't 'tweet'. He 'obliterates'. randome Sep 2012 #99

His fans must live in a sterile corporate bubble Populist_Prole Sep 2012 #100

Paul Ryan won the Civil War single-handedly. n/t geardaddy Sep 2012 #101

The reason Congress gives so much in subsidies to farmers... randome Sep 2012 #102

Paul Ryan says he will change the office of Vice President to the Miami Vice President. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #103

AT&T has an entire department dedicated to giving Paul Ryan's cell phone first rate service! randome Sep 2012 #104

Stephen Hawking thought he had solved the riddle of the Universe. randome Sep 2012 #106

When Paul Ryan cross-dresses, women weep. randome Sep 2012 #107

Paul Ryan says Romney has never contradicted himself. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #108

Paul Ryan says the moon is made of green cheese. KamaAina Sep 2012 #109

When Paul Ryan puts an extracted tooth under his pillow, the Tooth Fairy gives him a blow job! randome Sep 2012 #110

LOL bongbong Sep 2012 #111

Paul Ryan is the reason Godzilla stopped attacking Japan. randome Sep 2012 #112

Paul Ryan says he can touch magma without getting burned. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #113

Paul Ryan and Tommy Flanagan are both married to Morgan Fairchild. lumberjack_jeff Sep 2012 #114

Paul Ryan says, "I'm Paul Ryan." And people run! randome Sep 2012 #115

Paul Ryan says he can drink as much alcohol as he wants and still drive perfectly. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #116

Paul Ryan put his parents in a nursing home. And then put the nursing home on Mount Olympus! randome Sep 2012 #117

Paul Ryan eliminated the letter '~' from the alphabet! randome Sep 2012 #118

Paul Ryan owns the copyright to the alphabet. -..__... Sep 2012 #424

Paul Ryan can't swim in lakes because his sweat will instantly brine all the ducks. flvegan Sep 2012 #119

Paul Ryan says that song is about him, but he's not vain. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #120

Paul Ryan says he will be Vice-President. WinkyDink Sep 2012 #121

The recent earthquakes in Indonesia were caused by one of Paul Ryan's farts! randome Sep 2012 #122

Paul Ryan was the inspiration for comic book character Wolverine Hugabear Sep 2012 #123

Wait! What? Paul Ryan is actually Chuck Norris???! Matariki Sep 2012 #124

Chuck Norris? PFAH! Chuck Norris calls Paul Ryan for hints Buns_of_Fire Sep 2012 #199

Paul Ryan Aerows Sep 2012 #313

Paul Ryan slapped Superman until he cried, then stole his cape. Ikonoklast Sep 2012 #125

Paul Ryan replied to this message. randome Sep 2012 #126

When Paul Ryan heard the Soviet Union shot a puppy into space, he broke it up! randome Sep 2012 #127

Paul Ryan's urine is highly anabolic, on the World Anti-Doping Agency's banned substance list. flvegan Sep 2012 #128

Paul Ryan says he makes his own flour by round kicking wheat. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #129

Paul Ryan communicates with whales. Every time he goes to New Jersey! randome Sep 2012 #130

Paul Ryan says he can play Metallica on guitar - with his lips. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #131

Paul Ryan says Aerows Sep 2012 #132

Paul Ryan says he will decriminalize marijuana so that he can recriminalize it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #134

If Paul Ryan truly wanted to pass a bill... randome Sep 2012 #135

Chuck Norris is not amused. nt Javaman Sep 2012 #136

Paul Ryan says he called permanent shotgun. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #137

The Sun never rises until it checks with Paul Ryan first. randome Sep 2012 #138

Paul Ryan completely understood LOST. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #139

LOL smackd Sep 2012 #316

Paul Ryan says he can break your arms with just a thought Taverner Sep 2012 #140

Lips of lyin' and sh-- for brains Thinkingabout Sep 2012 #141

Paul Ryan's spellchecker NEVER reports an issue! randome Sep 2012 #142

There is a secret underground bunker where Paul Ryan masturbates. randome Sep 2012 #143

"The Pope told Ryan it was okay to have a mistress." bullwinkle428 Sep 2012 #144

Paul Ryan designed Microsoft's new Metro OS. randome Sep 2012 #145

Paul Ryan says Firefly was NOT canceled. randome Sep 2012 #146

Paul Ryan is the reason Doctor Who won't stay in one place! randome Sep 2012 #147

Paul Ryan can make a swan scream. randome Sep 2012 #148

Paul Ryan found Princess Peach in the first castle. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #149

I think he was either very scrawny or overweight when he was a kid and in HS loyalsister Sep 2012 #150

Paul Ryan CAN piss six feet in the air without getting wet. HughBeaumont Sep 2012 #151

Paul Ryan is the result of a one-night stand between Bill Brasky and Chuck Norris. MjolnirTime Sep 2012 #152

Paul Ryan guided Apollo 11 to a safe landing. By pointing. randome Sep 2012 #153

Paul Ryan says he only drinks 200% milk. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #154

Paul Ryan says he fills his own cavities by chewing on silver. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #156

Paul Ryan's security clearance says 'Paul Ryan'. randome Sep 2012 #155

Here's a good one. Paul Ryan walks into this bar... randome Sep 2012 #157

Paul Ryan says the fifth letter of his name is both silent and invisible. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #158

Paul Ryan's calendar is ALWAYS open. And has 22 months. randome Sep 2012 #159

Time flows in only one direction. Whichever way Paul Ryan happens to be facing! randome Sep 2012 #160

The molecules in Paul Ryan's body cannot be divided into anything smaller. randome Sep 2012 #161

Paul Ryan says he's gonna come at you like a spider monkey! Like a spider monkey! n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #162

I love you guys. renie408 Sep 2012 #163

Paul Ryan made the Kessel Run in less than EIGHT parsecs. flvegan Sep 2012 #164

Paul Ryan knows the last digit of pi. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #165

Paul Ryan once defeated the Dallas Cowboys in a pre-season game... randome Sep 2012 #166

Paul Ryan is the only thing the Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger gives a shit about. flvegan Sep 2012 #167

LOL! smirkymonkey Sep 2012 #332

ROTFLMAO Aeroette Sep 2012 #340

The pirate Captain Agorn once ran afoul of Paul Ryan. randome Sep 2012 #168

Paul Ryan says he makes mustaches cool without even growning one. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #169

Paul Ryan says he can juice a diamond. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #172

Count to one. You still won't be fast enough to stop Paul Ryan! randome Sep 2012 #170

The Human Centipede was Paul Ryan's idea. randome Sep 2012 #171

Paul Ryan built Mary Shelley. randome Sep 2012 #173

Paul Ryan says everywhere he's slept, he's lied. pnwest Sep 2012 #174

Paul Ryan lights candles by threatening to cut their funding! randome Sep 2012 #175

Paul Ryan says he can browbeat a kodiac bear into cuddling with him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #176

The Church of Paul Ryan is all you need to know. Ever. About anything. randome Sep 2012 #177

Paul Ryan's fantasy football team has a 45,000 seat stadium. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #178

"If I had a hammer..." randome Sep 2012 #179

Paul Ryan once made a man LITERALLY pull himself up by his bootstraps! randome Sep 2012 #180

They use Ryan's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Miller Park. bullwinkle428 Sep 2012 #181

Paul Ryan cut NASA funding because he can toss their next probe to Mars for free. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #182

Paul Ryan says he's the reason Spanish is a Romance language. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #183

Paul Ryan's manicurist is a fireman with advanced experience with the Jaws of Life. flvegan Sep 2012 #184

When Paul Ryan laughs out loud, everyone temporarily forgets the number '4'. randome Sep 2012 #185

Paul Ryan scrubs his toilets with the maid. For fun. randome Sep 2012 #186

When Paul Ryan sings a lullaby, coma patients wake up! randome Sep 2012 #188

Paul Ryan farts in four part harmony. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #189

Paul Ryan never claps out of fear of creating strangelets. flvegan Sep 2012 #190

Paul Ryan doesn't NEED a keyboard for his iPad. It does what he tells it to do! randome Sep 2012 #191

Paul Ryan says only HE can prevent forest fires. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #192

Paul Ryan used his xray vision to see Kate Middleton's breasts months ago. flvegan Sep 2012 #193

Paul Ryan's phone number is unlisted. randome Sep 2012 #194

Paul Ryan read the Bible. Jesus lived, blew up Rome and scored with Mary Magdalene. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #195

Paul Ryan eats nothing but sunshine and air. randome Sep 2012 #196

Paul Ryan says St. Paul was named after him. nt tblue37 Sep 2012 #197

Paul Ryan could end global warming by using a hand fan 30 minutes per day. flvegan Sep 2012 #198

Paul Ryan's birthday is tomorrow. And the next day. And the next. randome Sep 2012 #200

so? riverbendviewgal Sep 2012 #201

Paul Ryan's mother is the galaxy Andromeda. He doesn't speak about his father. randome Sep 2012 #202

Paul Ryan's shoelaces are the basis of String Theory. randome Sep 2012 #203

Paul Ryan Week is replacing Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. flvegan Sep 2012 #204

Too late. The Discovery Channel is being replaced by The Paul Ryan Channel. Buns_of_Fire Sep 2012 #211

Paul Ryan hasn't told George RR Martin who Jon Snow's parents really are yet. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #205

The Hubble telescope spontaneously fixed itself when Paul Ryan came in its sights. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #206

Steve Jobs once requested a favor from Paul Ryan. We all know what happened to him! randome Sep 2012 #207

Paul Ryan can clap with one hand. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #208

In sand volleyball, when Paul Ryan spikes the ball, people die. randome Sep 2012 #209

Paul Ryan's car elevator is his own two arms. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #210

Paul Ryan is the king lording over The Knights Who Say Ni. flvegan Sep 2012 #212

Paul Ryan knows the airspeed velocity of any species of swallow. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #217

Paul Ryan was the slayer of the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh flvegan Sep 2012 #224

Paul Ryan does routines and chorus scenes with footwork im-pec-able. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #310

Mitt Romney is Paul Ryan's idea of a practical joke! randome Sep 2012 #213

As a child, Paul Ryan flew a kite to the Moon! randome Sep 2012 #214

Paul Ryan says he's never wrong, he's just greater degrees of right. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #215

Time and tide do wait for Paul Ryan. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #216

Paul Ryan's heart beats twice as fast as a hummingbird's! randome Sep 2012 #218

Paul Ryan knows if Schrodinger's cat is alive or not! randome Sep 2012 #222

But is resting heart rate is 5 because of his extreme level of fitness. Evasporque Sep 2012 #253

Paul Ryan says he's discovered a new element and named it ryaninium... porphyrian Sep 2012 #219

Paul Ryan says he eats Nigerian "yellow cake" uranium on his birthday deutsey Sep 2012 #220

Paul Ryan can eat just one potato chip. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #221

Paul Ryan flipped the switch when God said "Let there be light." LeftyMom Sep 2012 #223

When Paul Ryan draws a line in the sand... randome Sep 2012 #225

Paul Ryan can split atoms through mere suggestion. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #226

Paul Ryan says he can bend light around his bicep. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #227

"Paul Ryan" should always appear in bold type and size 5000 font! randome Sep 2012 #228

Children don't make noise in Paul Ryan's neighborhood. randome Sep 2012 #229

Paul Ryan says he can do sit-ups all day without farting at all. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #230

Paul Ryan says he will calm the Middle East by playing a metal ballad solo. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #231

Paul Ryan doesn't need to recycle anything. He just eats it and excretes rainbows! randome Sep 2012 #232

Habanero peppers start to weep when they get a whiff of Paul Ryan. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #233

Paul Ryan says he was on every episode of Romper Room. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #234

Paul Ryan got high once. The result was a platypus! randome Sep 2012 #235

Paul Ryan says he only uses mirrors for trick shots. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #236

Paul Ryan's former black girlfriend was Asian when she started. randome Sep 2012 #237

Paul Ryan says pi is equal to 3. KamaAina Sep 2012 #238

Paul Ryan is a free wi-fi hotspot for up to 15 nearby users. flvegan Sep 2012 #239

Paul Ryan says fundamentalists follow his word to the letter. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #240

Paul Ryan punched Mitch McConnell's chin clean off his face! randome Sep 2012 #241

Paul Ryan is the Walrus. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #242

Paul Ryan says he always gets a discount without the coupon. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #243

Paul Ryan wears color contacts to make his eyes less blue. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #244

Paul Ryan discovered Cheap Trick at the Waukesha Bowl....nt Evasporque Sep 2012 #245

Paul Ryan was EVERYONE's date for Prom Night. Including the teachers. randome Sep 2012 #246

Paul Ryan wrote the dirty lyrics to "Louie, Louie" LeftyMom Sep 2012 #247

Ryan asked me one time if I wanted to join him for a drink. We go off looking bullwinkle428 Sep 2012 #248

Paul Ryan speaks fluent Vulcan. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #249

Oscar Mayer weiners wish they were Paul Ryan. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #250

Paul Ryan says he can produce chocolate breast milk for starving babies. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #251

Paul Ryan's coffee is so strong, he drinks it from a cup made of nuclear fuel rods! randome Sep 2012 #252

Paul Ryan broke Hank Aaron's homerun record in a single season of baseball. flvegan Sep 2012 #254

Paul Ryan says he creates the lag you experience when gaming online. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #255

Paul Ryan says Facebook stocks dropped because he logged out. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #256

Paul Ryan ended world hunger by playing Farmville. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #258

Mars was once teeming with life. But Paul Ryan packed everything up and moved it here instead! randome Sep 2012 #257

Paul Ryan says his pet panther uses a litter box filled with human skulls. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #259

Paul Ryan says he stopped a tornado by turning the other way. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #261

The gods are not amused. They are frightened of Paul Ryan! randome Sep 2012 #260

Parallel lines intersect for Paul Ryan. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #262

Paul Ryan doesn't wipe himself. He still smells like roses and honeysuckle! randome Sep 2012 #263

Paul Ryan's twin sister was Phyllis Diller. She had a traumatic childhood. randome Sep 2012 #264

Paul Ryan lifted the lintels up on Stonehenge for the Druids. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #265

Ripley would rather face the alien queen than Paul Ryan! randome Sep 2012 #266

Paul Ryan CAN divide by zero. Amaril Sep 2012 #267

Paul Ryan says he leads in the polls in the states of solid, liquid and gas. Plasma is iffy. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #268

Paul Ryan beat both Kasparov and Deep Blue in chess! Blindfolded! randome Sep 2012 #269

Paul Ryan says he can break a chain letter and you will have bad luck. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #270

Paul Ryan can tug on Superman's cape, he can spit into the wind, he can pull the mask Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #271

Paul Ryan has many leather-bound books and his apartment smells of rich mahogany flvegan Sep 2012 #272

Paul Ryan says he speaks telepathically, just like that. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #273

Paul Ryan doesn't believe in Evolution. Nothing led to him and nothing leaves. randome Sep 2012 #274

Paul Ryan says he got DeLorean busted so his car would be worth more. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #275

Paul Ryan changed the answer to Life, the Universe & Everything Amaril Sep 2012 #276

Paul Ryan says he can burn calories outside of his body. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #277

Paul Ryan says he knows exactly where Sopchoppy is. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #278

This message was self-deleted by its author littlemissmartypants Sep 2012 #279

Onions cry in Paul Ryan's presence. randome Sep 2012 #280

Paul Ryan doesn't need to mow his lawns. He trained the squirrels and rabbits to do that for him. randome Sep 2012 #281

Paul Ryan's brain is a tesseract AND a moebius strip! randome Sep 2012 #282

Paul Ryan says he is The Creator in the new American mythology. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #283

He also has lyin' lips and sh-- for brains Thinkingabout Sep 2012 #284

Paul Ryan joined a dating service once. No woman thought she was good enough. randome Sep 2012 #285

Paul Ryan knows if Santa has been naughty or nice. randome Sep 2012 #286

Paul Ryan says he'll use nanotechnology to create a smaller government. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #287

An African swallow once carried Paul Ryan across the Atlantic! randome Sep 2012 #288

Paul Ryan says he is the law. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #289

Paul Ryan says he uses a comb with real teeth. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #290

The three little pigs are more afraid of Paul Ryan than the big, bad wolf! randome Sep 2012 #291

Car alarms go off in Paul Ryan's presence! randome Sep 2012 #292

Paul Ryan says he can survive for a year on only water and the sorrow of starving children. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #293

Paul Ryan says he did expect the Spanish Inquisition. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #294

Paul Ryan says we can all drive home now! randome Sep 2012 #295

Heh, heh. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #296

But can he beat up Chuck Norris? There's a right wing wedge issue for ya'. hughee99 Sep 2012 #297

When Rick Astley clicks on a link, he gets Ryan-rolled. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #298

Paul Ryan wrote the Book of Love. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #299

When Jesus takes communion, the priest turns the host into Paul Ryan's body. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #300

Paul Ryan Never Gets Jet Lag Yavin4 Sep 2012 #301

Paul Ryan's Real Name is Dick Whitman n/t Yavin4 Sep 2012 #302

Bigfoot and Nessie hope to spot Paul Ryan one day. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #303

Paul Ryan's Magic 8 Ball always says 'Yes'. randome Sep 2012 #304

Paul Ryan says Rachel Maddow would be cute if she were a Conservative. randome Sep 2012 #305

At 7 years of age, Paul Ryan sold his own urine at a lemonade stand. randome Sep 2012 #306

Other than my own Twitter account... randome Sep 2012 #307

Simon says, "What does Paul Ryan say?" randome Sep 2012 #308

Che Guevera wears t-shirts with Paul Ryan's face on them. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #309

Paul Ryan can cure scrofula Generic Other Sep 2012 #311

Paul Ryan was the model for Michelangelo's statue of David. randome Sep 2012 #312

Bump for justice! \O/ cecilfirefox Sep 2012 #314

Paul Ryan has seen the tax returns. randome Sep 2012 #315

Paul Ryan invented sausage when he threw a cow through a chain link fence. Systematic Chaos Sep 2012 #317

Paul Ryan doesn't get wet; water gets Paul Ryan. Systematic Chaos Sep 2012 #318

Muhammed Ali recently conceded that Paul Ryan is actually the greatest. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #319

Paul Ryan says his other car is a battleship. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #320

Hendrix was wrong. The wind cries "Paul Ryan." Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #321

Paul Ryan ended famine in Africa by playing Farmville for an hour. Systematic Chaos Sep 2012 #322

Paul Ryan checks for duplicates. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #323

Well then Paul Ryan can give HIMSELF ocular cancer by scanning this entire list. Systematic Chaos Sep 2012 #329

In 1999, Paul Ryan could get online with AOL instantly. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #324

Paul Ryan posted the video on YouTube. randome Sep 2012 #325

At 2 a.m. bartenders tell Paul Ryan that he doesn't have to go home and he CAN stay there. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #326

"The Guinness Book of World Records" is changing its name to "Paul Ryan's Diary". Systematic Chaos Sep 2012 #327

Paul Ryan says he was the first to successfully send a V17 route in the 70's... Earth_First Sep 2012 #328

Paul Ryan says that when he eats out, the wait staff tips him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #330

A guy that is that taken by himself has secrets that will come out. bluestate10 Sep 2012 #331

Paul Ryan says his smile makes roses bloom. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #333

Paul Ryan says he can cook minute rice in two seconds. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #334

Paul Ryan says he never gets sick because bacteria obey him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #335

Paul Ryan says ice is just water that's too lazy to move. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #336

Paul Ryan says he can flatten a train with a penny. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #337

Paul Ryan says he knew that article in The Onion was just a joke. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #338

Paul Ryan underestimated the number of mountains he's climbed. randome Sep 2012 #339

Paul Ryan says he gets Yahtzee every time he throws the dice. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #341

Paul Ryan's ant farm was the inspiration for the movie 'Them!' randome Sep 2012 #342

Paul Ryan says the homeless are happy to carry him around the city on his throne. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #343

Paul Ryan says Babe Ruth collected his signature. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #344

Paul Ryan's hair has its own Congressional staffers. randome Sep 2012 #345

Paul Ryan says his name is a killing word. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #346

Paul Ryan had Bluetooth implanted in both ears. randome Sep 2012 #347

Paul Ryan injured thirty seven bulls during the 'Running of the Bulls'. randome Sep 2012 #348

Paul Ryan says that he mints his own currency legally, but gay marriage devalues it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #349

When Paul Ryan goes swimming Robyn66 Sep 2012 #350

Paul Ryan says that when he does push ups, Earth's magnetic poles waver. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #351

Paul Ryan already solved the Middle East conflict. randome Sep 2012 #352

Paul Ryan is hired by Sherpas to haul their stuff up Everest. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #353

Paul Ryan says he READ Ulysses. nolabear Sep 2012 #354

Paul Ryan not only read Ulysses, Paul Ryan understood Ulysses. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #357

I was thinking the same thing! randome Sep 2012 #364

Paul Ryan killed Jason Bourne. randome Sep 2012 #355

Paul Ryan says he has no intention of running for God, but really already is. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #356

When in bed with a lover, God cries out "Oh Paul Ryan!" Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #358

GPS asks Paul Ryan for directions. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #359

Paul Ryan says he has a missle in his back yard, but you can't look at it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #360

Paul Ryan was the first man to have sex with Sinn Sage - ON CAMERA derby378 Sep 2012 #361

Paul Ryan is the most common cause of erectile dysfunction. randome Sep 2012 #362

Paul Ryan says that he can make an origami axe and chop firewood with it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #363

Paul Ryan decided the Chicago teachers' strike. randome Sep 2012 #365

Paul Ryan does not photograph well. randome Sep 2012 #366

Paul Ryan says he can see Russia from here because he has 1/1 vision. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #367

When Paul Ryan break-dances, the pavement melts. randome Sep 2012 #368

Paul Ryan says he always has change for a thousand. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #369

Paul Ryan says he takes No-Doze to go to sleep. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #370

When the lights go out...Paul Ryan still SHINES! randome Sep 2012 #371

Paul Ryan says he is building a pyramid in Wisconsin to hold his mummified remains when he dies. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #372

Paul Ryan says he is the world, he is the children. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #373

Paul Ryan says he already has an iPhone 6. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #374

Batman is afraid of Paul Ryan. So is Bane. randome Sep 2012 #375

If you want to get rich, invite Paul Ryan to a backyard barbeque. randome Sep 2012 #376

Paul Ryan says, "Be healed!" and the crippled walk again. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #377

Paul Ryan says his bite turns zombies into him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #378

Paul Ryan says he can still save his campaign, but thinks better of it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #379

Paul Ryan uses a silver spoon to eat everything - the one up rMoney's a$$ Tyrs WolfDaemon Sep 2012 #380

Paul Ryan says he found the recipe for the perfect beer and burned it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #381

Paul Ryan says taxis fight to give him a ride. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #382

Paul Ryan says he is the mother of all genetic diversity. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #383

Paul Ryan says that he will grant you three wishes if you rub it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #384

Paul Ryan says he sold Rev. Sharpton the bridge he keeps trying to sell. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #385

Paul Ryan sez he can connect to teh interwebs wif his mindz so he can has all teh knowing. pnwest Sep 2012 #386

If any Republicans/Conservatives read this, remember... randome Sep 2012 #387

Paul Ryan PUT that pancake on that bunny's head. randome Sep 2012 #388

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, Paul Ryan can hear it anyway. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #389

Paul Ryan says he freed the slaves; twice. SaveAmerica Sep 2012 #391

Paul Ryan says he wrote the Constitution while building the white house and giving birth to George SaveAmerica Sep 2012 #392

Paul Ryan says he carved the shape of the US with his teeth SaveAmerica Sep 2012 #393

Paul Ryan built that. theKed Sep 2012 #394

Out of Legos! randome Sep 2012 #395

Paul Ryan says he eats bald eagle omelettes for breakfast. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #396

Paul Ryan says that when a mosquito bites him, it turns into a butterfly. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #397

Paul Ryan says he doesn't wear underwear, he is swathed in radiant energy generated by exercise. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #398

Paul Ryan says he forgave Jesus and made him cry. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #399

Paul Ryan says he designed Helvetica. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #400

Paul Ryan says he can outrun a bullet train on a unicycle - backwards. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #401

Paul Ryan dresses as Paul Ryan for Halloween! randome Sep 2012 #402

Paul Ryan went to a Motorhead concert and Lemmy left the stage. HughBeaumont Sep 2012 #403

Paul Ryan doesn't just 'take' a shower. The shower first has to show how much it wants him. randome Sep 2012 #404

Paul Ryan says Cheney shot him while hunting, too, but his body metabolized the buckshot. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #405

Paul Ryan says that the global demonstations are really his fans trying to touch him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #406

Paul Ryan says he can stack cups faster than that kid. Full cups. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #407

Paul Ryan can curl 300 tons with one hand. HughBeaumont Sep 2012 #408

Paul Ryan says that during Hands Across America, he closed a gap across three counties. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #409

Paul Ryan says that when he Googles "facials" or "watersports," he never gets porn results. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #410

Paul Ryan is so interesting... -..__... Sep 2012 #411

Paul Ryan says there are no secret videos of him because he can disrupt electronics at will. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #412

Paul Ryan says there is no Alpha and Omega... Amaril Sep 2012 #413

Paul Ryan says he made Coke switch back to its original formula. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #414

Paul Ryan ran yesphan Sep 2012 #415

Paul Ryan says he raised Atlantis from the sea. It is now called, "Europe." n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #416

Paul Ryans phone number is 1 -..__... Sep 2012 #417

Paul Ryan's poop is being used as currency in Argentina. bullwinkle428 Sep 2012 #418

Paul Ryan doesn't find Waldo... -..__... Sep 2012 #419

Paul Ryan doesn't fear for the future, he changes the past. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #420

Paul Ryan's flatulence was bottled and sold as Chanel No 6 -..__... Sep 2012 #421

Paul Ryan gets every "Wheel of Fortune" question correct, with only 1 letter on the board. -..__... Sep 2012 #422

Paul Ryan says he never buys vowels. They are donated to him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #425

Even Paul Ryans dog has an aircraft carrier named after him. -..__... Sep 2012 #423

Paul Ryan says Romney has done a good job of damage control, then laughs. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #426

When President Obama says he's the President of ALL Americans... randome Sep 2012 #427

The reason the expansion of the Universe is accelerating: fear of Paul Ryan! randome Sep 2012 #428

While waiting at the DMV, Paul Ryan is given a foot bath and neck massage. randome Sep 2012 #429

Paul Ryan returned all the SS Money he mooched - He paid it back to himself to be safe n/t Tsiyu Sep 2012 #430

Paul Ryan says he has opened a new bank. It is called, "The Bahamas." n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #431

Paul Ryan says he is the Big Paul Theory and God SaveAmerica Sep 2012 #432

Paul Ryan says he wears a disguise to church so that people won't worship him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #433

Paul Ryan once tripped on a rock and got himself pregnant. randome Sep 2012 #434

There is no Congressional gridlock. There is only Paul Ryan's hypnotic stare! randome Sep 2012 #435

Paul Ryan says he is proposing legislation to balance the budget by taxing China. He likes jade. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #436

Paul Ryan says he is close with the Romneys because their ancestors rode dinosaurs together. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #437

Paul Ryan says the 47% figure is actually low, given the attendance at the country club. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #438

Paul Ryan says that there are no disabled people, just some that are extra lazy. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #439

Paul Ryan killed Bambi's mother. randome Sep 2012 #440

Paul Ryan says he's against cloning because two of him would disrupt the time/space continuum. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #441

The Incredible Hulk is Paul Ryan's footstool! randome Sep 2012 #442

Paul Ryan says the Pope kisses his ring on visits. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #443

Paul Ryan says he doesn't put milk in his coffee, he uses butter. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #444

The Umbrella Corporation is owned by Paul Ryan. randome Sep 2012 #445

Paul Ryan sweetens his tea with the blood of baby seals. randome Sep 2012 #446

Paul Ryan says he would support farmers if the government would just give him a fief. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #447

Paul Ryan says he can rap. porphyrian Sep 2012 #448

Paul Ryan says he gave the cursed tiki to the Bradys. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #449

Paul Ryan says he's a family man; the Bush family, the Cheney family, the Perle family... n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #450

Paul Ryan's pubic hair was used for the Stradivarius. randome Sep 2012 #451

Paul Ryan says poverty is easily cured - send the poor to war. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #452

Paul Ryan says that he can get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop in one lick. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #453

Paul Ryan says MMA fights are too girly. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #454

Paul Ryan wrote the final episode of Battlestar Galactica. randome Sep 2012 #455

Paul Ryan says he doesn't support white supremacists, he just takes their money. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #456

Paul Ryan's farts turn into living beings aint_no_life_nowhere Sep 2012 #457

That explains so much! randome Sep 2012 #459

The stinkiest flower in the world, the Titan Arum from Indonesia... randome Sep 2012 #458

Paul Ryan says that you wouldn't need health care if you would just work out more, fatty. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #460

Paul Ryan says that he supports small businesses, as long as they are owned by large ones. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #461

Paul Ryan says that his economic plans are 100% effective for at least 1% of Americans. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #462

Paul Ryan says he doesn't age, he ripens. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #463

Paul Ryan says he can still convice you to vote for him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #464

Paul Ryan says he was the first person ever to yell "Free Bird!" deutsey Sep 2012 #470

Paul Ryan says he's climbed every mountain...on Mars. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #471

(randome's daughter here, couldn't resist) randome Sep 2012 #472

Nice. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #473

Paul Ryan says HE built this city on rock and roll. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #474

Paul Ryan says when there's a bustle in his hedgerow he doesn't get alarmed. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #484

Paul Ryan defended Czechoslovakia when Obama abandoned it. Initech Sep 2012 #475

My Paul Ryan can beat up your Paul Ryan as he runs up a mountain 2 Botany Sep 2012 #476

Paul Ryan says he inspired "Atlas Shrugged." n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #477

Paul Ryan says he modeled for the original Atlas statue. n/t geardaddy Sep 2012 #478

Paul Ryan says the biceps should have been bigger, though. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #479

Paul Ryan says Charles Atlas is insanely jealous of Paul Ryan's physique. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #485

Paul Ryan THREW Icarus into the Sun! randome Sep 2012 #480

...but the Sun did not melt Icarus' wings, Paul Ryan's Objectivist radiance did. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #481

Paul Ryan says he's going to kick the droopy, wrinkly asses of the AARP seniors who just booed him. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #482

Paul Ryan says he is not the second coming of Jesus because he is not so forgiving. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #483

Paul Ryan says he's not an obstuctionist, he's giving legislation the freedom to fail. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #486

Paul Ryan says he didn't need those old people votes anyway. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #487

Paul Ryan says he was in Pink Floyd's "The Wall." porphyrian Sep 2012 #488

I don't know how to respond to this. randome Sep 2012 #492

... porphyrian Sep 2012 #495

I think something is leaking behind my eyes. randome Sep 2012 #503

Yeah, it's a masterpiece. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #504

Paul Ryan says Romney's skin wasn't dyed, he has facial chromophores. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #489

Paul Ryan says he is watching you poop. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #490

Pyan says if he lived in Michigan he would call himself Wolverine Ryan... WCGreen Sep 2012 #491

Paul Ryan says he has a mascot: himself. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #493

Paul Ryan thinks hes the coolest politician that ever came from Janesville,Wisconsin... undeterred Sep 2012 #494

Paul Ryan says that he created the first spork while working at NASA. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #496

"He's more machine now than man.... Proud Liberal Dem Sep 2012 #497

Paul Ryan says all roads lead to him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #498

Paul Ryan says fuck milk, he does a body good. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #499

Paul Ryan says he CAN pick a friend's nose. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #500

Paul Ryan invented Chuck Norris, demwing Sep 2012 #501

Paul Ryan says he did all of Norris' stunts in "Good Guys Wear Black," too. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #502

Paul Ryan says that if you support Obama, Jesus will eat a puppy. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #506

Paul Ryan says republicans aren't crying, they're cleansing their eyes of Democratic success. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #507

Paul Ryan says polls are for losing losers and you're FAT!!! n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #508

Paul Ryans says that wasn't a small audience at his speech, it was only those strong enough to be... porphyrian Oct 2012 #509

Paul Ryan says he's so good a ninja, you can't even tell he's wearing a ninja suit. n/t porphyrian Oct 2012 #510

Has it been a year already? My, how time flies. randome Oct 2013 #511