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And raised his IQ to room temperature jsr Sep 2012 #1
Celsius n/t VWolf Sep 2012 #17
Yep. jsr Sep 2012 #21
Paul Ryan says he invented the Celsius scale. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #25
Paul Ryan says he's smarter than Einstein and Alex Trebek put together. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #24
Einstein, Hawking and Witten, perhaps. Let's leave Trebek out of it LOL VWolf Sep 2012 #31
Paul Ryans says he can create ten million jobs with one phone call. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #2
If that phone call was his announcing his support for Obama. IrishEyes Sep 2012 #5
Paul Ryan says his support would make Obama win the election. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #26
Paul Ryan can swallow a raw egg whole without breaking it. And poop out a live chicken. Erose999 Sep 2012 #3
Paul Ryan says he already did that. Twice. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #27
And both came out made of gold. nt Javaman Sep 2012 #133
Paul Ryan says he can jump onto the roof of the Sears Tower from Maine. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #4
Some say Paul Ryan is the Stig. lapislzi Sep 2012 #6
Top Gear Baby! n/t HangOnKids Sep 2012 #8
Paul Ryan says he was all of the Stigs. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #28
Paul Ryan says he's a commercial airline pilot. A professional...commercial...airline...pilot. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #7
Watch the monkeys flying out of Paul Ryan's butt. Blue Owl Sep 2012 #9
Paul Ryan says he does have butt monkeys, but they're invisible, so you can't watch them. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #29
Paul Ryan can run his fingers across dental floss and it will turn to a 14k Gold chain. HughBeaumont Sep 2012 #10
Double points for using "glockenspiel." n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #12
Paul Ryan invented the glockenspiel deutsey Sep 2012 #187
he didn't invent it, per se.. frylock Sep 2012 #465
Why do you hate America? deutsey Sep 2012 #466
Paul Ryan was the first person to ever accuse someone of "hating America" frylock Sep 2012 #468
LOL deutsey Sep 2012 #469
Paul Ryan says he can speak with the dead. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #11
No exaggeration there . . . look at his running mate. HughBeaumont Sep 2012 #13
Paul Ryan says that's not funny. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #30
Paul Ryan says it's not a tax, it's a fee. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #14
Yeah, but Timmy the Tool Pawlenty geardaddy Sep 2012 #51
Paul Ryan says he knew you were going to say that. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #15
Paul Ryan says he can reverse gravity with his will alone. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #16
"Did I ever tell you about the time Ryan went hunting? Ryan decides bullwinkle428 Sep 2012 #18
Paul Ryan says he wrote that skit for SNL. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #33
Oh yeah? Arkana Sep 2012 #19
Paul Ryans says yeah, but he's got the claws in his hands AND his feet. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #34
Paul Ryan says he uses his penis to pole vault. Lint Head Sep 2012 #20
Paul Ryan says that's how he won the Olympics. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #35
The guy thinks he's Putin! :) MatthewStLouis Sep 2012 #22
Paul Ryan says he created Photoshop and sold it to Adobe. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #38
He can even travel back through time aint_no_life_nowhere Sep 2012 #23
Paul Ryan says he created America by going back in time. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #39
The heat from Paul Ryan's awesomeness is what's melting the Arctic. randome Sep 2012 #32
Paul Ryan says he can reverse polar melting by striking a pose and staring at the water. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #40
Paul Ryan says he can touch the moon with his penis... pnwest Sep 2012 #36
Paul Ryan says that's how he gave scientists the idea for a space elevator. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #43
I'm dying here!! Tou gys are too funny! SaveAmerica Sep 2012 #390
Okay, that is really funny! smirkymonkey Sep 2012 #505
Paul Ryan destroyed the planet Krypton when he screwed Superman's mother. randome Sep 2012 #37
Paul Ryan says he's proud of that one. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #44
Paul Ryan Aerows Sep 2012 #41
Paul Ryan says that's how they invented the $.99 menu. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #45
Paul Ryan says that if elected as VP Aerows Sep 2012 #57
Paul Ryan says the reason Romney stutters and stumbles... randome Sep 2012 #42
Paul Ryan says he can cure glaucoma with his pecs. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #46
Paul Ryan says he can lie to Wonder Woman's lasso of truth. randome Sep 2012 #47
When Paul Ryan fires a bullet Aerows Sep 2012 #52
Paul Ryan says the Justice League is real, but they operate undercover. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #53
Ryan/Norris 2016! n/t Spirochete Sep 2012 #48
Paul Ryan says he and Chuck Norris always tie in kickboxing. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #56
I love this thread. geardaddy Sep 2012 #49
Paul Ryan says he predicted you would say that in 1988, but he didn't write it down. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #58
The full text of the Mayan calendar predicting doom in 2012 has been translated. randome Sep 2012 #50
Paul Ryan says the Mayans disappeared because they didn't cut enough social programs. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #61
Paul Ryan says Aerows Sep 2012 #64
I've wanted to create a compilation of "Paul Ryan Facts" Scootaloo Sep 2012 #54
Paul Ryan says he started Vin Diesel's career. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #65
Vin Diesel says he started Paul Ryan; Mrs. Ryan still calls. n/t Scootaloo Sep 2012 #72
Paul Ryan Aerows Sep 2012 #55
Paul Ryan says he went canoeing with Jon Lovitz, from Canada to Africa. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #67
Paul Ryan says he's really Paul Bunyan. nolabear Sep 2012 #59
Paul Ryan says he was the first lumberjack to wear plaid. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #68
Paul Ryan was the first lumberjack to jack lumber frylock Sep 2012 #467
Paul Ryan says his real name is Alisa Zinov'yevna Rosenbaum. n/t RKP5637 Sep 2012 #60
Paul Ryan says that's hot. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #69
LOL! and Paul says just call me Ayn for short, like in Ayn Rand. n/t RKP5637 Sep 2012 #105
Paul Ryan says Aerows Sep 2012 #62
Paul Ryan says he gave them permission to put that scene in Forrest Gump. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #70
Ever wonder what happened to this guy? pa28 Sep 2012 #63
Paul Ryan says he held that tank with sheer strength and that China is still mad at us for it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #71
Not only did Paul Ryan swim the English Channel... Lucy Goosey Sep 2012 #66
Paul Ryan says he swam all the way home with his family on his back. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #73
When Paul Ryan goes for a manicure, they haul out the steel wire cutters. randome Sep 2012 #74
Paul Ryan says he can cut his own nails with his abs. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #78
Paul Ryan carved the Rosetta Stone geardaddy Sep 2012 #75
Paul Ryan says he learned ancient Greek in one day to do that. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #79
Paul Ryan says he invented hieroglyphs. n/t geardaddy Sep 2012 #87
Paul Ryan's navel lint can cure cancer! randome Sep 2012 #76
Paul Ryan says cancer is caused by high taxes and welfare. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #83
Paul Ryan says Aerows Sep 2012 #77
Paul Ryan says he cut down the trees by punching them. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #84
Paul Ryan says Sarah Palin was once a well-spoken, intelligent woman. randome Sep 2012 #80
I saw Paul Ryan in hand to claw combat with a velociraptor lapislzi Sep 2012 #81
Paul Ryan invented the Internet so we could talk about him more! randome Sep 2012 #82
Paul Ryan says he was Marie Laveau’s voodoo king before Handsome Jack and Ronald Reagan MrTriumph Sep 2012 #85
When Paul Ryan takes off his socks, they try to put themselves back on! randome Sep 2012 #86
You know that asteroid that narrowly missed Earth last month? Paul Ryan. randome Sep 2012 #88
The missing dark matter of the Universe has been found... randome Sep 2012 #89
Paul Ryan can hang glide without a glider. randome Sep 2012 #90
Paul Ryan is a part-time exorcist on the side. He just shows up and then goes home. randome Sep 2012 #91
Paul Ryan and his brother Rambis Sep 2012 #92
Paul Ryan is why bats hide in the dark. randome Sep 2012 #93
Paul Ryan floated over Bhutan and they converted to capitalism. HughBeaumont Sep 2012 #94
In grade school, a kid shot a spitball at Paul Ryan. randome Sep 2012 #95
Paul Ryan says he can detect radioactive material by scent. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #96
Julian Assange once accidentally leaked an unauthorized photo of Paul Ryan. randome Sep 2012 #97
Paul Ryan drove this site underground. randome Sep 2012 #98
Paul Ryan doesn't 'tweet'. He 'obliterates'. randome Sep 2012 #99
His fans must live in a sterile corporate bubble Populist_Prole Sep 2012 #100
Paul Ryan won the Civil War single-handedly. n/t geardaddy Sep 2012 #101
The reason Congress gives so much in subsidies to farmers... randome Sep 2012 #102
Paul Ryan says he will change the office of Vice President to the Miami Vice President. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #103
AT&T has an entire department dedicated to giving Paul Ryan's cell phone first rate service! randome Sep 2012 #104
Stephen Hawking thought he had solved the riddle of the Universe. randome Sep 2012 #106
When Paul Ryan cross-dresses, women weep. randome Sep 2012 #107
Paul Ryan says Romney has never contradicted himself. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #108
Paul Ryan says the moon is made of green cheese. KamaAina Sep 2012 #109
When Paul Ryan puts an extracted tooth under his pillow, the Tooth Fairy gives him a blow job! randome Sep 2012 #110
LOL bongbong Sep 2012 #111
Paul Ryan is the reason Godzilla stopped attacking Japan. randome Sep 2012 #112
Paul Ryan says he can touch magma without getting burned. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #113
Paul Ryan and Tommy Flanagan are both married to Morgan Fairchild. lumberjack_jeff Sep 2012 #114
Paul Ryan says, "I'm Paul Ryan." And people run! randome Sep 2012 #115
Paul Ryan says he can drink as much alcohol as he wants and still drive perfectly. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #116
Paul Ryan put his parents in a nursing home. And then put the nursing home on Mount Olympus! randome Sep 2012 #117
Paul Ryan eliminated the letter '~' from the alphabet! randome Sep 2012 #118
Paul Ryan owns the copyright to the alphabet. -..__... Sep 2012 #424
Paul Ryan can't swim in lakes because his sweat will instantly brine all the ducks. flvegan Sep 2012 #119
Paul Ryan says that song is about him, but he's not vain. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #120
Paul Ryan says he will be Vice-President. WinkyDink Sep 2012 #121
The recent earthquakes in Indonesia were caused by one of Paul Ryan's farts! randome Sep 2012 #122
Paul Ryan was the inspiration for comic book character Wolverine Hugabear Sep 2012 #123
Wait! What? Paul Ryan is actually Chuck Norris???! Matariki Sep 2012 #124
Chuck Norris? PFAH! Chuck Norris calls Paul Ryan for hints Buns_of_Fire Sep 2012 #199
Paul Ryan Aerows Sep 2012 #313
Paul Ryan slapped Superman until he cried, then stole his cape. Ikonoklast Sep 2012 #125
Paul Ryan replied to this message. randome Sep 2012 #126
When Paul Ryan heard the Soviet Union shot a puppy into space, he broke it up! randome Sep 2012 #127
Paul Ryan's urine is highly anabolic, on the World Anti-Doping Agency's banned substance list. flvegan Sep 2012 #128
Paul Ryan says he makes his own flour by round kicking wheat. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #129
Paul Ryan communicates with whales. Every time he goes to New Jersey! randome Sep 2012 #130
Paul Ryan says he can play Metallica on guitar - with his lips. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #131
Paul Ryan says Aerows Sep 2012 #132
Paul Ryan says he will decriminalize marijuana so that he can recriminalize it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #134
If Paul Ryan truly wanted to pass a bill... randome Sep 2012 #135
Chuck Norris is not amused. nt Javaman Sep 2012 #136
Paul Ryan says he called permanent shotgun. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #137
The Sun never rises until it checks with Paul Ryan first. randome Sep 2012 #138
Paul Ryan completely understood LOST. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #139
LOL smackd Sep 2012 #316
Paul Ryan says he can break your arms with just a thought Taverner Sep 2012 #140
Lips of lyin' and sh-- for brains Thinkingabout Sep 2012 #141
Paul Ryan's spellchecker NEVER reports an issue! randome Sep 2012 #142
There is a secret underground bunker where Paul Ryan masturbates. randome Sep 2012 #143
"The Pope told Ryan it was okay to have a mistress." bullwinkle428 Sep 2012 #144
Paul Ryan designed Microsoft's new Metro OS. randome Sep 2012 #145
Paul Ryan says Firefly was NOT canceled. randome Sep 2012 #146
Paul Ryan is the reason Doctor Who won't stay in one place! randome Sep 2012 #147
Paul Ryan can make a swan scream. randome Sep 2012 #148
Paul Ryan found Princess Peach in the first castle. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #149
I think he was either very scrawny or overweight when he was a kid and in HS loyalsister Sep 2012 #150
Paul Ryan CAN piss six feet in the air without getting wet. HughBeaumont Sep 2012 #151
Paul Ryan is the result of a one-night stand between Bill Brasky and Chuck Norris. MjolnirTime Sep 2012 #152
Paul Ryan guided Apollo 11 to a safe landing. By pointing. randome Sep 2012 #153
Paul Ryan says he only drinks 200% milk. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #154
Paul Ryan says he fills his own cavities by chewing on silver. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #156
Paul Ryan's security clearance says 'Paul Ryan'. randome Sep 2012 #155
Here's a good one. Paul Ryan walks into this bar... randome Sep 2012 #157
Paul Ryan says the fifth letter of his name is both silent and invisible. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #158
Paul Ryan's calendar is ALWAYS open. And has 22 months. randome Sep 2012 #159
Time flows in only one direction. Whichever way Paul Ryan happens to be facing! randome Sep 2012 #160
The molecules in Paul Ryan's body cannot be divided into anything smaller. randome Sep 2012 #161
Paul Ryan says he's gonna come at you like a spider monkey! Like a spider monkey! n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #162
I love you guys. renie408 Sep 2012 #163
Paul Ryan made the Kessel Run in less than EIGHT parsecs. flvegan Sep 2012 #164
Paul Ryan knows the last digit of pi. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #165
Paul Ryan once defeated the Dallas Cowboys in a pre-season game... randome Sep 2012 #166
Paul Ryan is the only thing the Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger gives a shit about. flvegan Sep 2012 #167
LOL! smirkymonkey Sep 2012 #332
ROTFLMAO Aeroette Sep 2012 #340
The pirate Captain Agorn once ran afoul of Paul Ryan. randome Sep 2012 #168
Paul Ryan says he makes mustaches cool without even growning one. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #169
Paul Ryan says he can juice a diamond. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #172
Count to one. You still won't be fast enough to stop Paul Ryan! randome Sep 2012 #170
The Human Centipede was Paul Ryan's idea. randome Sep 2012 #171
Paul Ryan built Mary Shelley. randome Sep 2012 #173
Paul Ryan says everywhere he's slept, he's lied. pnwest Sep 2012 #174
Paul Ryan lights candles by threatening to cut their funding! randome Sep 2012 #175
Paul Ryan says he can browbeat a kodiac bear into cuddling with him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #176
The Church of Paul Ryan is all you need to know. Ever. About anything. randome Sep 2012 #177
Paul Ryan's fantasy football team has a 45,000 seat stadium. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #178
"If I had a hammer..." randome Sep 2012 #179
Paul Ryan once made a man LITERALLY pull himself up by his bootstraps! randome Sep 2012 #180
They use Ryan's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Miller Park. bullwinkle428 Sep 2012 #181
Paul Ryan cut NASA funding because he can toss their next probe to Mars for free. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #182
Paul Ryan says he's the reason Spanish is a Romance language. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #183
Paul Ryan's manicurist is a fireman with advanced experience with the Jaws of Life. flvegan Sep 2012 #184
When Paul Ryan laughs out loud, everyone temporarily forgets the number '4'. randome Sep 2012 #185
Paul Ryan scrubs his toilets with the maid. For fun. randome Sep 2012 #186
When Paul Ryan sings a lullaby, coma patients wake up! randome Sep 2012 #188
Paul Ryan farts in four part harmony. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #189
Paul Ryan never claps out of fear of creating strangelets. flvegan Sep 2012 #190
Paul Ryan doesn't NEED a keyboard for his iPad. It does what he tells it to do! randome Sep 2012 #191
Paul Ryan says only HE can prevent forest fires. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #192
Paul Ryan used his xray vision to see Kate Middleton's breasts months ago. flvegan Sep 2012 #193
Paul Ryan's phone number is unlisted. randome Sep 2012 #194
Paul Ryan read the Bible. Jesus lived, blew up Rome and scored with Mary Magdalene. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #195
Paul Ryan eats nothing but sunshine and air. randome Sep 2012 #196
Paul Ryan says St. Paul was named after him. nt tblue37 Sep 2012 #197
Paul Ryan could end global warming by using a hand fan 30 minutes per day. flvegan Sep 2012 #198
Paul Ryan's birthday is tomorrow. And the next day. And the next. randome Sep 2012 #200
so? riverbendviewgal Sep 2012 #201
Paul Ryan's mother is the galaxy Andromeda. He doesn't speak about his father. randome Sep 2012 #202
Paul Ryan's shoelaces are the basis of String Theory. randome Sep 2012 #203
Paul Ryan Week is replacing Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. flvegan Sep 2012 #204
Too late. The Discovery Channel is being replaced by The Paul Ryan Channel. Buns_of_Fire Sep 2012 #211
Paul Ryan hasn't told George RR Martin who Jon Snow's parents really are yet. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #205
The Hubble telescope spontaneously fixed itself when Paul Ryan came in its sights. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #206
Steve Jobs once requested a favor from Paul Ryan. We all know what happened to him! randome Sep 2012 #207
Paul Ryan can clap with one hand. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #208
In sand volleyball, when Paul Ryan spikes the ball, people die. randome Sep 2012 #209
Paul Ryan's car elevator is his own two arms. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #210
Paul Ryan is the king lording over The Knights Who Say Ni. flvegan Sep 2012 #212
Paul Ryan knows the airspeed velocity of any species of swallow. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #217
Paul Ryan was the slayer of the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh flvegan Sep 2012 #224
Paul Ryan does routines and chorus scenes with footwork im-pec-able. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #310
Mitt Romney is Paul Ryan's idea of a practical joke! randome Sep 2012 #213
As a child, Paul Ryan flew a kite to the Moon! randome Sep 2012 #214
Paul Ryan says he's never wrong, he's just greater degrees of right. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #215
Time and tide do wait for Paul Ryan. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #216
Paul Ryan's heart beats twice as fast as a hummingbird's! randome Sep 2012 #218
Paul Ryan knows if Schrodinger's cat is alive or not! randome Sep 2012 #222
But is resting heart rate is 5 because of his extreme level of fitness. Evasporque Sep 2012 #253
Paul Ryan says he's discovered a new element and named it ryaninium... porphyrian Sep 2012 #219
Paul Ryan says he eats Nigerian "yellow cake" uranium on his birthday deutsey Sep 2012 #220
Paul Ryan can eat just one potato chip. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #221
Paul Ryan flipped the switch when God said "Let there be light." LeftyMom Sep 2012 #223
When Paul Ryan draws a line in the sand... randome Sep 2012 #225
Paul Ryan can split atoms through mere suggestion. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #226
Paul Ryan says he can bend light around his bicep. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #227
"Paul Ryan" should always appear in bold type and size 5000 font! randome Sep 2012 #228
Children don't make noise in Paul Ryan's neighborhood. randome Sep 2012 #229
Paul Ryan says he can do sit-ups all day without farting at all. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #230
Paul Ryan says he will calm the Middle East by playing a metal ballad solo. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #231
Paul Ryan doesn't need to recycle anything. He just eats it and excretes rainbows! randome Sep 2012 #232
Habanero peppers start to weep when they get a whiff of Paul Ryan. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #233
Paul Ryan says he was on every episode of Romper Room. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #234
Paul Ryan got high once. The result was a platypus! randome Sep 2012 #235
Paul Ryan says he only uses mirrors for trick shots. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #236
Paul Ryan's former black girlfriend was Asian when she started. randome Sep 2012 #237
Paul Ryan says pi is equal to 3. KamaAina Sep 2012 #238
Paul Ryan is a free wi-fi hotspot for up to 15 nearby users. flvegan Sep 2012 #239
Paul Ryan says fundamentalists follow his word to the letter. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #240
Paul Ryan punched Mitch McConnell's chin clean off his face! randome Sep 2012 #241
Paul Ryan is the Walrus. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #242
Paul Ryan says he always gets a discount without the coupon. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #243
Paul Ryan wears color contacts to make his eyes less blue. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #244
Paul Ryan discovered Cheap Trick at the Waukesha Bowl....nt Evasporque Sep 2012 #245
Paul Ryan was EVERYONE's date for Prom Night. Including the teachers. randome Sep 2012 #246
Paul Ryan wrote the dirty lyrics to "Louie, Louie" LeftyMom Sep 2012 #247
Ryan asked me one time if I wanted to join him for a drink. We go off looking bullwinkle428 Sep 2012 #248
Paul Ryan speaks fluent Vulcan. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #249
Oscar Mayer weiners wish they were Paul Ryan. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #250
Paul Ryan says he can produce chocolate breast milk for starving babies. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #251
Paul Ryan's coffee is so strong, he drinks it from a cup made of nuclear fuel rods! randome Sep 2012 #252
Paul Ryan broke Hank Aaron's homerun record in a single season of baseball. flvegan Sep 2012 #254
Paul Ryan says he creates the lag you experience when gaming online. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #255
Paul Ryan says Facebook stocks dropped because he logged out. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #256
Paul Ryan ended world hunger by playing Farmville. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #258
Mars was once teeming with life. But Paul Ryan packed everything up and moved it here instead! randome Sep 2012 #257
Paul Ryan says his pet panther uses a litter box filled with human skulls. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #259
Paul Ryan says he stopped a tornado by turning the other way. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #261
The gods are not amused. They are frightened of Paul Ryan! randome Sep 2012 #260
Parallel lines intersect for Paul Ryan. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #262
Paul Ryan doesn't wipe himself. He still smells like roses and honeysuckle! randome Sep 2012 #263
Paul Ryan's twin sister was Phyllis Diller. She had a traumatic childhood. randome Sep 2012 #264
Paul Ryan lifted the lintels up on Stonehenge for the Druids. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #265
Ripley would rather face the alien queen than Paul Ryan! randome Sep 2012 #266
Paul Ryan CAN divide by zero. Amaril Sep 2012 #267
Paul Ryan says he leads in the polls in the states of solid, liquid and gas. Plasma is iffy. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #268
Paul Ryan beat both Kasparov and Deep Blue in chess! Blindfolded! randome Sep 2012 #269
Paul Ryan says he can break a chain letter and you will have bad luck. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #270
Paul Ryan can tug on Superman's cape, he can spit into the wind, he can pull the mask Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #271
Paul Ryan has many leather-bound books and his apartment smells of rich mahogany flvegan Sep 2012 #272
Paul Ryan says he speaks telepathically, just like that. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #273
Paul Ryan doesn't believe in Evolution. Nothing led to him and nothing leaves. randome Sep 2012 #274
Paul Ryan says he got DeLorean busted so his car would be worth more. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #275
Paul Ryan changed the answer to Life, the Universe & Everything Amaril Sep 2012 #276
Paul Ryan says he can burn calories outside of his body. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #277
Paul Ryan says he knows exactly where Sopchoppy is. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #278
This message was self-deleted by its author littlemissmartypants Sep 2012 #279
Onions cry in Paul Ryan's presence. randome Sep 2012 #280
Paul Ryan doesn't need to mow his lawns. He trained the squirrels and rabbits to do that for him. randome Sep 2012 #281
Paul Ryan's brain is a tesseract AND a moebius strip! randome Sep 2012 #282
Paul Ryan says he is The Creator in the new American mythology. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #283
He also has lyin' lips and sh-- for brains Thinkingabout Sep 2012 #284
Paul Ryan joined a dating service once. No woman thought she was good enough. randome Sep 2012 #285
Paul Ryan knows if Santa has been naughty or nice. randome Sep 2012 #286
Paul Ryan says he'll use nanotechnology to create a smaller government. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #287
An African swallow once carried Paul Ryan across the Atlantic! randome Sep 2012 #288
Paul Ryan says he is the law. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #289
Paul Ryan says he uses a comb with real teeth. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #290
The three little pigs are more afraid of Paul Ryan than the big, bad wolf! randome Sep 2012 #291
Car alarms go off in Paul Ryan's presence! randome Sep 2012 #292
Paul Ryan says he can survive for a year on only water and the sorrow of starving children. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #293
Paul Ryan says he did expect the Spanish Inquisition. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #294
Paul Ryan says we can all drive home now! randome Sep 2012 #295
Heh, heh. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #296
But can he beat up Chuck Norris? There's a right wing wedge issue for ya'. hughee99 Sep 2012 #297
When Rick Astley clicks on a link, he gets Ryan-rolled. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #298
Paul Ryan wrote the Book of Love. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #299
When Jesus takes communion, the priest turns the host into Paul Ryan's body. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #300
Paul Ryan Never Gets Jet Lag Yavin4 Sep 2012 #301
Paul Ryan's Real Name is Dick Whitman n/t Yavin4 Sep 2012 #302
Bigfoot and Nessie hope to spot Paul Ryan one day. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #303
Paul Ryan's Magic 8 Ball always says 'Yes'. randome Sep 2012 #304
Paul Ryan says Rachel Maddow would be cute if she were a Conservative. randome Sep 2012 #305
At 7 years of age, Paul Ryan sold his own urine at a lemonade stand. randome Sep 2012 #306
Other than my own Twitter account... randome Sep 2012 #307
Simon says, "What does Paul Ryan say?" randome Sep 2012 #308
Che Guevera wears t-shirts with Paul Ryan's face on them. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #309
Paul Ryan can cure scrofula Generic Other Sep 2012 #311
Paul Ryan was the model for Michelangelo's statue of David. randome Sep 2012 #312
Bump for justice! \O/ cecilfirefox Sep 2012 #314
Paul Ryan has seen the tax returns. randome Sep 2012 #315
Paul Ryan invented sausage when he threw a cow through a chain link fence. Systematic Chaos Sep 2012 #317
Paul Ryan doesn't get wet; water gets Paul Ryan. Systematic Chaos Sep 2012 #318
Muhammed Ali recently conceded that Paul Ryan is actually the greatest. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #319
Paul Ryan says his other car is a battleship. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #320
Hendrix was wrong. The wind cries "Paul Ryan." Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #321
Paul Ryan ended famine in Africa by playing Farmville for an hour. Systematic Chaos Sep 2012 #322
Paul Ryan checks for duplicates. LeftyMom Sep 2012 #323
Well then Paul Ryan can give HIMSELF ocular cancer by scanning this entire list. Systematic Chaos Sep 2012 #329
In 1999, Paul Ryan could get online with AOL instantly. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #324
Paul Ryan posted the video on YouTube. randome Sep 2012 #325
At 2 a.m. bartenders tell Paul Ryan that he doesn't have to go home and he CAN stay there. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #326
"The Guinness Book of World Records" is changing its name to "Paul Ryan's Diary". Systematic Chaos Sep 2012 #327
Paul Ryan says he was the first to successfully send a V17 route in the 70's... Earth_First Sep 2012 #328
Paul Ryan says that when he eats out, the wait staff tips him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #330
A guy that is that taken by himself has secrets that will come out. bluestate10 Sep 2012 #331
Paul Ryan says his smile makes roses bloom. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #333
Paul Ryan says he can cook minute rice in two seconds. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #334
Paul Ryan says he never gets sick because bacteria obey him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #335
Paul Ryan says ice is just water that's too lazy to move. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #336
Paul Ryan says he can flatten a train with a penny. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #337
Paul Ryan says he knew that article in The Onion was just a joke. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #338
Paul Ryan underestimated the number of mountains he's climbed. randome Sep 2012 #339
Paul Ryan says he gets Yahtzee every time he throws the dice. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #341
Paul Ryan's ant farm was the inspiration for the movie 'Them!' randome Sep 2012 #342
Paul Ryan says the homeless are happy to carry him around the city on his throne. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #343
Paul Ryan says Babe Ruth collected his signature. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #344
Paul Ryan's hair has its own Congressional staffers. randome Sep 2012 #345
Paul Ryan says his name is a killing word. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #346
Paul Ryan had Bluetooth implanted in both ears. randome Sep 2012 #347
Paul Ryan injured thirty seven bulls during the 'Running of the Bulls'. randome Sep 2012 #348
Paul Ryan says that he mints his own currency legally, but gay marriage devalues it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #349
When Paul Ryan goes swimming Robyn66 Sep 2012 #350
Paul Ryan says that when he does push ups, Earth's magnetic poles waver. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #351
Paul Ryan already solved the Middle East conflict. randome Sep 2012 #352
Paul Ryan is hired by Sherpas to haul their stuff up Everest. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #353
Paul Ryan says he READ Ulysses. nolabear Sep 2012 #354
Paul Ryan not only read Ulysses, Paul Ryan understood Ulysses. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #357
I was thinking the same thing! randome Sep 2012 #364
Paul Ryan killed Jason Bourne. randome Sep 2012 #355
Paul Ryan says he has no intention of running for God, but really already is. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #356
When in bed with a lover, God cries out "Oh Paul Ryan!" Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #358
GPS asks Paul Ryan for directions. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #359
Paul Ryan says he has a missle in his back yard, but you can't look at it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #360
Paul Ryan was the first man to have sex with Sinn Sage - ON CAMERA derby378 Sep 2012 #361
Paul Ryan is the most common cause of erectile dysfunction. randome Sep 2012 #362
Paul Ryan says that he can make an origami axe and chop firewood with it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #363
Paul Ryan decided the Chicago teachers' strike. randome Sep 2012 #365
Paul Ryan does not photograph well. randome Sep 2012 #366
Paul Ryan says he can see Russia from here because he has 1/1 vision. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #367
When Paul Ryan break-dances, the pavement melts. randome Sep 2012 #368
Paul Ryan says he always has change for a thousand. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #369
Paul Ryan says he takes No-Doze to go to sleep. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #370
When the lights go out...Paul Ryan still SHINES! randome Sep 2012 #371
Paul Ryan says he is building a pyramid in Wisconsin to hold his mummified remains when he dies. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #372
Paul Ryan says he is the world, he is the children. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #373
Paul Ryan says he already has an iPhone 6. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #374
Batman is afraid of Paul Ryan. So is Bane. randome Sep 2012 #375
If you want to get rich, invite Paul Ryan to a backyard barbeque. randome Sep 2012 #376
Paul Ryan says, "Be healed!" and the crippled walk again. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #377
Paul Ryan says his bite turns zombies into him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #378
Paul Ryan says he can still save his campaign, but thinks better of it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #379
Paul Ryan uses a silver spoon to eat everything - the one up rMoney's a$$ Tyrs WolfDaemon Sep 2012 #380
Paul Ryan says he found the recipe for the perfect beer and burned it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #381
Paul Ryan says taxis fight to give him a ride. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #382
Paul Ryan says he is the mother of all genetic diversity. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #383
Paul Ryan says that he will grant you three wishes if you rub it. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #384
Paul Ryan says he sold Rev. Sharpton the bridge he keeps trying to sell. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #385
Paul Ryan sez he can connect to teh interwebs wif his mindz so he can has all teh knowing. pnwest Sep 2012 #386
If any Republicans/Conservatives read this, remember... randome Sep 2012 #387
Paul Ryan PUT that pancake on that bunny's head. randome Sep 2012 #388
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, Paul Ryan can hear it anyway. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #389
Paul Ryan says he freed the slaves; twice. SaveAmerica Sep 2012 #391
Paul Ryan says he wrote the Constitution while building the white house and giving birth to George SaveAmerica Sep 2012 #392
Paul Ryan says he carved the shape of the US with his teeth SaveAmerica Sep 2012 #393
Paul Ryan built that. theKed Sep 2012 #394
Out of Legos! randome Sep 2012 #395
Paul Ryan says he eats bald eagle omelettes for breakfast. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #396
Paul Ryan says that when a mosquito bites him, it turns into a butterfly. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #397
Paul Ryan says he doesn't wear underwear, he is swathed in radiant energy generated by exercise. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #398
Paul Ryan says he forgave Jesus and made him cry. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #399
Paul Ryan says he designed Helvetica. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #400
Paul Ryan says he can outrun a bullet train on a unicycle - backwards. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #401
Paul Ryan dresses as Paul Ryan for Halloween! randome Sep 2012 #402
Paul Ryan went to a Motorhead concert and Lemmy left the stage. HughBeaumont Sep 2012 #403
Paul Ryan doesn't just 'take' a shower. The shower first has to show how much it wants him. randome Sep 2012 #404
Paul Ryan says Cheney shot him while hunting, too, but his body metabolized the buckshot. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #405
Paul Ryan says that the global demonstations are really his fans trying to touch him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #406
Paul Ryan says he can stack cups faster than that kid. Full cups. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #407
Paul Ryan can curl 300 tons with one hand. HughBeaumont Sep 2012 #408
Paul Ryan says that during Hands Across America, he closed a gap across three counties. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #409
Paul Ryan says that when he Googles "facials" or "watersports," he never gets porn results. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #410
Paul Ryan is so interesting... -..__... Sep 2012 #411
Paul Ryan says there are no secret videos of him because he can disrupt electronics at will. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #412
Paul Ryan says there is no Alpha and Omega... Amaril Sep 2012 #413
Paul Ryan says he made Coke switch back to its original formula. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #414
Paul Ryan ran yesphan Sep 2012 #415
Paul Ryan says he raised Atlantis from the sea. It is now called, "Europe." n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #416
Paul Ryans phone number is 1 -..__... Sep 2012 #417
Paul Ryan's poop is being used as currency in Argentina. bullwinkle428 Sep 2012 #418
Paul Ryan doesn't find Waldo... -..__... Sep 2012 #419
Paul Ryan doesn't fear for the future, he changes the past. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #420
Paul Ryan's flatulence was bottled and sold as Chanel No 6 -..__... Sep 2012 #421
Paul Ryan gets every "Wheel of Fortune" question correct, with only 1 letter on the board. -..__... Sep 2012 #422
Paul Ryan says he never buys vowels. They are donated to him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #425
Even Paul Ryans dog has an aircraft carrier named after him. -..__... Sep 2012 #423
Paul Ryan says Romney has done a good job of damage control, then laughs. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #426
When President Obama says he's the President of ALL Americans... randome Sep 2012 #427
The reason the expansion of the Universe is accelerating: fear of Paul Ryan! randome Sep 2012 #428
While waiting at the DMV, Paul Ryan is given a foot bath and neck massage. randome Sep 2012 #429
Paul Ryan returned all the SS Money he mooched - He paid it back to himself to be safe n/t Tsiyu Sep 2012 #430
Paul Ryan says he has opened a new bank. It is called, "The Bahamas." n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #431
Paul Ryan says he is the Big Paul Theory and God SaveAmerica Sep 2012 #432
Paul Ryan says he wears a disguise to church so that people won't worship him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #433
Paul Ryan once tripped on a rock and got himself pregnant. randome Sep 2012 #434
There is no Congressional gridlock. There is only Paul Ryan's hypnotic stare! randome Sep 2012 #435
Paul Ryan says he is proposing legislation to balance the budget by taxing China. He likes jade. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #436
Paul Ryan says he is close with the Romneys because their ancestors rode dinosaurs together. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #437
Paul Ryan says the 47% figure is actually low, given the attendance at the country club. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #438
Paul Ryan says that there are no disabled people, just some that are extra lazy. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #439
Paul Ryan killed Bambi's mother. randome Sep 2012 #440
Paul Ryan says he's against cloning because two of him would disrupt the time/space continuum. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #441
The Incredible Hulk is Paul Ryan's footstool! randome Sep 2012 #442
Paul Ryan says the Pope kisses his ring on visits. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #443
Paul Ryan says he doesn't put milk in his coffee, he uses butter. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #444
The Umbrella Corporation is owned by Paul Ryan. randome Sep 2012 #445
Paul Ryan sweetens his tea with the blood of baby seals. randome Sep 2012 #446
Paul Ryan says he would support farmers if the government would just give him a fief. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #447
Paul Ryan says he can rap. porphyrian Sep 2012 #448
Paul Ryan says he gave the cursed tiki to the Bradys. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #449
Paul Ryan says he's a family man; the Bush family, the Cheney family, the Perle family... n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #450
Paul Ryan's pubic hair was used for the Stradivarius. randome Sep 2012 #451
Paul Ryan says poverty is easily cured - send the poor to war. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #452
Paul Ryan says that he can get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop in one lick. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #453
Paul Ryan says MMA fights are too girly. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #454
Paul Ryan wrote the final episode of Battlestar Galactica. randome Sep 2012 #455
Paul Ryan says he doesn't support white supremacists, he just takes their money. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #456
Paul Ryan's farts turn into living beings aint_no_life_nowhere Sep 2012 #457
That explains so much! randome Sep 2012 #459
The stinkiest flower in the world, the Titan Arum from Indonesia... randome Sep 2012 #458
Paul Ryan says that you wouldn't need health care if you would just work out more, fatty. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #460
Paul Ryan says that he supports small businesses, as long as they are owned by large ones. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #461
Paul Ryan says that his economic plans are 100% effective for at least 1% of Americans. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #462
Paul Ryan says he doesn't age, he ripens. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #463
Paul Ryan says he can still convice you to vote for him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #464
Paul Ryan says he was the first person ever to yell "Free Bird!" deutsey Sep 2012 #470
Paul Ryan says he's climbed every mountain...on Mars. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #471
(randome's daughter here, couldn't resist) randome Sep 2012 #472
Nice. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #473
Paul Ryan says HE built this city on rock and roll. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #474
Paul Ryan says when there's a bustle in his hedgerow he doesn't get alarmed. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #484
Paul Ryan defended Czechoslovakia when Obama abandoned it. Initech Sep 2012 #475
My Paul Ryan can beat up your Paul Ryan as he runs up a mountain 2 Botany Sep 2012 #476
Paul Ryan says he inspired "Atlas Shrugged." n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #477
Paul Ryan says he modeled for the original Atlas statue. n/t geardaddy Sep 2012 #478
Paul Ryan says the biceps should have been bigger, though. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #479
Paul Ryan says Charles Atlas is insanely jealous of Paul Ryan's physique. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #485
Paul Ryan THREW Icarus into the Sun! randome Sep 2012 #480
...but the Sun did not melt Icarus' wings, Paul Ryan's Objectivist radiance did. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #481
Paul Ryan says he's going to kick the droopy, wrinkly asses of the AARP seniors who just booed him. Arugula Latte Sep 2012 #482
Paul Ryan says he is not the second coming of Jesus because he is not so forgiving. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #483
Paul Ryan says he's not an obstuctionist, he's giving legislation the freedom to fail. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #486
Paul Ryan says he didn't need those old people votes anyway. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #487
Paul Ryan says he was in Pink Floyd's "The Wall." porphyrian Sep 2012 #488
I don't know how to respond to this. randome Sep 2012 #492
... porphyrian Sep 2012 #495
I think something is leaking behind my eyes. randome Sep 2012 #503
Yeah, it's a masterpiece. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #504
Paul Ryan says Romney's skin wasn't dyed, he has facial chromophores. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #489
Paul Ryan says he is watching you poop. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #490
Pyan says if he lived in Michigan he would call himself Wolverine Ryan... WCGreen Sep 2012 #491
Paul Ryan says he has a mascot: himself. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #493
Paul Ryan thinks hes the coolest politician that ever came from Janesville,Wisconsin... undeterred Sep 2012 #494
Paul Ryan says that he created the first spork while working at NASA. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #496
"He's more machine now than man.... Proud Liberal Dem Sep 2012 #497
Paul Ryan says all roads lead to him. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #498
Paul Ryan says fuck milk, he does a body good. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #499
Paul Ryan says he CAN pick a friend's nose. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #500
Paul Ryan invented Chuck Norris, demwing Sep 2012 #501
Paul Ryan says he did all of Norris' stunts in "Good Guys Wear Black," too. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #502
Paul Ryan says that if you support Obama, Jesus will eat a puppy. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #506
Paul Ryan says republicans aren't crying, they're cleansing their eyes of Democratic success. n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #507
Paul Ryan says polls are for losing losers and you're FAT!!! n/t porphyrian Sep 2012 #508
Paul Ryans says that wasn't a small audience at his speech, it was only those strong enough to be... porphyrian Oct 2012 #509
Paul Ryan says he's so good a ninja, you can't even tell he's wearing a ninja suit. n/t porphyrian Oct 2012 #510
Has it been a year already? My, how time flies. randome Oct 2013 #511
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