Moms Covid - update :(

[Ms. Toad]

41. I'm sorry you are going through this. It's hard enough making decisions for ourselves -

Let alone for our loved ones.

Fortunately, I haven't actually had to make any decisions yet - but (also fortunately) we talk about things like this in our family.

It will be so much easier for me to make decisions because we talk openly about end of life decisions in our family. I know that my mom does not want to be intubated. Period. No CPR. No extraordinary measures. If she's ever no longer mentally present, she doesn't want to be physically present. My father wants the decision made based on whether he is likely to have good days post illness. If he can't play in the dirt, or have thoughtful problem-solving conversations with others he doesn't want extraordinary measures. If there's a 50%+ chance he'll have those things later - he wants us to make the effort. I'm the secondary decision-maker for my father, and my father has to have my consent to authorize life-extending care for my mother (since my mother is afraid he will not be able to make the decision to let her go).

It's tough - but at least when I'm grieving the life-threatening condition, I don't have to wonder whether I'm doing what my parents want.