CNN: White House contracted for deep cleaning after Trump leaves...

[Totally Tunsie]

81. Let's hope they heed urban legends:

According to someone who knows someone who knows someone, a recently divorced woman had to give up her home and all its furnishings as part of her divorce settlement. She packed her personal belongings into boxes, garment bags and suitcases. Then, she sat down for a farewell meal in what had once been her happy home. She put candles on the dining room table, soft music on the CD player, and laid out a feast of shrimp, caviar and champagne.

When she had finished, she walked around her home for one last time. She went into each and every room and focused on the happy memories. And then she deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. Then she cleaned up the kitchen, put her things into a U-Haul and left.

The next day, her ex-husband and his new girlfriend moved into the home. All was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything: cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam-cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. They moved out for a few days while exterminators set off gas canisters. They replaced the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, the local real estate agents would not return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to buy a new place.

The ex-wife called her ex-husband and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the smelly house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to buy the house, even though it obviously had some kind of a problem. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was a 10th of what the house had been worth -- but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home. Including the curtain rods.

https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2004-09-24-0409230438-story.html