'She's Eating A Muffin In The Commissary,' Posts Boebert Continuing To Livetweet Pelosi's Location

[Pantagruel]

17. Hard to satirize Boebert

when she does such a good job demeaning herself:

"Republican CD-3 candidate Lauren Boebert’s husband arrested in ’04 for indecent exposure to a minor
by Anne Landman • October 30, 2020 • 78 Comments

Lauren Boebert (formerly Lauren Roberts) and Jayson Boebert

A Garfield County Sheriff’s Office arrest report (pdf) has surfaced showing Lauren Boebert’s husband, Jayson, was arrested on January 28, 2004 for exposing his penis to young women at the Rifle Fireside Lanes Bowling Alley.

One of the victims was a minor who was 16 years old.

Lauren married Jayson in 2005, one and a half years after the indecent exposure incident.


According to the arrest affidavit (pdf), at about 7:00 p.m. that evening, the young women were standing at the snack bar discussing their tattoos when Jayson, standing several feet away, overheard the conversation and informed them that he had a tattoo on his genitals. The women turned their backs towards Jayson to ignore him, but Jayson then came up behind them, unzipped his pants, pulled his penis out and displayed the shaft to them with his thumb covering the head. The women complained to the bowling alley owner, who asked Jayson several times to leave the establishment. Jayson refused and became belligerent, leading the owner to call law enforcement. According to the arrest report, the officer detected the smell of alcohol on Jayson, and Jayson admitted he had been drinking.

Two females described the incident to Garfield County Sheriff officers and signed witness statements leading to Jayson’s arrest. Jayson told the officers that he had “displayed his thumb pretending it was his genitals in a gesture of fun,” according to the report, but one of the victims wrote in her statement, “I know that wasn’t his thumb, because thumbs aren’t 6 inches long.”