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Bayard

(30,246 posts)
19. We wished we hadn't put our folks in assisted living
Thu Apr 15, 2021, 10:32 AM
Apr 2021

But we had a doctor threatening with elder abuse if we didn't. My Mom had Alzheimers, and my Dad had a stroke several years earlier, unable to move on right side. They had someone coming in once a week, and since I was still in Calif then, my brother traveled 100 miles round trip every other day to go check on them.

The facility was new, very nice, they had adjoining rooms, but my Dad was miserable. He wanted to go home. A couple months after moving in, he passed away. My Mom lasted several years, and until she became really paranoid, liked the socializing.

I'm not going anywhere. I have my farm, and my animals, my gardens, and my woods. I am extremely active at 64 years, and can still heft a 50 pound bale of hay pretty easily.

I say--good for you, CTyankee! You go, girl!

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

You are absolutely right that staying at home is the answer. drray23 Apr 2021 #1
💐🥰💐 blm Apr 2021 #2
It sounds like you are doing all the right things to stay at home! Cousin Dupree Apr 2021 #3
I'm betting people who go to live in elder care facilities never go back to their homes either. jaxexpat Apr 2021 #14
It happened to my mother in the assisted living facilty! She slipped in the bathroom, broke her CTyankee Apr 2021 #25
That made me laugh! lunatica Apr 2021 #41
LOL. Bless her heart! Cousin Dupree Apr 2021 #49
John Oliver's deep dive on long term care facilities worth the watch mdelaguna Apr 2021 #4
Here's the video for those who missed it: Rhiannon12866 Apr 2021 #48
I think of people like you when I see those, "at no cost to you", "we'll even bill your Medicare" brewens Apr 2021 #5
Mom and dad had to go to assisted living in their late 80s multigraincracker Apr 2021 #6
Wow that's really sad. I wish there would be a big boom in creating better Laura PourMeADrink Apr 2021 #13
You'll like this, and hopefully Manchin will too Submariner Apr 2021 #21
Yes heard that! Not sure how many people actually pay for Laura PourMeADrink Apr 2021 #42
Heck with Uber and Lyft now, who needs to be able to drive? Native Apr 2021 #46
We both drive, but not after dark. CTyankee Apr 2021 #26
Dad had glaucoma and mom had dementia. multigraincracker Apr 2021 #36
Yes, I know about glaucoma. I take medication for my eyes but I just had an eye exam and my CTyankee Apr 2021 #39
Dad had glaucoma for 20 years and lost all of his vision multigraincracker Apr 2021 #45
I have a follow up appt. next month which I will not brush off. The meds are expensive but worth CTyankee Apr 2021 #50
There are other choices. mahina Apr 2021 #7
Both of my parents late 80s. Mom and sister wanted to put dad in a nursing home. Myself Solomon Apr 2021 #8
Kudos to you and family. Wish we had done that but Laura PourMeADrink Apr 2021 #15
Stairs Roy Rolling Apr 2021 #9
Stairs are good. I'm 75, and I go down and up the stairs to my basement office MineralMan Apr 2021 #10
Thank you for starting this thread. What type of nonprofit? lostnfound Apr 2021 #11
The agency might actually have a live in component on site. I don't know. CTyankee Apr 2021 #27
Good for you. If I might add one thing to consider -- balance. Pobeka Apr 2021 #12
Good for you!!!! GumboYaYa Apr 2021 #16
Writing your second book - Mme. Defarge Apr 2021 #17
My daughter who is a graphics artist read some of my art essays right here at DU and wanted to CTyankee Apr 2021 #28
I am SO IMPRESSED! Mme. Defarge Apr 2021 #34
Home confinement can be deadly to soul and body. CTyankee Apr 2021 #37
De rien, Ma Belle! Mme. Defarge Apr 2021 #38
the MFA is open in Boston. Daughter and I went a few weeks ago to its Monet exhibit. CTyankee Apr 2021 #40
I'm so glad it's working for you. OnionPatch Apr 2021 #18
The stationary bike is helpful for the knees. I got one suitable for elderly people. CTyankee Apr 2021 #31
I HATE those machines that yell at you. OnionPatch Apr 2021 #43
We wished we hadn't put our folks in assisted living Bayard Apr 2021 #19
I am 91 and I am not going anywhere. katmondoo Apr 2021 #20
Oh, you're doing pretty well if you can do that. I did Jazzercise three times a week for close to CTyankee Apr 2021 #32
My parents stayed in their home until they each passed csziggy Apr 2021 #22
Good for you!!! SheltieLover Apr 2021 #23
well, my genre may not be of interest to you (or to many)... CTyankee Apr 2021 #33
Have you seen this post about the Berklee course about music & well-being? SheltieLover Apr 2021 #44
Hang in there. NurseJackie Apr 2021 #24
Stay in your home for as long as you can malaise Apr 2021 #29
Stay in your home for as long as you can malaise Apr 2021 #30
I will do! We managed safely here during the pandemic. We are both vaccinated and have been CTyankee Apr 2021 #35
Thank you for raising this topic Generic Brad Apr 2021 #47
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