General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: OK retired DUers - how did you handle sexual harassment back in the day [View all]luvs2sing
(2,220 posts)from my close relationships with my father and grandfather who taught me to be fair, honest, and kind..but to take no shit from anyone. Most of my friends growing up were male. I was and am supremely comfortable around men. Most men I have known in my life have trusted and respected me, though I have scared a few to death.
I moved to the city in 1977, when I was 19, and got an office job. After being the bullied nerd in high school, I was suddenly the hot young chick in the office, and I played it for all it was worth, but I didnt take any crap. I gave as good as I got. I was good with the banter, but I had no problem with drawing the line. What is surprising is how seldom I had to do so.
I left that job when I was 23. I was sick of being the hot young chick. I was growing up. I went to work at a psychiatric hospital. I worked with a great group of people, both male and female, for ten years. I was no longer the hot young chick. I was the cool big sister to a group of adolescents who were in treatment. During my last year there, a new psychiatrist came on board, and I was immediately uncomfortable with him. He stared at me constantly. By then I had been married and divorced and seriously took no shit. But everyone loved this guy and raved about him, and I felt creepier and creepier around him. My office was in kind of an isolated spot in the back of the building. You had to go through two other offices to get to it. One day this guy came in and started rubbing my shoulders. I shrugged him off pretty violently, and he left. As he was leaving, the two guys who worked on my unit came in and immediately knew something was wrong. I was very close to one of the guys and his wife, so I felt comfortable telling them what was going on. They said they had noticed him staring at me in team meetings and said they would make sure it stopped. From then on, they sat on either side of me in team meetings and would make sure he couldnt stare at me. If he was in the building, one or both of them would be in my office with me. They gave me security during those last few months I was there, and Im forever grateful.
The last situation was in the early 90s. I worked for a small company where the CEO gave promotions and raises to women who wore short skirts and very high heels and danced with him at social events. I was grossed out and pissed. For the four years I worked there, I wore either long skirts or slacks and flat heeled shoes. He hated me, but he couldnt fire me because I had revolutionized record keeping in the office and no one knew how I did it until I left.
Oh yeah..I met Hubster at that job, too. And his supervisor said something very inappropriate to me before a meeting one day. Hubster and our boss had not arrived yet, but the other three guys in the department were there. I made it through the meeting, but went straight to our boss after the meeting and told him what happened. While we were talking, the other three guys who had been in the room came in to back me up. Jerk guy had to apologize, though I know he didnt mean it. I didnt care. He never messed with me again, and I was professional with him and continued doing excellent work on his projects. Within six months, he came to me and genuinely apologized, and we worked well together after that.