General Discussion

Treefrog

(4,170 posts)

52. He may not have been gay, who knows?

Sat Aug 28, 2021, 04:21 PM

Aug 2021

I’m a gay woman and I’ve known quite a few men and women who contracted that horrid virus who were not. I worked with an AIDS organization back in the late 80s, early 90s. It broke my heart that they felt it was some sort of gay “plague.”

The stigma of being thought gay kept many from talking to their closest friends and family about their diagnosis. They turned to us, the gay community, for care and understanding. So ironic and so sad.

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I'm heartbroken. How can people be so cruel? [View all] NurseJackie Aug 2021 OP

Nice memorial for your friend. N/t FSogol Aug 2021 #1

Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #22

Thank you. Solly Mack Aug 2021 #2

Thanks! NurseJackie Aug 2021 #24

My condolences on the loss of your friend MustLoveBeagles Aug 2021 #3

I appreciate that. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #25

That you took the time to post that touching remembrance of your friend speaks volumes about Atticus Aug 2021 #4

Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #26

I'm sorry. TomSlick Aug 2021 #5

Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #27

My high school sweetheart lost her brother in a housefire recently Ms. Toad Aug 2021 #6

I'm sure they loved their son (or they believed they did)... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #29

What a beautiful and touching eulogy you've written, my dear NurseJackie... CaliforniaPeggy Aug 2021 #7

Parents obviously loved him. LisaL Aug 2021 #10

You're correct, and this was in Georgia. CaliforniaPeggy Aug 2021 #12

After Rock Hudson and Liberace... but before Freddy Mercury. Yes people were ignorant and afraid. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #16

.... CaliforniaPeggy Aug 2021 #18

During the time that this picture was taken, I was on a flight BobsYourUncle Aug 2021 #154

It's maddening and heartbreaking. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #155

Wow, that is fucked up! Initech Aug 2021 #8

That's my reaction too. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #30

Rest well, David UpInArms Aug 2021 #9

Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #31

The capacity for human cruelty is boundless, apparently EYESORE 9001 Aug 2021 #11

That's a good way to describe it. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #33

Hold the thought that when he came home to die, they took him in... Hekate Aug 2021 #13

Yes. And times were different. I know I'm looking 1991 with my 2021 eyes. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #20

When I was in high school, pregnant girls were sent away to have their babies... Hekate Aug 2021 #62

Wow... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #72

I've never understood raising2moredems Aug 2021 #139

I know. I cannot comprehend it either. I imagine... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #153

Who does that to their own child malaise Aug 2021 #14

And I remember his parents. I thought they were kind... just "normal" parents. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #35

They Were "Normal" For The Time And Place COL Mustard Aug 2021 #59

You're right... they didn't know. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #74

I'm Not Gay, But COL Mustard Aug 2021 #78

At least they took him in when he was sick leftieNanner Aug 2021 #66

That's true. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #76

k&R spanone Aug 2021 #15

Thanks. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #36

'Home' must have been torturous for him. spanone Aug 2021 #111

That is so sad mcar Aug 2021 #17

I know. Thanks for reading... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #37

Religion. That's how. FoxNewsSucks Aug 2021 #19

I used to be a believer... and you're right. It's something that... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #38

Really sad, but your nice rememberance does a little to make it better. Nicely done. EarnestPutz Aug 2021 #21

Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #39

This might not be what you want to hear, but... localroger Aug 2021 #23

That's something to think about. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #40

I think you missed a key part of this. His parents prevented him pnwmom Aug 2021 #48

I understand their motivation and their fear. But it was still cruel. I agree. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #51

The parents ignorant actions were tragic but David's story left me feeling empty RVN VET71 Aug 2021 #143

Thanks for your kind words. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #156

Perhaps he didn't want anybody to know. OnlinePoker Aug 2021 #54

He was a gay man who had AIDS. His friends must have known. pnwmom Aug 2021 #56

He'd moved from the "big city" of Atlanta back to our little central Georgia... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #64

It was so common then -- but even now, small towns are places where homogeneity rules... Hekate Aug 2021 #75

Maybe a different train of thought. SergeStorms Aug 2021 #86

He may have been worried about the reaction of the people he'd grown up with csziggy Aug 2021 #89

That's possible. The thing that makes me most sad... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #102

Yes, that is telling csziggy Aug 2021 #104

It's so sad that on top of everything else, he had to live with parents pnwmom Aug 2021 #90

but you don't know and it might have been for the best janterry Aug 2021 #106

RIP, David. sheshe2 Aug 2021 #28

Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #41

A very justified rant! That someone you remembered fondly and tried to find again, Tadpole Raisin Aug 2021 #32

Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #43

I'm sorry, Jackie. brer cat Aug 2021 #34

I appreciate that. Thanks. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #45

I'm so sorry, Nurse Jackie. My cousin died the same way, in secret at his parents' home. femmedem Aug 2021 #42

Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #47

How truly sad PatSeg Aug 2021 #44

Thank you, PatSeg. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #49

So sorry....n/t bluecollar2 Aug 2021 #46

Many thanks. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #50

He may not have been gay, who knows? Treefrog Aug 2021 #52

I take your point... but he was gay. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #57

Very sad. Treefrog Aug 2021 #61

You remembered him, cared enough to find out, TNNurse Aug 2021 #53

Looking back at 1991 with the knowledge of 2021... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #58

I'm so sorry you found out this way. cayugafalls Aug 2021 #55

That's very sweet. Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #60

Thank you for remembering David MontanaMama Aug 2021 #63

I hope so. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #65

I'm sorry about your friend.. gerryatwork Aug 2021 #67

That's a lovely idea. I'll bring it up with other friends... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #77

I could have written this post. Pacifist Patriot Aug 2021 #68

Yes... erased. But our love and memories are stronger. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #79

Absolutely Pacifist Patriot Aug 2021 #140

a number of years ago someone told me an old friend of mine orleans Aug 2021 #135

I'm glad you posted that. Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #152

Thanks for remembering him LymphocyteLover Aug 2021 #69

It took my breath away. I read and chatted in disbelief... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #80

Thank you, Nurse Jackie, for your loving story about a treasured friend... bluboid Aug 2021 #70

Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #82

You remember SkylineChili Aug 2021 #71

That's very kind of you. Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #83

Nice that you were able to track him down and find out about his life. Although they appeared.... George II Aug 2021 #73

Thank you my friend. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #84

I had similar thoughts ... soldierant Aug 2021 #107

You make some valid observations. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #113

A truly righteous rant, and a beautiful tribute to your friend. niyad Aug 2021 #81

That's much appreciated. Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #85

I wish I could say I've never heard of such behavior Maeve Aug 2021 #87

That means a lot to me. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #92

Hold onto the thought that they took him home Joinfortmill Aug 2021 #88

Small comforts. Yes. I know... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #93

That's a beautiful tribute. llmart Aug 2021 #91

Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #94

That is indeed a sad story. Grumpy Old Guy Aug 2021 #95

Thank you! NurseJackie Aug 2021 #98

Conservatives can definitely be heartless and cruel IronLionZion Aug 2021 #96

Heartbreaking. I'm sorry to hear it. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #99

In my world, the "afterlife" is what you leave in others' hearts Harker Aug 2021 #97

That's a lovely thought. Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #100

... Harker Aug 2021 #101

YOU are part of "It Takes a Village" - this is YOUR moment........ MyOwnPeace Aug 2021 #103

Thank you for your thoughts and kind words. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #132

Was he from western Pennsylvania? left-of-center2012 Aug 2021 #105

No, but my husband's family is from there ... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #116

The store chain was called White Cross. n/t left-of-center2012 Aug 2021 #120

WOW! THAT brings back memories..... MyOwnPeace Aug 2021 #134

I also worked at Kaufmann's downtown Pittsburgh left-of-center2012 Aug 2021 #137

+ 1000000 Laura PourMeADrink Aug 2021 #108

That's a lot... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #126

Sorry didn't put commas in:) Your story is an incredible Laura PourMeADrink Aug 2021 #144

The 80s and early 90s were terrible for being gay. It was sheer misery. keopeli Aug 2021 #109

Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #125

WAS he gay? Phil the Kilibuster Aug 2021 #110

Yes. His significant other, lover, had also died before him. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #112

Okay Phil the Kilibuster Aug 2021 #114

I read this earlier and I could not comment mgardener Aug 2021 #115

Thank you... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #117

He suffered two deaths. Moebym Aug 2021 #118

Yes Too many. Too soon. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #119

What a sad story. nt LAS14 Aug 2021 #121

I've been sitting on this for a few days... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #123

If you can find where he was buried, and can afford a small marker GeoWilliam750 Aug 2021 #122

That's a lovely idea. I will... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #124

I'm so sorry cate94 Aug 2021 #127

Thanks for sharing that cate94... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #128

Your take is probably right but it is possible that there is another perspective PurgedVoter Aug 2021 #129

Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #130

It was a huge fear of mine when I realized I was gay in that era dsc Aug 2021 #131

I'm sorry you had to even consider that as a possibility... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #133

thanks dsc Aug 2021 #142

A beautiful tribute. Thank you. Ilsa Aug 2021 #136

Thank you. David would have been in his 70s... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #138

He sounds like he was a nice guy -- what a sad story. yonder Aug 2021 #141

Thank you so much. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #148

I'm sure that David deserved better and notinkansas Aug 2021 #145

Thank you. They were ignorant... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #149

So sorry, much love station agent Aug 2021 #146

Many thanks. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #150

I've heard this story before TexasBushwhacker Aug 2021 #147

Heartbreaking... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #151

Dear NJ.. my heart breaks for you and I remember the fear of those days Peacetrain Aug 2021 #157

Thank you. That's very sweet. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #159

This thread is at long last giving David the funeral he deserved. Irish_Dem Aug 2021 #158

I had not thought of it that way... that's lovely. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #160

It is a lovely funeral service. Irish_Dem Aug 2021 #161

I am so sorry Lulu KC Aug 2021 #162

Thank you. I know that I'm looking at this... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #163

Thank you for sharing that budkin Aug 2021 #164

Thank you. That means a lot to me. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #165