All Bibles are being recalled and reissued after an inventory.
This includes: heirlooms, antiques, collections, personal…every shape, size
and versión.
Bibles should be brought in person to your voting precinct to make things easier. Voting precincts that have been closed must be re-opened and remain that way. There shall be one voting precinct for every group of 200 persons. Many will new sites will be located, and again, are to remain open.
Complete versions of the Orthodox Bible, including the Old Testament, Psalms and New Testament only.
Personal Bibles will be re-issued to owners based on the following:
1. Ability to understand mature content.
2. Ability to apply content to yourself before applying it to anyone else.
3. Ability to think pluralistically
4. Evidence of having integrated the heart of the Gospel so it is reflected in everything you do.
5. An answer from your own experience to Jesus’ question , “who do you say that I am?” that matches his life and ministry
6. For Bible teachers, a record of the number of times you responded, “I don’t know.”
7. Your understanding of basic tenants: “all people”, “the Greatest Commandment,” “neighbor,” the Ten Commandments”, “The Beatitudes”, Jesus Death and Resurrection.
If unable to respond compassionately to those questions your Bible will be reissued to someone else.
The categories for issuance of Bibles will be as follows:
Groups:
Evangelicals and other Biblical literalists:
Short Version: 20O pages of the
Greatest Commandment
Those who have been abused by wicked persons posing as followers: The Psalms and New Testament
Change Resisters: The New Testament. Gospels only with Jesus’ words in Red.
Collectors: Shiny Bible Cover with blank pages. Cover is designed to attract dust to aid in ritual polishing.
“Literally Bound to Impress”
Exclusive Dogmatic Groups and clubs: New and improved Version with all of the difficult concepts removed.
Those who let others think for them:
no Bible. Apparently you don’t read it.
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