Putin's minions collect his poo when he's out of the country, and ship it back to Russia [View all]

[Ocelot II]

in a special suitcase. He also has his own private portable toilet. "If Putin drinks from a glass, the guards will make sure that the glass does not disappear. It is carefully washed and all traces are removed or the glass is removed. The same goes for fingerprints. Everything Putin takes on is monitored and handled. The president's biological traces are to be regarded as state secrets." They want to be sure nobody can analyze his DNA.

https://www.aftenposten.no/verden/i/7d83po/eget-baerbart-toalett-og-alt-han-tar-i-blir-oedelagt-slik-passer-russerne-paa-putins-dna Chrome's auto-translation of the article is a little wonky but the weirdness shines through.