what would you do-how would you feel if you donated money to someone believing they were in need

[ARPad95]

54. I donated to the individual in a previous GFM, but haven't since.

I think both he and his mother were entirely dependent on the father/husband to the point of ending up in this very difficult to reverse state of learned-helplessness after his death. Why learn to do for yourself when somebody else is willingly and even lovingly doing it for you? I saw it happen with my dh's family. The two siblings (oldest daughter and youngest son) who went to my in-laws the most for every little or big financial disruption in their lives are also the most messed up adults in terms of managing their finances now that the gravy train, err, parents are deceased.

IMO, nothing is going to get better in the long run for this DUer until he breaks away/cuts-the-cord from his mother and vice versa. The state of learned-helplessness is just being prolonged by him using her to plead for GFM donations and she using him to keep from having to deal with her depression and anxiety on her own.