I wake up every morning and one of the first things I do is

[Hekate]

13. There was a gentleman who bought a newspaper from the same news stand every day...

It was always the same: he’d walk up, hand over the money, snap open the paper to the front page, and toss it.

This goes on for awhile, until finally the vendor says, “Why?”

The gent answers, “I’m looking for the obituary of a certain person.”

Of course the vendor says, “You’re not gonna find it on the front page. That’s not where the obituary section is.”

Our gentleman says, “His will be.”