Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) Finds A Tunnel From Mar-A-Lago to Palm Beach Airport [View all]

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Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) Finds A Tunnel From Mar-A-Lago to Palm Beach Airport

Indictment Watch the 20, 2023
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Florida (BNN) Federal drug enforcement agents, tipped off from a source identified as simply “The Family,” have discovered a fully functional tunnel system connecting former President Trump’s southern office and classified document clearinghouse in Florida to a nearby airport.

Described by DEA spokesperson Rollie Wokenshire as “… a rather robust tunnel system, comprising a light railroad, incandescent lighting, great air conditioning, and cutouts with a latrine and multiple dining areas… this tunnel had it all, including a decadent gold-tone livery on the main engine, enclosed in wreaths, marked ‘John Baron Express’.”

“The passageway, which ultimately terminated in a stall at the airport VIP lobby female bathroom had all the hallmarks of a rather sophisticated human smuggling operation, or a getaway avenue for camera shy vacationers,” said Agent Wokenshire, adding, “At this point, it could just be a heretofore undisclosed hobby of the former President, playing with trains or something.”

Trump’s current TV lawyer, Jim Quessadilla, recently bloviating on MSNBC stated, “President Trump would never travel by rail, end of @#&% story.”