General Discussion

Maraya1969

(23,510 posts)

70. An explanation of what it means.

Sun Apr 16, 2023, 07:06 AM

Apr 2023

"In a Youtube video, Jigme Ugen, a second-generation Tibetan refugee living in the U.S., explains how this display of affection was born out of a game played between the Tibetan elderly and children. Kids who go up to their grandfather, for instance, are asked to kiss their grandfather’s forehead, touch their noses and kiss them.

“Then [the grandfather] says that I’ve given you everything so the only thing left is for you to eat my tongue,” Ugen said. “The child probably never gets the candy or money but gets a beautiful lesson about life, love and family."”

I remember the Dalai Lama making jokes about farting on airplanes and also telling one host how he had a "Full evacuation" after a night's sleep there. Different cultures are different!

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

123 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Tibetans Explain What 'Suck My Tongue' Means. It's Not What You Think. [View all] icymist Apr 2023 OP

I knew I was right to defend him ... I'll leave it at that (nt) Hugh_Lebowski Apr 2023 #1

Did you see how close their faces came? Their tongues could have touched at that distance pnwmom Apr 2023 #8

BFD n/t Disaffected Apr 2023 #20

Adults shouldn't be forcing kisses on children, period. And especially kids not in their family pnwmom Apr 2023 #23

Chinese propaganda? Roy Rolling Apr 2023 #29

What? My grandma kissed me like that my whole life FreeState Apr 2023 #55

He wasn't her grandmother. And if you willingly kissed your grandmother, pnwmom Apr 2023 #61

Different cultures do things differently. live love laugh Apr 2023 #82

Every cultural practice isn't equally valid. Our own cultural practices aren't equally valid. pnwmom Apr 2023 #85

That was nothing! Some people have to look for problems. Maraya1969 Apr 2023 #68

If Pope Francis was demanding kids kiss him on the lips, while grasping their hand, pnwmom Apr 2023 #101

I agree. nt BlackSkimmer Apr 2023 #56

An explanation of what it means. Maraya1969 Apr 2023 #70

I feel the same. Just A Box Of Rain Apr 2023 #52

It's a cultural misinterpretation FakeNoose Apr 2023 #53

Then why did the boy try to shrug off the man's hand in one of the clips? nt pnwmom Apr 2023 #62

Becsuse he tickled him. The entire thing is misleading JI7 Apr 2023 #94

He wasn't tickling him in the clip I saw -- not that that would be okay, either. pnwmom Apr 2023 #97

The boy asked to hug him JI7 Apr 2023 #98

Yes, and that was fine. Then the boy pulled back, pnwmom Apr 2023 #100

I'm putting this here because it looks like it was left out. Maraya1969 Apr 2023 #69

media sure as hell fell for that one dembotoz Apr 2023 #2

A shame, anyone that has any inkling of the Tibetan culture would have already known this. SWBTATTReg Apr 2023 #3

Why did he apologize then? Why didn't he explain the "custom"? pnwmom Apr 2023 #9

I don't know, why don't you ask him? SWBTATTReg Apr 2023 #10

Because they knew his behavior was inappropriate. pnwmom Apr 2023 #12

Ah, you're an expert on Tibetan culture. Who would of thought such a thing? SWBTATTReg Apr 2023 #91

Human beings are human beings. Adults in our own culture make the same mistake pnwmom Apr 2023 #99

"I am sorry you misunderstood my fractured English. Pardon while my translator shows up so you Hekate Apr 2023 #48

but this was in India, not Tibet LymphocyteLover Apr 2023 #79

So? SWBTATTReg Apr 2023 #90

Do Indian kids understand Tibetan customs? LymphocyteLover Apr 2023 #92

The reason it is India and not Tibet is the Chinese ran all the Tibetans out of Tibet during the Maraya1969 Apr 2023 #102

I know the history and what the Chinese did to Tibet is indeed terrible LymphocyteLover Apr 2023 #119

I take offense at the words, "Did this to" As has been discussed through this thread what happened Maraya1969 Apr 2023 #120

Here's another one. The stabbing of Bob Lee underpants Apr 2023 #4

More along the lines of "got your nose" or pull my finger Maeve Apr 2023 #5

And demanding a kiss on the lips after getting one on the cheek? pnwmom Apr 2023 #13

Yeah, it can be...depends on the culture Maeve Apr 2023 #16

Lots of cultures have practices that are harmful to children. pnwmom Apr 2023 #17

Yeah ... and I think 'children' are overrated as a general rule Hugh_Lebowski Apr 2023 #19

I saw the kissing that preceded it. The boy was being pushed by adults to do things pnwmom Apr 2023 #21

Well I admit I've not seen the video ... and that does sound a bit untoward Hugh_Lebowski Apr 2023 #32

I'm with you, Hugh! ShazzieB Apr 2023 #49

You should watch the whole thing from the source where a cultural defense was mounted Just A Box Of Rain Apr 2023 #65

This is the entire video of the incident unedited, that I mentioned above. Just A Box Of Rain Apr 2023 #67

The Tibetan government and their supporters have a very obvious motive Goodheart Apr 2023 #86

Right? intheflow Apr 2023 #28

when Grandpa played that game, he didn't kiss me on the lips first reqd Apr 2023 #76

Media in this country is so triggered by the rightwing nuts that they couldn't stop for a moment... Hekate Apr 2023 #6

There were a LOT of DUers jumping on that bandwagon MagickMuffin Apr 2023 #7

I'm one of them. If he had been a Catholic priest, first asking for a kiss on the cheek, pnwmom Apr 2023 #14

Please! cilla4progress Apr 2023 #24

Adult relationships are a completely separate issue. Children shouldn't be forced pnwmom Apr 2023 #26

This message was self-deleted by its author cilla4progress Apr 2023 #27

Maybe more research cilla4progress Apr 2023 #31

I like Pope Francis as well, but I wouldn't be defending him if a child came to him pnwmom Apr 2023 #34

I cilla4progress Apr 2023 #40

This article is about hugging, not kissing, but I think the ideas are sound. pnwmom Apr 2023 #44

I completely agree with you.... Sogo Apr 2023 #41

First & foremost, Roman Catholic priests come from our own culture, so we'd look askance with good Hekate Apr 2023 #36

Here's a perspective from another culture that's not our own, and I found it compelling. pnwmom Apr 2023 #39

The Pope is part of western culture, not treestar Apr 2023 #103

Human beings are human beings. Many in our own western culture think it's perfectly fine pnwmom Apr 2023 #107

you can attack that culture for it as well as this treestar Apr 2023 #114

I'm not attacking that culture or our culture, which also encourages this. pnwmom Apr 2023 #116

Yeah, that gets me sick RocRizzo55 Apr 2023 #15

Children shouldn't be made to kiss strange adults on the lips -- and even with a family member pnwmom Apr 2023 #22

Who hurt you? intheflow Apr 2023 #33

You're misinformed if you don't think child abuse can happen in all cultures. pnwmom Apr 2023 #35

I never said child abuse doesn't happen in all cultures. intheflow Apr 2023 #43

I'm NOT saying the Dali Lama is an abuser. But I am saying that parents pnwmom Apr 2023 #45

I withheld juudgment on this one Warpy Apr 2023 #11

Exactly. No candy but you can eat my tongue grandson. grantcart Apr 2023 #18

I don't recall that the young lad asked the Dalai Lama for candy. Goodheart Apr 2023 #60

Speaking of translations, I watched the movie Woodstock when I was in Japan. AnotherDreamWeaver Apr 2023 #38

HAHAHAHAHA!! Warpy Apr 2023 #51

I don't use Coke idioms right after kissing a boy in the lips reqd Apr 2023 #78

Well, using coke is likely better before instead of after Warpy Apr 2023 #88

Yeah, I saw a Twitter reply that basically explained the misinterpretation soon after it happened... demmiblue Apr 2023 #25

It is sometimes wise to wait till more info comes out Kaleva Apr 2023 #30

it's also wise not to blindly believe the extra info reqd Apr 2023 #81

Who said anything about blindly believing extra info Kaleva Apr 2023 #87

Good to hear & not surprised. Joinfortmill Apr 2023 #37

China and Russia are pretty much the embodiment of evil empires which is why yaesu Apr 2023 #42

A more complete explanation of the cultural meaning of the saying: NullTuples Apr 2023 #46

You know, we have a saying here in the USA: "kiss my ass" Goodheart Apr 2023 #59

Well, I'm sure that his culture would be equally understanding of a similar faux pas Orrex Apr 2023 #47

My father and I kissed on the lips until the day he died, I was 32. friend of a friend Apr 2023 #50

The Dalai lama is not his father or his grandfather. He's a famous stranger. nt pnwmom Apr 2023 #63

my father never once kissed me in the lips reqd Apr 2023 #73

The Dalai Lama is NOT a pedophile! superpatriotman Apr 2023 #54

Nobody is "wholly pure" Goodheart Apr 2023 #58

No one is saying he's a pedophile. My concern was that the boy was pushed into the interaction. pnwmom Apr 2023 #64

I'm not convinced he's not a pedophile reqd Apr 2023 #75

Lolz obamanut2012 Apr 2023 #108

I'm not buying this "explanation". Goodheart Apr 2023 #57

yes, and also this was in India. Not clear how many Indians know this expression. LymphocyteLover Apr 2023 #77

India has a large Tibetan community JI7 Apr 2023 #95

Indian culture is far worse when it comes to males harassing females JI7 Apr 2023 #123

This is a disappointing thread where half of the DUers elocs Apr 2023 #66

For those of us concerned, it has nothing to do with the bizarre aspect. pnwmom Apr 2023 #71

I wouldn't like to swing the pendulum too far the other way and pretend that hugs are sexual reqd Apr 2023 #74

Hugging someone who doesn't want to be hugged is wrong. WhiskeyGrinder Apr 2023 #83

The hug looked voluntary to me, so it was fine. But after that the man kept gripping the boy's pnwmom Apr 2023 #109

does the saying require stickin the tongue out 1 inch away from the kid after kissing him on the lip reqd Apr 2023 #72

Glad to see you back on DU. redgreenandblue Apr 2023 #96

It may well be a Tibetan thing, but should the Dalai Lama expected that everyone knows this? LymphocyteLover Apr 2023 #80

I doubt that it's even a Tibetan custom. Goodheart Apr 2023 #84

"expecting?" treestar Apr 2023 #106

It literally is not a Tibetan thing obamanut2012 Apr 2023 #111

It literalky is not a Tobetan thing obamanut2012 Apr 2023 #112

It isn't a Tibetan thing obamanut2012 Apr 2023 #110

good old DU Kali Apr 2023 #89

Message auto-removed Name removed Apr 2023 #93

I guess eating someone's tongue is OK? Especially a kid? Sure. I buy that. JanMichael Apr 2023 #104

It is garbage obamanut2012 Apr 2023 #113

How do we confirm it is not a Tibetan thing? treestar Apr 2023 #115

Sticking out the tongue IS a Tibetan thing. pnwmom Apr 2023 #117

might have taken the Dalai Lama treestar Apr 2023 #118

This must be some thread... I can only see less than half of the responses. demmiblue Apr 2023 #105

I can't believe people excusing this behavior.. Oregon1947 Apr 2023 #121

U.S. arrests 2 for allegedly operating secret Chinese police outpost in New York icymist Apr 2023 #122