General Discussion

jmowreader

(52,858 posts)

22. This could backfire quickly

Tue Jul 11, 2023, 01:23 PM

Jul 2023

"Children, we have a special guest with us today, Superintendent of Public Education Ryan Walters. He wants to sit in on our Bible study. Please turn to 1 Samuel 18. Now why do you think King Saul made David kill 100 Philistines and cut their dicks off?"

"Ms. Jones, it was so David could marry Michal."

"Do you think there was another reason?"

"Yes, ma'am. King Saul didn't like David very much and wanted him to get killed."

"And why would he have been killed?"

"Because no one wants his dick cut off for no reason."

"Exactly right. He thought someone would kill David before David could cut his dick off."

"Dammit, quit teaching such filth!"

"Superintendent Walters, I'm just teaching what's in the Bible. Read it yourself!"

(Walters reads the Scripture.)

"Damn...it does say that, doesn't it? No no, teach a nice part of the Bible."

"Okay, fine. Turn to Judges 15.16. In this passage Samson bragged about killing a thousand men with the jawbone of an ass. Where would he get the jawbone of an ass?"

"From a Republican superintendent of public instruction?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

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Highlight:

"We want the Bible in our schools" -- Ryan Walters, Oklahoma superintendent of public instruction [View all] Swede Jul 2023 OP

Which bible would that be? and what would the SC do if that case came before them JohnSJ Jul 2023 #1

The current Supreme Court Mr.Bill Jul 2023 #13

This genocidal wanker needs to be careful what he wishes for ExWhoDoesntCare Jul 2023 #28

Only if all religious beliefs are equally distributed, otherwise NO WAY MagickMuffin Jul 2023 #2

No religion in school, period. we can do it Jul 2023 #33

As long as it is for a "Western Religions" class... pandr32 Jul 2023 #3

And I want science textbooks in the church pews. Torchlight Jul 2023 #4

This!!! Hugh_Lebowski Jul 2023 #6

Who is the "us" in "our schools," Ryan? gratuitous Jul 2023 #5

White people. Act_of_Reparation Jul 2023 #29

He wants to go back to the dark ages? Johonny Jul 2023 #7

Or modern day Afghanistan, Iran, KSA, etc (nt) Hugh_Lebowski Jul 2023 #9

Who the eff is "we"? lpbk2713 Jul 2023 #8

I want the State of Sequoyah. roamer65 Jul 2023 #10

He is plcdude Jul 2023 #11

Teach it in high school as a compilation of ancient middle-eastern folklore. Ocelot II Jul 2023 #12

Our schools SCantiGOP Jul 2023 #14

Huh, they want pron in their schools as defined by the state of Utah. republianmushroom Jul 2023 #15

Fine. Comparative Religions class is the appropriate venue. maxsolomon Jul 2023 #16

This Fella Only Thinks He Wants Kids Reading The Bible, Sir The Magistrate Jul 2023 #17

The Book of Mormon is subtitled "Another Testament of Jesus Christ" for a reason. Ask Mitt. czarjak Jul 2023 #18

No we don't! Get your fucking church out of our schools NOW, fuckheads! Initech Jul 2023 #19

Okay but no King James Bible Norbert Jul 2023 #20

I Hate These Guys NowISeetheLight Jul 2023 #21

This could backfire quickly jmowreader Jul 2023 #22

Have them read Genesis 19 ExWhoDoesntCare Jul 2023 #26

There are a BUNCH of questionable things in the Bible jmowreader Jul 2023 #32

Nah. Make your kids put down their phones, and no_hypocrisy Jul 2023 #23

It doesn't bring families closer togeether ExWhoDoesntCare Jul 2023 #27

I won't think in your church Flatrat Jul 2023 #24

Perfect quote! Duppers Jul 2023 #30

Fuck you !!! SamKnause Jul 2023 #25

I firmly believe that Hogwarts Witchcraft and Wizardry should be taught in all OK Greybnk48 Jul 2023 #31

"We want?" Here's who didn't want: DFW Jul 2023 #34

Home school your little bastards. Hotler Jul 2023 #35

How else are they going to learn about dicks and boobs? dalton99a Jul 2023 #36