"We do it for George."

[Maru Kitteh]

39. Were you ever able to tell the watchman how you felt? (this is long too. :)

He clearly felt comfortable talking to you. I have a similar situation with a young(ish) manager who watches clearly watches FUX all day in his off hours and is obsessed with the idea that drag queens and gender fluidity is ruining the country. I've known him for years, and he never used to behave that way, leaving me wondering what had changed. I knew he had divorced about 3 years ago and picked himself up a new girlfriend about 6 months later. She works for us also but I didn't know her very well.

She's was an antivaxer when they started going out, so there's a good chance that where the FUX came into the picture. Now fast forward a couple years and she's shaved her head close, about 1/2 inch to 1 inch of green hair and she's started using (or having) a markedly lower voice. She let it be known that she did the hair on purpose. Nothing wrong with that at all, it's just that it was a pretty abrupt and major change from the long wavy light brown hair she'd had for years previous. She's not taking any sick time from work and hasn't spoken to anyone she works with about health battles so it's highly unlikely this change is due to any illness.

The first time he came into my office and started unloading about men dressing like women and being "forced" to call them by "their pronouns" I found it very bizarre, and I noted he only complained about genetic males. I was thrown off guard and that time I just tried repeatedly to change the topic but he kept finding a way to circle back, never took the hint. I was hoping it was a temporary thing and wondered if it was triggered by his girlfriend's recent metamorphosis.

Subsequent to that, I started challenging him. What about nicknames? My husband goes by his first name in full. We'll just call him Fredrick here (not his name) but men in particular have the habit of not even asking him what he goes by and just automatically address him as Fred, and he has to correct them. Usually he has to correct them multiple times. Doesn't he have a right to be addressed by his name? Many Johnathans go by the name of Jack. Don't people have a right to be addressed as they wish? Isn't it up to them?

He countered with what if all the CNA's decide they want to be addressed as Dr.? I pointed out that that's an honorific that has to be earned and granted. Dr.s go through a great deal of pain and the degree requires a taxing level of determination to achieve, much like the effort, courage and pain that goes into changing one's outward identity to the world. Dr's are also changed inwardly and outwardly in their identity by the the effort required to achieve becoming who they are.

In summary, I've challenged him on the idea that society should be the unquestioned arbiters of who we are, and how that directly contradicts the very notion of what freedom really is - the right to self-determination.

But back to the original question: Were you ever able to tell the Klansman how you felt? How did he react?