General Discussion

treestar

(82,383 posts)

55. This is cultural and nation wide

Mon Sep 18, 2023, 12:45 PM

Sep 2023

"A Nation of Strangers" is a book I read in the 80s.

It was very lonely for a single woman in a big city. I moved back to where family was. They will always hang out with you!

It's the way this culture just is. Not sure how to fix it. It is due to automobile culture, suburban culture - everyone wants to be free of everyone else. But this is the price of it.

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The male loneliness epidemic and how it affects fathers [View all] OnlinePoker Sep 2023 OP

Started talking with my mom twice a week back in 2019. Dad said, sarcasmo Sep 2023 #1

I hear this often and have one simple piece of advice. FalloutShelter Sep 2023 #2

Excellent advice. Look at driving for Meals On Wheels - get to meet lots of folks! erronis Sep 2023 #42

I think that's the secret. But I think of it slightly differently: help. If you are helping Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #74

Absolutely. FalloutShelter Sep 2023 #77

Our town, Maplewood, N.J., has a contingent of working moms and Stay-at-home dads. 3Hotdogs Sep 2023 #3

Ouch. That sounds like a tough nut to crack. DFW Sep 2023 #4

Being an at-home parent can be very isolating Bettie Sep 2023 #5

But when women were for decades doing this no one seemed to believe it was equally troubling fredamoss3 Sep 2023 #82

People don't go to church where you live? Mariana Sep 2023 #136

We don't go to church Bettie Sep 2023 #137

I have experienced exactly what you have. phylny Sep 2023 #144

Many women feel isolated and all alone when home with kids all day, too. Diamond_Dog Sep 2023 #6

My Germn husband just isn't interested in friends. LakeArenal Sep 2023 #9

TY! Diamond_Dog Sep 2023 #11

Sisters separated at birth! LakeArenal Sep 2023 #70

We moved when my first was just about a year old Bettie Sep 2023 #133

Post removed Post removed Sep 2023 #7

What a reasonable response to this issue. Sympthsical Sep 2023 #8

++++ wow, right on! Diamond_Dog Sep 2023 #10

What an incredibly stupid reply. edisdead Sep 2023 #13

Let me try to reword this into something more reasonable DBoon Sep 2023 #14

Thank you. You included one I forgot: Second place is the first loser. Aristus Sep 2023 #17

We use it on ourselves all the time. carpetbagger Sep 2023 #38

+1000 nt Brenda Sep 2023 #50

Unless, you realize that is all BS. You get educated and learn that emotions aren't bad. FSogol Sep 2023 #21

This it's right wing men. Most normal liberal guys are not like this JI7 Sep 2023 #46

This is the truth about how most men are raised in this country DBoon Sep 2023 #57

can I still use my smoker? Snooper9 Sep 2023 #15

total agreement, and totally unhelpful GenXer47 Sep 2023 #16

LOL, well said. Too many men are kidadults and then wonder why people don't take them seriously. FSogol Sep 2023 #22

SeriousLY Act_of_Reparation Sep 2023 #24

Reading glasses are my friend too. n/t FSogol Sep 2023 #25

You can't type with your eyes closed? Act_of_Reparation Sep 2023 #27

How to say "I didn't read the article"... Act_of_Reparation Sep 2023 #23

Exactly, their response was about the total newdayneeded Sep 2023 #51

I read the article and the premise is complete flaming bullshit. hunter Sep 2023 #61

Yeah, you definitely sound like you've worked it all out Orrex Sep 2023 #62

It's not "gatekeeping" (a term you will never see me use...) hunter Sep 2023 #69

Post removed Post removed Sep 2023 #72

Lol. No. The important takeaway is that the poster has found a way to deal with the issue we're Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #75

Yeah, you've worked it all out. Orrex Sep 2023 #76

Wow. The poster you're yelling at never said anything remotely resembling any of that. Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #80

See post 66 NickB79 Sep 2023 #93

Hmmm... So to you that's the same as "Straight white guys aren't allowed to struggle," Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #97

"Declaring by fiat" and "gatekeeping" are your terms for "disagreeing," then? Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #78

Well, no. But thanks for the bevy of stereotypes! Nt Gore1FL Sep 2023 #26

I for one, welcome the great undickoning... Hugin Sep 2023 #30

Also they should drop their homophobia. roamer65 Sep 2023 #33

I agree with that... Hugin Sep 2023 #40

Everyone knows loneliness at times. That's just being human. hunter Sep 2023 #90

Imagine if someone had posted an equivalent article about women's mental health Orrex Sep 2023 #34

It's usually pretty easy to spot the good people who are struggling. Aristus Sep 2023 #41

And he's a stay-at-home dad? Wednesdays Sep 2023 #45

Curious that the legitmacy of their struggle is determined by how much they inconvenience you Orrex Sep 2023 #60

+1 leftstreet Sep 2023 #79

100% right. Fix The Stupid Sep 2023 #63

I'm not Aristus, but imagine if someone comes to you, cigarette in hand... hunter Sep 2023 #85

Aristus posted a list of male stereotypes that seems to have resonated with some here Orrex Sep 2023 #87

It's Not Just Here RobinA Sep 2023 #107

I find this entire thread astonishing... hunter Sep 2023 #109

Here's a crazy idea... Fix The Stupid Sep 2023 #111

I was born an autistic spectrum freak of indeterminate sexuality. hunter Sep 2023 #115

So Your Argument RobinA Sep 2023 #113

You're belittling, putting down, and dismissing the mental health of others Sympthsical Sep 2023 #114

Nobody ever really gets their "life in order." hunter Sep 2023 #116

You're speaking for yourself Sympthsical Sep 2023 #117

Many "beliefs" are garbage. hunter Sep 2023 #118

Without fail Sympthsical Sep 2023 #119

Nope. Some "beliefs" are intolerable. hunter Sep 2023 #122

And some beliefs Sympthsical Sep 2023 #123

What behavior of mine do you find "problematic?" hunter Sep 2023 #125

The thread is sufficient enough argument Sympthsical Sep 2023 #127

You demand an emulation of straight white boy world? I can do that. hunter Sep 2023 #128

A gay man is demanding straight emulation? Sympthsical Sep 2023 #134

Um, okay. hunter Sep 2023 #138

The one thing that keeps coming to mind Sympthsical Sep 2023 #140

This gets better and better... hunter Sep 2023 #141

The only one of your sins I commit is about one drink a week. carpetbagger Sep 2023 #36

I confess to the baldness... Hugin Sep 2023 #43

It's kind of funny that you wrote this. SYFROYH Sep 2023 #47

I see this in my own family Beatlelvr Sep 2023 #12

Soon to be 65. I've separated from many friends and family. LuckyCharms Sep 2023 #18

Maybe they should start some online group where men in similar positions can connect JI7 Sep 2023 #19

It's hard to find such a group that doesn't skew hard-right Orrex Sep 2023 #39

Doesn't that lend credence to the posts about masculinity that so many in this thread are having Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #73

I feel like an exception EYESORE 9001 Sep 2023 #20

This message was self-deleted by its author elocs Sep 2023 #28

All of my close friends are now females multigraincracker Sep 2023 #29

Money peppertree Sep 2023 #31

yeah i just don't fit in. dembotoz Sep 2023 #32

I know how you feel. Xavier Breath Sep 2023 #53

My issue is my 27 year old son who lives alone, doesn't have a lot of friends or a significant other LymphocyteLover Sep 2023 #35

It really is hard for single men right now Johnny2X2X Sep 2023 #58

Yes, I hear you. Thanks. LymphocyteLover Sep 2023 #64

That math just doesn't make sense, as has been pointed out for years when incels make that claim. Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #65

Thank you for answering this post obamanut2012 Sep 2023 #86

"There's a dating website MorbidButterflyTat Sep 2023 #102

+1 betsuni Sep 2023 #131

As long as he's happy, is it really an issue? meadowlander Sep 2023 #81

That's true, although I don't think he is completely disinterested in those things LymphocyteLover Sep 2023 #83

I tried SpamWyzer Sep 2023 #37

Try being the SAH mom of a disabled child. Ilsa Sep 2023 #44

I can relate MorbidButterflyTat Sep 2023 #103

stay at home parents have a hard no matter the sex/gender SYFROYH Sep 2023 #48

Child rearing years are very unforgiving. It is very difficult to be the stray at home parent. 1WorldHope Sep 2023 #49

My mom turned to alcoholism. Greybnk48 Sep 2023 #52

agree, why single out men? treestar Sep 2023 #56

Because for the first time in history some of them are feeling it, so now it's important. Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #67

Exactly! Now help is on the way? FFS. n/t Greybnk48 Sep 2023 #68

In a search for common ground, I think we can all be thankful together and agree that it's good Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #71

Well that's one good thing. n/t Greybnk48 Sep 2023 #100

We've come a long way, baby. Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #101

LOL! n/t Greybnk48 Sep 2023 #105

Exactly obamanut2012 Sep 2023 #88

Yup. MorbidButterflyTat Sep 2023 #104

I am a woman, but was a stay at home for years with a disabled child. I was truly invisible. onecaliberal Sep 2023 #54

This is cultural and nation wide treestar Sep 2023 #55

Along with keeping social skills in use Marthe48 Sep 2023 #59

This article is a pantsload. hunter Sep 2023 #66

Thank you so much obamanut2012 Sep 2023 #89

So . . . Sympthsical Sep 2023 #84

"those who have gotten really used to centering themselves in everything" Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #91

I see what a person might think it is Sympthsical Sep 2023 #92

And where has anyone said, "stop talking about this"? Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #94

I'm not engaging in this Sympthsical Sep 2023 #95

Have a lovely evening. Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #96

I guess being on the receiving end of it means nothing boston bean Sep 2023 #135

I'm finding it interesting that the people who have joined the thread to say, "Here is how Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #139

Post 44 literally said "suck it up" NickB79 Sep 2023 #98

Again, your reading is a world away from mine. Ilsa shared the difficulties she has Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #99

You are grossly misreprsenting what Ilsa said obamanut2012 Sep 2023 #106

Well Stated RobinA Sep 2023 #108

+1 H2O Man Sep 2023 #110

OK, I shouldn't have, but your reponse prompted a giggle or two outta me Torchlight Sep 2023 #120

Gracious. H2O Man Sep 2023 #112

How is parenting in any context not a "Man's Work?" hunter Sep 2023 #121

Interesting question. H2O Man Sep 2023 #129

As a parent and a teacher you have got to be honest. hunter Sep 2023 #130

Right. H2O Man Sep 2023 #142

They need to do what women do ExWhoDoesntCare Sep 2023 #124

This thread was interesting before it dwelved into the dating crisis Jspur Sep 2023 #126

What "dating crisis?" hunter Sep 2023 #132

There is a dating crisis I think people in DU get sensistive about it espescially Jspur Sep 2023 #143

"I had my share of women throughout my youth." Oh, you "had" them. What does that mean? betsuni Sep 2023 #145

WTF? Brenda Sep 2023 #146

It's disgusting and still here. DU is fine with it. betsuni Sep 2023 #147

Oh good. The incel talking point again. Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #148