General Discussion

Marthe48

(23,175 posts)

59. Along with keeping social skills in use

Mon Sep 18, 2023, 12:54 PM

Sep 2023

We all need to find a way to be comfortable with ourselves. Maybe if we found a balance between being solitary and being social, we'd all do better in all sitautions.

It took me a long time to realize I was okay being alone, so I'm not trying to minimize loeliness. I tried to watch The Snow Goose in the 70s and cried all the way through it. Now, I can go for days without seeing or talking to anyone.

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The male loneliness epidemic and how it affects fathers [View all] OnlinePoker Sep 2023 OP

Started talking with my mom twice a week back in 2019. Dad said, sarcasmo Sep 2023 #1

I hear this often and have one simple piece of advice. FalloutShelter Sep 2023 #2

Excellent advice. Look at driving for Meals On Wheels - get to meet lots of folks! erronis Sep 2023 #42

I think that's the secret. But I think of it slightly differently: help. If you are helping Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #74

Absolutely. FalloutShelter Sep 2023 #77

Our town, Maplewood, N.J., has a contingent of working moms and Stay-at-home dads. 3Hotdogs Sep 2023 #3

Ouch. That sounds like a tough nut to crack. DFW Sep 2023 #4

Being an at-home parent can be very isolating Bettie Sep 2023 #5

But when women were for decades doing this no one seemed to believe it was equally troubling fredamoss3 Sep 2023 #82

People don't go to church where you live? Mariana Sep 2023 #136

We don't go to church Bettie Sep 2023 #137

I have experienced exactly what you have. phylny Sep 2023 #144

Many women feel isolated and all alone when home with kids all day, too. Diamond_Dog Sep 2023 #6

My Germn husband just isn't interested in friends. LakeArenal Sep 2023 #9

TY! Diamond_Dog Sep 2023 #11

Sisters separated at birth! LakeArenal Sep 2023 #70

We moved when my first was just about a year old Bettie Sep 2023 #133

Post removed Post removed Sep 2023 #7

What a reasonable response to this issue. Sympthsical Sep 2023 #8

++++ wow, right on! Diamond_Dog Sep 2023 #10

What an incredibly stupid reply. edisdead Sep 2023 #13

Let me try to reword this into something more reasonable DBoon Sep 2023 #14

Thank you. You included one I forgot: Second place is the first loser. Aristus Sep 2023 #17

We use it on ourselves all the time. carpetbagger Sep 2023 #38

+1000 nt Brenda Sep 2023 #50

Unless, you realize that is all BS. You get educated and learn that emotions aren't bad. FSogol Sep 2023 #21

This it's right wing men. Most normal liberal guys are not like this JI7 Sep 2023 #46

This is the truth about how most men are raised in this country DBoon Sep 2023 #57

can I still use my smoker? Snooper9 Sep 2023 #15

total agreement, and totally unhelpful GenXer47 Sep 2023 #16

LOL, well said. Too many men are kidadults and then wonder why people don't take them seriously. FSogol Sep 2023 #22

SeriousLY Act_of_Reparation Sep 2023 #24

Reading glasses are my friend too. n/t FSogol Sep 2023 #25

You can't type with your eyes closed? Act_of_Reparation Sep 2023 #27

How to say "I didn't read the article"... Act_of_Reparation Sep 2023 #23

Exactly, their response was about the total newdayneeded Sep 2023 #51

I read the article and the premise is complete flaming bullshit. hunter Sep 2023 #61

Yeah, you definitely sound like you've worked it all out Orrex Sep 2023 #62

It's not "gatekeeping" (a term you will never see me use...) hunter Sep 2023 #69

Post removed Post removed Sep 2023 #72

Lol. No. The important takeaway is that the poster has found a way to deal with the issue we're Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #75

Yeah, you've worked it all out. Orrex Sep 2023 #76

Wow. The poster you're yelling at never said anything remotely resembling any of that. Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #80

See post 66 NickB79 Sep 2023 #93

Hmmm... So to you that's the same as "Straight white guys aren't allowed to struggle," Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #97

"Declaring by fiat" and "gatekeeping" are your terms for "disagreeing," then? Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #78

Well, no. But thanks for the bevy of stereotypes! Nt Gore1FL Sep 2023 #26

I for one, welcome the great undickoning... Hugin Sep 2023 #30

Also they should drop their homophobia. roamer65 Sep 2023 #33

I agree with that... Hugin Sep 2023 #40

Everyone knows loneliness at times. That's just being human. hunter Sep 2023 #90

Imagine if someone had posted an equivalent article about women's mental health Orrex Sep 2023 #34

It's usually pretty easy to spot the good people who are struggling. Aristus Sep 2023 #41

And he's a stay-at-home dad? Wednesdays Sep 2023 #45

Curious that the legitmacy of their struggle is determined by how much they inconvenience you Orrex Sep 2023 #60

+1 leftstreet Sep 2023 #79

100% right. Fix The Stupid Sep 2023 #63

I'm not Aristus, but imagine if someone comes to you, cigarette in hand... hunter Sep 2023 #85

Aristus posted a list of male stereotypes that seems to have resonated with some here Orrex Sep 2023 #87

It's Not Just Here RobinA Sep 2023 #107

I find this entire thread astonishing... hunter Sep 2023 #109

Here's a crazy idea... Fix The Stupid Sep 2023 #111

I was born an autistic spectrum freak of indeterminate sexuality. hunter Sep 2023 #115

So Your Argument RobinA Sep 2023 #113

You're belittling, putting down, and dismissing the mental health of others Sympthsical Sep 2023 #114

Nobody ever really gets their "life in order." hunter Sep 2023 #116

You're speaking for yourself Sympthsical Sep 2023 #117

Many "beliefs" are garbage. hunter Sep 2023 #118

Without fail Sympthsical Sep 2023 #119

Nope. Some "beliefs" are intolerable. hunter Sep 2023 #122

And some beliefs Sympthsical Sep 2023 #123

What behavior of mine do you find "problematic?" hunter Sep 2023 #125

The thread is sufficient enough argument Sympthsical Sep 2023 #127

You demand an emulation of straight white boy world? I can do that. hunter Sep 2023 #128

A gay man is demanding straight emulation? Sympthsical Sep 2023 #134

Um, okay. hunter Sep 2023 #138

The one thing that keeps coming to mind Sympthsical Sep 2023 #140

This gets better and better... hunter Sep 2023 #141

The only one of your sins I commit is about one drink a week. carpetbagger Sep 2023 #36

I confess to the baldness... Hugin Sep 2023 #43

It's kind of funny that you wrote this. SYFROYH Sep 2023 #47

I see this in my own family Beatlelvr Sep 2023 #12

Soon to be 65. I've separated from many friends and family. LuckyCharms Sep 2023 #18

Maybe they should start some online group where men in similar positions can connect JI7 Sep 2023 #19

It's hard to find such a group that doesn't skew hard-right Orrex Sep 2023 #39

Doesn't that lend credence to the posts about masculinity that so many in this thread are having Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #73

I feel like an exception EYESORE 9001 Sep 2023 #20

This message was self-deleted by its author elocs Sep 2023 #28

All of my close friends are now females multigraincracker Sep 2023 #29

Money peppertree Sep 2023 #31

yeah i just don't fit in. dembotoz Sep 2023 #32

I know how you feel. Xavier Breath Sep 2023 #53

My issue is my 27 year old son who lives alone, doesn't have a lot of friends or a significant other LymphocyteLover Sep 2023 #35

It really is hard for single men right now Johnny2X2X Sep 2023 #58

Yes, I hear you. Thanks. LymphocyteLover Sep 2023 #64

That math just doesn't make sense, as has been pointed out for years when incels make that claim. Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #65

Thank you for answering this post obamanut2012 Sep 2023 #86

"There's a dating website MorbidButterflyTat Sep 2023 #102

+1 betsuni Sep 2023 #131

As long as he's happy, is it really an issue? meadowlander Sep 2023 #81

That's true, although I don't think he is completely disinterested in those things LymphocyteLover Sep 2023 #83

I tried SpamWyzer Sep 2023 #37

Try being the SAH mom of a disabled child. Ilsa Sep 2023 #44

I can relate MorbidButterflyTat Sep 2023 #103

stay at home parents have a hard no matter the sex/gender SYFROYH Sep 2023 #48

Child rearing years are very unforgiving. It is very difficult to be the stray at home parent. 1WorldHope Sep 2023 #49

My mom turned to alcoholism. Greybnk48 Sep 2023 #52

agree, why single out men? treestar Sep 2023 #56

Because for the first time in history some of them are feeling it, so now it's important. Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #67

Exactly! Now help is on the way? FFS. n/t Greybnk48 Sep 2023 #68

In a search for common ground, I think we can all be thankful together and agree that it's good Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #71

Well that's one good thing. n/t Greybnk48 Sep 2023 #100

We've come a long way, baby. Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #101

LOL! n/t Greybnk48 Sep 2023 #105

Exactly obamanut2012 Sep 2023 #88

Yup. MorbidButterflyTat Sep 2023 #104

I am a woman, but was a stay at home for years with a disabled child. I was truly invisible. onecaliberal Sep 2023 #54

This is cultural and nation wide treestar Sep 2023 #55

Along with keeping social skills in use Marthe48 Sep 2023 #59

This article is a pantsload. hunter Sep 2023 #66

Thank you so much obamanut2012 Sep 2023 #89

So . . . Sympthsical Sep 2023 #84

"those who have gotten really used to centering themselves in everything" Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #91

I see what a person might think it is Sympthsical Sep 2023 #92

And where has anyone said, "stop talking about this"? Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #94

I'm not engaging in this Sympthsical Sep 2023 #95

Have a lovely evening. Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #96

I guess being on the receiving end of it means nothing boston bean Sep 2023 #135

I'm finding it interesting that the people who have joined the thread to say, "Here is how Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #139

Post 44 literally said "suck it up" NickB79 Sep 2023 #98

Again, your reading is a world away from mine. Ilsa shared the difficulties she has Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #99

You are grossly misreprsenting what Ilsa said obamanut2012 Sep 2023 #106

Well Stated RobinA Sep 2023 #108

+1 H2O Man Sep 2023 #110

OK, I shouldn't have, but your reponse prompted a giggle or two outta me Torchlight Sep 2023 #120

Gracious. H2O Man Sep 2023 #112

How is parenting in any context not a "Man's Work?" hunter Sep 2023 #121

Interesting question. H2O Man Sep 2023 #129

As a parent and a teacher you have got to be honest. hunter Sep 2023 #130

Right. H2O Man Sep 2023 #142

They need to do what women do ExWhoDoesntCare Sep 2023 #124

This thread was interesting before it dwelved into the dating crisis Jspur Sep 2023 #126

What "dating crisis?" hunter Sep 2023 #132

There is a dating crisis I think people in DU get sensistive about it espescially Jspur Sep 2023 #143

"I had my share of women throughout my youth." Oh, you "had" them. What does that mean? betsuni Sep 2023 #145

WTF? Brenda Sep 2023 #146

It's disgusting and still here. DU is fine with it. betsuni Sep 2023 #147

Oh good. The incel talking point again. Scrivener7 Sep 2023 #148