"I need feminism because..."

[FightForMichigan]

106. I know you mean well...

... but no.

It's not that there's anything wrong with self-defense classes. I understand they've done a lot to build up the self-esteem and strength of many people, men and women alike. So I'm not against them.

I just don't like to see it packaged as the solution to rape, because it isn't. Because when his hands are at your throat and you can't breathe, and he's screaming "DON'T YOU EVER SAY NO TO ME" and all you can think about is what you need to do to survive the night, and will you ever see another sunrise, and what will your parents do - it all kind of flies out the window.

The kind of self-defense you're talking about wouldn't have helped me. I was with someone I trusted right up to that moment. And then there was no time to think of fighting back like an all-star. I did what I had to do to survive.

So, self-defense? Sure. But there's something I just hate about this idea that women should just take a self-defense class and that will stop rape. Because it doesn't always. And sometimes it's not even safe to try. And those who don't try, or who do but can't stop it, they shouldn't have the burden of failure placed on their head. And too often, that's where this kind of thinking leads.