I live in a swing state gone red and have Trumpers in my wife's family. Should I cancel them?

[misanthrope]

102. A personal experience

We're in Alabama so both my family and my wife's are overflowing with Trumpers. My wife's uncle is a wealthy man who lives in a Gilded Age mansion and sees himself as the pater familias eager to give everyone his advice and perspective on everything political. He typically hosts the family Thanksgiving get-together and is fond of starting political talk during the event. It is a difficult thing to stomach when you don't agree with him because there you are, under his roof, eating food that he paid for, and taking issue with him makes a proper guest feel as if they are being ill-mannered or ungrateful. It sucks. He has you cornered psychologically and then is daring you to take disagree with him.

One year he clipped a political cartoon from a newspaper and put it near the buffet table, making sure to point it out to everyone. The cartoon showed a pair of Native Americans staring at masted European ships anchored offshore. One Native is saying to the other, "Don't worry. We have a vetting process."

It was a reference to the recent uproar over Obama allowing Syrian refugees into America. The subtext was that if we let the Syrians into the nation, only calamity would result. Not only was it ironic considering the role of Native Americans in the Thanksgiving holiday mythology, but right next to the cartoon was an award from his leadership roles in the Federation of Syrian-Lebanese Clubs. Their family's primary point of identification is their Lebanese ancestry.

Later that afternoon, he walked up to me and posed a pointed political question. I was at my limit.

"I think it is impolite to discuss divisive subjects at a gathering that is supposed to be about coming together and enjoying each other's company," I said in a mild tone. "I don't think it serves family unity."

He was quiet for a second and then changed the subject. He hasn't stirred any more political talk with me in the years since then.