General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Lots of blame for the Mother. Apparently Dad's off the hook , though, [View all]Dorian Gray
(13,479 posts)until this response to my post. I do think that's why many people are saying what they are saying. There are probably some gun "nuts" whose primary purpose is to protect their right to shoot things. A right I don't support. But, most people are searching for WHY. Trying to make sense of this. And it makes "sense" that the mother, the primary "caretaker" of Adam was at fault. That way it's just not as scary as it would be otherwise.
I don't blame the mother or the father or anyone else. Lanza's actions were his own. Whether he was truly mentally ill or not, we may never officially find out. My sister in law was killed almost two months ago by a driver who didn't see her. It was my mother in law and brother in law's instinct to be angry and blame the driver. The alternative, that she made a mistake by crossing a street at night without really looking was incomprehensible to them. But the driver did what he could do. He stopped. He called the police. He waited, despite my brother in law threatening to kill him while my SIL lay in the street. People need to assign blame, at least initially, so they can understand "why" something happens. It's not right. And certainly the father is no more deserving than the mother of assigning blame. The mother is a victim. The father's family is now fractured beyond repair. The survivors nor the dead deserve blame.