General Discussion

NNadir

(38,088 posts)

65. There are, in my view, limits to what one must endure for family.

Tue Apr 15, 2025, 11:00 AM

Apr 2025

I have a brother (probably MAGA, I wouldn't know) with whom I've not spoken for more than 20 years.

I forgave him stuff many times until I could forgive no more.

I don't know if he's alive or dead, but if I learned of his death I wouldn't go to a funeral if there was one. What would be the point? We were done with each other a long time ago. If he should find out that I've died and show up at a funeral should my wife arrange for one - my wish is that she simply send my corpse off to a medical school without comment, but that would be her call - I've advised my sons as to what snide remarks they should make.

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I've had a death in the family. I am in a little bit of a quandry. [View all] Coventina Apr 2025 OP

At the very least drive yourself so you can get the hell out of Dodge if you want to. Vinca Apr 2025 #1

I agree here. bluestarone Apr 2025 #17

Agreed SheltieLover Apr 2025 #24

Two words BonnieJW Apr 2025 #35

That does work! Stomach flu, "might have covid", woke up vomiting, you don't want to be around me. All good. Evolve Dammit Apr 2025 #49

drive yourself. Do not subject yourself to abuse WhiteTara Apr 2025 #2

Self-preservation ZDU Apr 2025 #3

Yes: first and foremost, protect yourself. WestMichRad Apr 2025 #51

I wouldnt go. Karadeniz Apr 2025 #4

A "sudden" illness or other life happening might suffice...Heck, all Maga lies to itself daily so what's the harm? wcmagumba Apr 2025 #5

Say you came down with Covid and can't make it. fierywoman Apr 2025 #19

I would try to find an excuse why you can't go. Emile Apr 2025 #6

Politics stops at the water's edge. Frasier Balzov Apr 2025 #7

IF you go, drive yourself. LoisB Apr 2025 #8

I agree, if she goes, she must drive herself. Irish_Dem Apr 2025 #22

That too. A sudden headache, a forgotten appointment, a stomach ache... LoisB Apr 2025 #26

Yes no need for drama, there can be a sudden headache, GI problems, etc. Irish_Dem Apr 2025 #34

Exactly. LoisB Apr 2025 #43

Yes no need to match the nasty energy. Irish_Dem Apr 2025 #44

My best advice is this, follow your instincts. William769 Apr 2025 #9

If you go, find a way if you can to be with a group of people you feel safe with. Girard442 Apr 2025 #10

I like the approach of a friend of mine. Memorize and use: "I don't feel comfortable..." hlthe2b Apr 2025 #11

And please don't say "I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable." SheltieLover Apr 2025 #25

Based on what you are saying I think you shouldn't go JI7 Apr 2025 #12

I would say, go if you agreed already... BUT rent a car or take Uber. harumph Apr 2025 #13

I'm sorry for your loss, Coventina Niagara Apr 2025 #14

"This might sound horrible, but I just don't feel safe." CrispyQ Apr 2025 #15

Take a deep breath. Drive yourself so you can escape. Ignore everything the idiots allegorical oracle Apr 2025 #16

Put me down in the "don't go" camp. UniqueUserName Apr 2025 #18

If it was me I wouldn't go at all, but if you feel obligated, definitely drive yourself. Ocelot II Apr 2025 #20

I don't do weddings and funerals. nt leftyladyfrommo Apr 2025 #64

But this is about the OP, who apparently does sometimes, Ocelot II Apr 2025 #67

Absolutely drive yourself TommyT139 Apr 2025 #21

You have every right Bettie Apr 2025 #23

Feeling unsafe is the end of the conversation. Basso8vb Apr 2025 #27

You don't have to go.... FarPoint Apr 2025 #28

No advice, but just a virtual DU hug. yardwork Apr 2025 #29

Take care of yourself. If that means ChazII Apr 2025 #30

Go to the service. PennRalphie Apr 2025 #31

I wouldn't go. Why put yourself into a toxic situation. Say you're not feeling well and be safe TommieMommy Apr 2025 #32

If you carpool, do it with ONLY your brother. soldierant Apr 2025 #33

Recommended. H2O Man Apr 2025 #36

Oh dear, was that you I just heard sneezing? tavernier Apr 2025 #37

Suffering To Demonstrate That One Cares Is A Fools Gambit MayReasonRule Apr 2025 #38

Can you and your brother team up and travel together? n/t TygrBright Apr 2025 #39

Putting yourself in harms way, for what? stillcool Apr 2025 #40

I hear the flu is going around. If you don't want a confrontation, I'd suddenly come down with the flu a few days MLAA Apr 2025 #41

Send a card then enjoy your day doing exactly what you want. ❤️ littlemissmartypants Apr 2025 #42

Sorry in advance that you have the flu. Joinfortmill Apr 2025 #45

Well founded Cirsium Apr 2025 #46

Good luck. You'll be ok. Lot's of good advice here. mountain grammy Apr 2025 #47

We are here, and I'm sorry for your quandary. Your gut is telling you to not carpool and have freedom to leave if needed Evolve Dammit Apr 2025 #48

or just not go. Sorry for the add on Evolve Dammit Apr 2025 #50

Do not under any circumstances get stuck in a car with them. Say you'll drive alone... Hekate Apr 2025 #52

iIf they are violent, stay home. That has nothing to do with politics Warpy Apr 2025 #53

With just a few exceptions catchnrelease Apr 2025 #54

Drive yourself. ReRe Apr 2025 #55

Take care... Blue Ozarks Apr 2025 #56

Easy fix xuplate Apr 2025 #57

I've got a funeral for a MAGA cousin a couple of days ahead of yours. Ms. Toad Apr 2025 #58

Here's what I've done the last couple of times. Iggo Apr 2025 #59

You have an important DR appt 1st thing Monday morning mercuryblues Apr 2025 #60

🕯️🕊️💙🌈 I know what Cha Apr 2025 #61

Yes, drive yourself. viva la Apr 2025 #62

If you don't feel safe emotionally, do not go biophile Apr 2025 #63

There are, in my view, limits to what one must endure for family. NNadir Apr 2025 #65

If you Rebl2 Apr 2025 #66

Ask if there is a livestream option. IzzaNuDay Apr 2025 #68

I went to a funeral of a former colleague before the election progressoid Apr 2025 #69