Trump tells Canadian Voters - Elect Me!

[jmowreader]

5. Response from the Great People of Canada

Fuck you. We've come to appreciate and enjoy all the wonderful things we have here - Molson beer, Crown Royal, poutine, Kraft Dinner, pet moose, fried walleye, legal weed, Hockey Night in Canada, Timbits and tax-paid healthcare. All those would end if we became your 51st state. Besides, in case you hadn't noticed you couldn't make Canada one state. It's too fucking big. It's bigger than the entire United States. It would become the states of Newfoundland and Labrador, Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Quebec, Ontario, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta, British Columbia, Nunavut, Yukon and the Northwest Territories. All thirteen of your new states would vote solidly Democratic just to piss you off and turn your shitty party into the minority it should have been all along. If you made us be Americans, the first two things we'd do are impeach your stupid ass and turn ourselves back into Canada.

So drop this shit now. You have plenty of things to do without trying to turn countries that don't want to be states into states.