Trump's Got A Guy Named Steve With Charts That Say The Economy's Great! -- Wonkette [View all]
https://www.wonkette.com/p/trumps-got-a-guy-named-steve-with
Marcie Jones
And like a hundred new tariffs, but whatever.

Attention Walmart shoppers! Do The Groceries seem more expensive? Unemployed and cant find a job? All of that is in your imagination, because President Donald J. Trump has got charts, beautiful charts, charts with new, secret data that no one has ever seen before, and still cant really see because the numbers are very small and blurry. But the charts and this white man named Steve who saw the numbers inscribed on a secret tablet he was directed to by some peepstones say YOURE WRONG ABOUT THE ECONOMY, America!
Poor Abe Lincoln, hanging his head in shame. What is that X axis? Why are those blurry numbers comparing some kind of data from Trumps first term to Bidens? Oh, because you cant count COVID, COVID numbers dont count! TRUMP CALLED A DO-OVER! Hey, who was the president who failed to control COVID when it arrived in the first place, lied about the numbers of infected and dead, and pushed fake cures? Also wouldnt Trumps first term be OBUMMERS or BIDENS economy, didnt Trump just claim that the first months of 2025 was Trump-economy sloppy seconds?
Whatever, no reporter is going to ask him about any of that, and risk getting themselves and their organization banished from the Oval Office or plane like some kind of AP, Wall Street Journal, or HuffPost. The scrum has got to triage its questions around his goldfish attention span and the hairplug-trigger rage that explodes the instant he gets any sense hes being challenged.
Yes, the American consumer is doing just great, and also going to be paying 50 percent tariffs on goods from India now, and higher tariffs on goods from 90-ish other countries as of last night (though even the New York Times is unsure of the exact number). But that is good, because Dear Leader says Americans buy too much Indian stuff, and India buys Russian oil, and Vladimir Putin himself will decide when he wants to stop bombing Ukrainian hospitals and if he wants peace talks with Ukraine or not, THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER, NOW FILTHY REPORTERS GET OUT!
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