Is he dead yet?

[Warpy]

35. His tie finally realized its unique opportunity and strangled him

Melania got tired of waiting to be a rich widow and stabbed him to death with 5 inch stiletto heels.

On his reciprocal visit to Moscow, was so eager to applaud Putin and salute the Russian Army that he stepped out of the chopper while it was 30 feet up. The Russians just sopped up the mess with the red carpet he'd insisted on and announced the talks as the most productive yet.