ICE agents are sad..they cant use the toilet in peace

[gfarber]

29. ICE Restroom Travails

There once were some agents from ICE
Who demanded a bathroom in peace.
But protesters said, “Nah,
You can piss off—ha ha,”
And blocked every exit like geese.

In Minnesota, DHS cried,
“We’re harassed every time we’ve tried
To take one quick leak
By a pump or a Meek—
Why won’t mobs let our bladders subside?”

They posted on X with a moan:
“Agitators won’t leave us alone!
They yell and they stalk,
Won’t let squad cars unlock—
Even Chevron’s a danger zone.”

An agent lunged forward, all tough,
To detain someone spitting their stuff.
But the crowd said “Oh please,”
And dogpiled with ease—
Turns out cosplay cops aren’t that buff.

So DHS begs us to feel
For the trauma of restroom ordeal:
“Sure, we cage human lives,
But draw one goddamn line—
Let us shit behind Speedy Mart steel.”

The lesson, if one must be learned:
You reap what you’ve brutally earned.
When you terrorize towns,
Don’t act shocked when it rounds
Back on you—now hold it, concerned.