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WestMichRad

(3,059 posts) Thu Feb 5, 2026, 12:54 PM 8 hrs ago

Winter Olympics 'penis-gate' sparks anti-doping concerns [View all]

Extraordinary questions have arisen over the prospect of athletes injecting acid into the penis, which would theoretically increase the suit sizes of ski-jumpers and improve aerodynamics.

Preliminary events are underway in Italy, where the 2026 Games will begin in earnest on Friday, and already there have been unusual concerns around the men’s ski jumping, which is due to start on Monday.

German publication Bild has raised the question of whether athletes might inject hyaluronic acid into their penises, in a bid to increase the size of their genitalia – with the wider aim of enhanced suit sizes to improve aerodynamics.
https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/winter-olympics/ski-jump-penis-injections-winter-olympics-2026-b2914655.html

Okay, I didn’t have this on my bingo card!

44 replies

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Winter Olympics 'penis-gate' sparks anti-doping concerns [View all] WestMichRad 8 hrs ago OP

Hyaluronic Acid Penis is my Ramones cover band name. flvegan 8 hrs ago #1

... leftstreet 8 hrs ago #2

Injections in the penis are not painful if done correctly, I'm told. dickthegrouch 8 hrs ago #14

And is your hit song DevineAli 7 hrs ago #22

Huh. My, uh, friend's penis enlargement kit didn't even mention the improved ski jump aerodynamics. nt sl8 8 hrs ago #3

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Alliepoo 8 hrs ago #6

This is one of the... 2naSalit 8 hrs ago #4

Same here. The corruption at the IOC, the bs with the soviet judges niyad 5 hrs ago #33

The Jamaican Olympics team is going to be all over this one. John1956PA 8 hrs ago #5

;-{)...... Goonch 8 hrs ago #7

This plan doesn't work for ALL Olympics events. Beartracks 8 hrs ago #8

Gives new meaning to the "hoist by his own petard" phrase. 3catwoman3 5 hrs ago #35

One photo caption I saw read: "The Frenchman's intrusive baguette cost him a clearance." Beartracks 4 hrs ago #43

Heh, I'm thinking Disaffected 8 hrs ago #9

See #8 above. 3catwoman3 5 hrs ago #36

Could be a boon for viewership underpants 8 hrs ago #10

How does a larger suit improve aerodynamics? quaint 8 hrs ago #11

Rate of descent Tasmanian Devil 7 hrs ago #18

I think that guy might have injected a little too much. sl8 7 hrs ago #20

Well, then why dont they just require everyone to wear the largest size standard cup thats available, Volaris 6 hrs ago #23

Turning into a wing Tasmanian Devil 6 hrs ago #24

"Dude! Impressive wing!" WestMichRad 5 hrs ago #40

It would be good for snack storage. littlemissmartypants 5 hrs ago #30

You did it - reminded me of this classic NewHendoLib 8 hrs ago #12

"That's not my bag, baby," Men's Olympic Ski Jumper Bristlecone 8 hrs ago #13

This message was self-deleted by its author sl8 8 hrs ago #15

AIIEEEE! DavidDvorkin 7 hrs ago #16

If you're relying on your penis to act as an aerodynamic wing, you're doing something wrong. PeaceWave 7 hrs ago #17

snicker!!! niyad 5 hrs ago #28

Hyaluronic acid is a substance naturally found in the body jmowreader 7 hrs ago #19

It is in a great many personal care products as well. niyad 5 hrs ago #26

!!! mwmisses4289 7 hrs ago #21

This is The Onion, yes??? PLEASE tell me this is The Onion. niyad 5 hrs ago #25

"improve aerodynamics" - well, that seems counter-intuitive! UTUSN 5 hrs ago #27

I guess if... littlemissmartypants 5 hrs ago #29

... orangecrush 5 hrs ago #31

I guess size does matter. MLAA 5 hrs ago #32

Pablo Torre did a podcast chelsea0011 5 hrs ago #34

Gives new meaning to the definition of "Aerodynamic Helmet" ToxMarz 5 hrs ago #37

OK, here's my stupid question. ananda 5 hrs ago #38

Just guessing, but... WestMichRad 5 hrs ago #41

Well, the good part is that it's hilariously funny. ananda 3 hrs ago #44

Take A Look At My Enormous Deep State Witch 5 hrs ago #39

I do love barbershop quartet harmony. 3catwoman3 4 hrs ago #42