Is he dead yet?

[Warpy]

15. Awed by the magnificence of his 13 foot gold leafed statue at Doral

is transfixed to the point he goes into shock from the lack of caffeine from Diet Cokes;.

Not quite transfixed enough by the statue, notices the PGA crowd pointing and laughing at one of the finest examples of tacky hubris on the planet, goes into an equally monumental rage and pops a few clots and drops dead.


clever sculptor and his studio staff have programmed the statue's plinth to give way when Fatso approaches within 5 feet. Plinth gives way, statue squashes him like a bug. When the tones of bronze and gold leaf are lifted off, nothing is left but a nasty grease stain slowly oozing into the soil.