I don't really know how to articulate this post...

[iamthebandfanman]

23. glad youre finding that seeing someone is helpful..

i never did...

i was diagnosed with clinical depression and general anxiety disorder at 13 and bi polar at 17.
i take zero meds at this time and dispute the bi polar diagnoses.
i would be seeking medication for my anxiety, but my state requires monthly drug testing.. and since i use marijuana to self medicate, that rules that out.

i was constantly given self help books...
told i couldnt change society so i needed to change myself..
that i cared too much for others, and needed to be more selfish...
i was told this by multiple 'psychologists'...

i reject these notions...
especially coming from a field where most things are just theory.

like i say tho, im glad its working out for you...and i always encourage others to seek out help because it does infact seem to help some people...
as for me tho...
no amount of talking or medication
can bring me false faith..
can change the fact that i will die...
can change the fact that most people are selfish liars..
or change the fact that we live in the upside down world we live in today.

i just chalk it up to being born during the wrong time period of human evolution.. and carry on with my day to day activities best i can...
there are alot of distractions to be found if ya just look for them

i would say the anxiety is the hardest thing to deal with tho.. and it has definitely prevented me from accomplishing things and attempting things in my life. not because i was 'afraid', but because i literally have a physical reaction to pressure.
even doing something as simple as registering for college (signing up for classes) would make me break down into tears, panic, and trouble breathing.

i just found out last week that i have meniere's disease (well, all the symptoms besides hearing loss so far)... and i was told stress and anxiety are believed to aggravate it... so thats great
lol