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seabeyond

(110,159 posts)

8. i am you. my boys are 14 and working on 17

Wed Feb 1, 2012, 11:39 AM

Feb 2012

we live in the panhandle of texas. all their life they have spoken from the other side of the isle with very little support. we also talk openly about all things in our house. and i have yet to have to address behaviors and choices.

my youngest when he was 12, 13 was telling me about his sex ed class, with older son. we were addressing the issues of fear to stop kids, and the reality and truths. at a point he says, i am going ot try to wait. it literally took time to enter my head. what? i couldnt believe i was hearing this from this boy. having already had many conversations with older son, i thought we put that to rest. but he being 3 yrs younger, i realized i had not started the real talking with him yet.

now son, i dont want you to get married until you are older. do you really think you are going to wait?

then backpedaling, not that i am saying go out now and....

but reality is, in the very fundie community we live, i identify with all you say.

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Who says raising boys is easier? [View all] seabeyond Feb 2012 OP

I have one of each and we live in a VERY conservative area... renie408 Feb 2012 #1

Yep, we were the liberal atheists in the community Lionessa Feb 2012 #3

As a freshman in college I said I would probably SharonAnn Feb 2012 #48

Wonderful story, congratulations on raising good kids. cpamomfromtexas Feb 2012 #4

i am you. my boys are 14 and working on 17 seabeyond Feb 2012 #8

Kids don't understand religion, but they understand parents freefaller62 Feb 2012 #32

Boys give you grey hairs before puberty. Girls after. /nt TheMadMonk Feb 2012 #2

meh... it really has been pretty easy, before and ofter. one rolls her eyes seabeyond Feb 2012 #9

Uh, no.... Darth_Kitten Feb 2012 #83

unless you are a parent to the boys. then it is not so tough. i guess the same seabeyond Feb 2012 #84

It's all based on averages Alcibiades Feb 2012 #5

i have exactly what you have in ALL things, but they are both boys. seabeyond Feb 2012 #10

It just sort of happened that way Alcibiades Feb 2012 #64

I love the last part of your post... renie408 Feb 2012 #18

Some kids are just more argumentative than others. surrealAmerican Feb 2012 #74

that is what i have found. out of all the little girls that fit the gender role seabeyond Feb 2012 #75

The gender roles that society forces on men are every bit as smothering as those it forces on women. dawg Feb 2012 #6

you are right on and i couldnt agree with you more dawg. seabeyond Feb 2012 #11

I think that gender roles in many aspects are even more rigid for boys KitSileya Feb 2012 #67

really? norway, too. i love the story of the kid. lol. seabeyond Feb 2012 #68

When you have a boy, you worry about one dick. With a girl, you worry about every dick in town! HopeHoops Feb 2012 #7

Bingo! meaculpa2011 Feb 2012 #12

then maybe we ought to raise our girls without the gender influence. i was in an highly competitive seabeyond Feb 2012 #14

My girls don't burst into tears - they strike a fighting stance - so does my wife. HopeHoops Feb 2012 #20

Is yelling and physical intimidation even that good of a method for training animals? redqueen Feb 2012 #21

further, my sons that had coaches that behaved that way had issues with them seabeyond Feb 2012 #23

Men who teach/coach boys have the benefit of having been boys themselves. lumberjack_jeff Feb 2012 #53

i would not agree that the average boys is not as sensitive as girls. i do think we condition them seabeyond Feb 2012 #55

We condition them not to show sensitivity. retread Feb 2012 #71

we so condition. i was thinking of nephews, sons, their friends at 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 seabeyond Feb 2012 #72

So boys benefit from treatment that is shown not to work so well on animals... redqueen Feb 2012 #60

Every successful male athelete was yelled at. lumberjack_jeff Feb 2012 #78

some of the greatest coaches of all times, dont coach like that. and their players love them seabeyond Feb 2012 #79

No doubt... meaculpa2011 Feb 2012 #86

true true true.... i have found this not only i my own experience in highly competitive sports seabeyond Feb 2012 #88

Should've gone with baseball. No crying in baseball. JNelson6563 Feb 2012 #51

my boys and niece were watching that the other day and i walked in at that scene seabeyond Feb 2012 #52

Really fun stuff. Tom Hanks is awesome. JNelson6563 Feb 2012 #59

that is beyond silly. hm. girl get preg once. a boy impreg many. ya, worry MUCH less. seabeyond Feb 2012 #13

My former coworker had a daughter that gave birth a month prematurely Nikia Feb 2012 #15

isnt that a stupid saying. and we have allowed to stand way longer than it should seabeyond Feb 2012 #16

It's an old saying. When my third was born someone said it was God's way of paying me back. HopeHoops Feb 2012 #19

i so know it is an old saying. so many of those old sayings, like boys are easier seabeyond Feb 2012 #24

I was originally afraid, but they turned out to be great kids. No complaints. HopeHoops Feb 2012 #31

a story.... i had two brothers. a year older and two years older seabeyond Feb 2012 #33

And where does all this nonsense stem from? redqueen Feb 2012 #17

"ready to liberate boys from its grasp." it is good to be a man. i have heard this on 3 commercials seabeyond Feb 2012 #26

Yeah, I don't meet those commercials definitions. white_wolf Feb 2012 #28

exactly. i know seabeyond Feb 2012 #34

There is a strong social undercurrent that it's not okay to be a man. lumberjack_jeff Feb 2012 #49

i think domestic violence is very relevant and not indicative of being a man. i think the courthouse seabeyond Feb 2012 #54

I don't know about raising children, since I don't have any. However I will say this: white_wolf Feb 2012 #22

+1000000000000 redqueen Feb 2012 #25

raising 2 boys, couldnt agree more. middle school PTA, a program for girls to deal with all the seabeyond Feb 2012 #27

The only reason there are differences in gender is because society invents these roles. white_wolf Feb 2012 #30

i agree. at about 2, i started buying dinosaurs. my son would start a river going around the seabeyond Feb 2012 #35

I have read studies that disagree completely with what you claim joeglow3 Feb 2012 #41

There are differences, but they aren't all or nothing. redqueen Feb 2012 #57

We discussed this a few years ago joeglow3 Feb 2012 #61

That's funny because Snake Alchemist is busy saying it's a myth that boys mature more slowly. redqueen Feb 2012 #62

please give me a couple examples of those gender roles being reinforced that women went off on. seabeyond Feb 2012 #65

Usually before they can talk. redqueen Feb 2012 #42

what got me, was how many grown men told my 2, 3 yr old sons what men they were. seabeyond Feb 2012 #43

I never thought about that... redqueen Feb 2012 #50

i stopped it immediately. any man say that to my sons and i would look them in the eyes seabeyond Feb 2012 #56

Yep, no difference. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #39

This should be an OP. nt redqueen Feb 2012 #44

and again, son next to two niece. way ahead. condition girls quiet and listen. boys go play seabeyond Feb 2012 #45

Yep, no difference. nt Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #46

Girls can go to their teachers, their custodial parents or to social service agencies lumberjack_jeff Feb 2012 #47

Yes. Boys are told to "suck it up" when ever they have Jennicut Feb 2012 #58

ok... SwampG8r Feb 2012 #29

lol seabeyond Feb 2012 #36

refocusing more than help SwampG8r Feb 2012 #37

hey.... seabeyond Feb 2012 #38

back atcha SwampG8r Feb 2012 #40

unemployment, unwanted pregnancies, and jail. Boys are NOT easier. librechik Feb 2012 #63

i love your cat jammin. nt seabeyond Feb 2012 #66

It ain't - it's just different Taverner Feb 2012 #69

women haters says boys are easier. All things female are bad...apparently Liberal_in_LA Feb 2012 #70

unfortunately, seabeyond Feb 2012 #81

When boys act like boys we drug them. retread Feb 2012 #73

i was brought into kindergarten to observe my son seabeyond Feb 2012 #76

I wonder if any of it might stem from being emotionally stifled. redqueen Feb 2012 #77

Depends on the kid, but the OP's point is taken JCMach1 Feb 2012 #80

Boys easier to raise? I don't think so.... Darth_Kitten Feb 2012 #82

i have been thinking about this, what i see. and i think kids, both genders seabeyond Feb 2012 #85

interesting read, though I don't understand the opening sentence fishwax Feb 2012 #87

i dont think it was the best sentence in the whole article.... seabeyond Feb 2012 #89