General Discussion

marions ghost

(19,841 posts)

76. Not the men I know...

Sun Mar 17, 2013, 10:19 PM

Mar 2013

My old gentlemanly dad used to do the chair thing, but he kinda gave it up in relief I think. (He had 3 feminist daughters and a feminist wife--they didn't require it).

Flowers are nice from time to time...that's not a bad old fashioned thing. (I'm allergic to chocolate).

But seems like there are hoards of men who are just dying to do ye olde chivalry thing. I can't imagine why, in this day and age. I guess women give them positive feedback. Otherwise, why would you?

I never have let any guy pay for dinners or movies or anything like that. Not unless there's some agreed upon reciprocity.

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As a long time benevolent sexist [View all] Bennyboy Mar 2013 OP

OH FFS. JTFrog Mar 2013 #1

Yep. But we saw this one coming a mile away, didn't we? Squinch Mar 2013 #23

not really, he was on a hayabusa snooper2 Mar 2013 #79

I know a LOT of women Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #2

are you suggesting the women on du came up with the theory of benevolent sexism and has seabeyond Mar 2013 #3

I am suggesting no such thing. Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #5

i am glad to hear you are not giving ownership of benevolent sexism to the women of du and recognize seabeyond Mar 2013 #8

It is just that Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #14

Post removed Post removed Mar 2013 #58

No they don't MattBaggins Mar 2013 #60

^^^ This! RetroLounge Mar 2013 #212

Who knew your tendrils of feminine persuasion Helen Reddy Mar 2013 #184

amusing, huh... lol. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #192

I don't. I find it to be insulting. MadrasT Mar 2013 #4

If you choose to go through life Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #10

I imagine the corollary is also true... LanternWaste Mar 2013 #185

I find pulling out chairs to be annoying. redqueen Mar 2013 #25

ugh, I hate the chair thing. noamnety Mar 2013 #29

It's always made me feel awkward too. boston bean Mar 2013 #34

Right? It's so weird. redqueen Mar 2013 #39

I think you're probably right about the origins of this gesture Mister Ed Mar 2013 #90

the last sentence sigmasix Mar 2013 #167

Here's that awkward hovering thing LOL marions ghost Mar 2013 #50

If anyone was racing to pull out my chair, or running to the other side of the car boston bean Mar 2013 #62

Not the men I know... marions ghost Mar 2013 #76

Maybe Glamrock Mar 2013 #122

i have taught my sons the rules. i also explained benevolent sexism and the issue with it seabeyond Mar 2013 #129

No doubt... Glamrock Mar 2013 #140

i do not know where the dumbass is coming from, but no.... i am not saying your loved ones are seabeyond Mar 2013 #144

Just checking Glamrock Mar 2013 #146

whatever. there is nothing in my post to even kinda suggest that or snark. seabeyond Mar 2013 #148

Apparently, I interpreted your words incorrectly. Glamrock Mar 2013 #154

No, it doesn't promote sexism. But I'm glad you said that because there has been sabrina 1 Mar 2013 #198

Yes I'm sure marions ghost Mar 2013 #180

many women give flowers to guys these days also JI7 Mar 2013 #137

It sure seems very retro now marions ghost Mar 2013 #179

You know whats AsahinaKimi Mar 2013 #187

you made me want to bow at my keyboard, trigger kicked. seabeyond Mar 2013 #191

ok, but the worse, is a hand on the small of the back to be guided. as if i could not find my way. seabeyond Mar 2013 #80

And that certain contingent ... 99Forever Mar 2013 #6

+100 n/t zappaman Mar 2013 #7

I've been a very proud member Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #12

Me too! zappaman Mar 2013 #13

You too, what enemy list are you on. Have you seen such a list? nt boston bean Mar 2013 #16

Oh, puleeze ... Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #20

Puleeze point me to this enemies list you are on? boston bean Mar 2013 #21

I've already explained this to you. Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #53

Sometimes the fault lies with the explainer. boston bean Mar 2013 #64

Okay, I'll give this one more try ... Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #68

So, it's an invisible list you've made up out of whole cloth. boston bean Mar 2013 #71

Me, the victim? Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #87

Will you be holding my chair out for me? Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #18

No zappaman Mar 2013 #32

i'm working on it datasuspect Mar 2013 #59

What enemy list? Can you point me to it? boston bean Mar 2013 #15

I've pretty happily been on it forever. nt. polly7 Mar 2013 #19

Congratulations! Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #22

Thanks! I'm glad to be in yours. polly7 Mar 2013 #27

+100 n/t zappaman Mar 2013 #28

Thanks, zappaman:) polly7 Mar 2013 #36

Excellent post! sabrina 1 Mar 2013 #205

So you admit to trolling just to provoke fights with them? MattBaggins Mar 2013 #66

Bingo. n/t MoclipsHumptulips Mar 2013 #196

I admit to engaging in discussion, Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #229

Is DU for building bonds with fellow democrats MattBaggins Mar 2013 #230

Who's laughing at fellow Democrats? Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #231

Enemy list? Please show it to me. boston bean Mar 2013 #17

Legend has it, it is circulated by PM Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #33

Well, if there is one, I wouldn't know. Therefore I ask those boston bean Mar 2013 #37

Hmmm... 99Forever Mar 2013 #52

Here's part of it. name not needed Mar 2013 #69

I didn't know that much ugliness could fit on a single page. Bonobo Mar 2013 #153

Amazing, ain't it? zappaman Mar 2013 #159

Yup... I have this theory of the "loop" Bonobo Mar 2013 #160

As far a theories go, that one ain't half bad. zappaman Mar 2013 #161

Wow, that's a nasty page full of stank. RetroLounge Mar 2013 #214

Looks to be mostly the product of one person's unhealthy obsessions. nomorenomore08 Mar 2013 #219

So because they're (supposedly) being assholes then other people will be assholes in response? nomorenomore08 Mar 2013 #168

Assholes? 99Forever Mar 2013 #171

How could calling anybody a (hypothetical) jerk be considered "hate speech?" nomorenomore08 Mar 2013 #193

Hypothetical? 99Forever Mar 2013 #197

I meant an actual person hypothetically *being* a jerk. nomorenomore08 Mar 2013 #199

Now I'm really confused. 99Forever Mar 2013 #201

Sorry, I'll try. You initially said that certain posters were "hurting their cause" by being nomorenomore08 Mar 2013 #203

There's no "supposedly" to it. 99Forever Mar 2013 #213

So what were you trying to say? I'm honestly curious. nomorenomore08 Mar 2013 #217

It's quite simple. 99Forever Mar 2013 #223

Okay, don't know if I agree but I certainly understand (in the sense of "comprehend.") nomorenomore08 Mar 2013 #224

i don't care for some stranger to compliment me on my looks JI7 Mar 2013 #26

Well, have a nice life Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #51

when their "compliments and common courtesy" makes me uncomfortable JI7 Mar 2013 #55

You shouldn't. Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #61

act of kindness ? how are those things acts of kindness ? JI7 Mar 2013 #63

There is no point in trying to explain Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #84

thinking that every man is out to insult you, belittle you, demean you seabeyond Mar 2013 #86

And "waiting for a man to do it" Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #91

you said it, woman. i copied and pasted. really, more scorn, please. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #93

Please feel free to 'copy and paste' whatever you wish. Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #121

justifications, validations, excuses. meh.... nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #123

In other words Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #131

no. justification, validations and excuses. i say the same to the boys when the try to excuse seabeyond Mar 2013 #136

I will certainly carry on with the scorn Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #141

And there it is--the "you hate men" smear---a sure sign an anti-feminist has lost an argument. nt geek tragedy Mar 2013 #142

If the shoe fits ... Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #147

who are you to "identify" another woman as a man hater. you are funny. but, alas.... seabeyond Mar 2013 #150

It is when you lie about her being a man-hater. geek tragedy Mar 2013 #151

I've read many, many of her posts Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #155

It really is his specialty... opiate69 Mar 2013 #156

Thanks! Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #166

Yes, she complains too much about sexism, ergo she hates men. geek tragedy Mar 2013 #158

i have seen your happy little ass in a lot of these threads complaining about sexism, you man hater, seabeyond Mar 2013 #162

can we talk about smoking duck instead? snooper2 Mar 2013 #238

Her complaining about sexism isn't the issue Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #163

It was never entertaining when Rush Limbaugh was able for find people claiming to be sabrina 1 Mar 2013 #200

Do you think the general idea that men should treat women different geek tragedy Mar 2013 #204

Your question makes no sense to me, so let me ask you, are you sabrina 1 Mar 2013 #220

To put it a third way, is there any reason to extend different levels of courtesy to women geek tragedy Mar 2013 #222

Well, you avoided the question. And who said that different levels of courtesy should be extended to sabrina 1 Mar 2013 #225

No. What is meant by benevolent sexism is not simple courtesy. geek tragedy Mar 2013 #226

Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem and Simone De Beauvoir need schoolin' from you that THEY are the seabeyond Mar 2013 #216

Couldn't agree more. Soundman Mar 2013 #211

Dead on. This poster is always speaking in absolutes. NCTraveler Mar 2013 #221

WTF? She doesn't hate men. I'm a man and she and I get along famously. Evoman Mar 2013 #227

trout fishing, steak eating? good to see you toss out stupid stereotypes for both sexes at least. bettyellen Mar 2013 #208

Are you suggesting that Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #228

from your post it seems you think they are somehow emblematic of the male experience, LOL. bettyellen Mar 2013 #232

The fact that you equate fishing and steaks Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #233

um, you did that, and i pointed it out to you how ridiculous it is. bettyellen Mar 2013 #234

I chose two random topics Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #235

I equated your mindset with the 1950's... because you chose to portray men with old fashioned bettyellen Mar 2013 #236

I'll try this once more ... Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #237

"Hey you're a sexist for talking about sexism"= a bag of horseshit bettyellen Mar 2013 #239

Lost the last argument Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #241

Wish I could rec this post. RiffRandell Mar 2013 #169

Not everyone holds the outdated view that women should be grateful for geek tragedy Mar 2013 #72

No one has said anything here Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #83

You're lecturing the feminists here because they don't accept the Ozzie and Harriet geek tragedy Mar 2013 #89

Exactly where Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #127

Check out the condescension you handed out here: geek tragedy Mar 2013 #135

Yet again Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #145

Did it ever occur to you that making a compliment on a stranger's physical appearance geek tragedy Mar 2013 #149

Yeah Summer Hathaway Mar 2013 #165

it is very poor manners to comment on a strangers appearance. I thought most people knew that? bettyellen Mar 2013 #206

Nope, it's good manners if a nice guy/gentleman does it. nt geek tragedy Mar 2013 #209

Where do you get off lecturing a woman on what she should be offended at? Bonobo Mar 2013 #240

I don't believe in treating women different--if they are geek tragedy Mar 2013 #242

Ironically, I agree. nt Bonobo Mar 2013 #244

This feminist mostly agrees with her. Seems to me, and for the record she and I sabrina 1 Mar 2013 #202

Because she by fiat declared her particular norms MattBaggins Mar 2013 #67

Post removed Post removed Mar 2013 #92

wtf are you talking about ? sometimes you don't realize things are uncomfortable until JI7 Mar 2013 #97

Yeah right! left on green only Mar 2013 #103

so you think women who might want to dress nice or a certain way are looking for JI7 Mar 2013 #106

yes. this is what too many men think. we have had a thread on it. a woman dresses nice, it is FOR seabeyond Mar 2013 #110

that post certainly revealed a lot JI7 Mar 2013 #116

What does you control your appearance for sibelian Mar 2013 #157

i'm talking about comments from strangers, if one dresses up nice for a friend's birthday party JI7 Mar 2013 #164

So the only reasons a woman would be wearing uncomfortable shoes ever is that she's geek tragedy Mar 2013 #108

I agree treestar Mar 2013 #195

You can't think of one woman who doesn't love strange men commenting on their geek tragedy Mar 2013 #57

Yeah, but a lot of men have jumped on the bandwagon too. NaturalHigh Mar 2013 #173

No levity allowed. If you're laughing, you're not learning. polly7 Mar 2013 #181

I've heard that. NaturalHigh Mar 2013 #183

'I thought that women enjoyed it as well, when men did that." zappaman Mar 2013 #9

You probably aren't doing anything wrong. So therefore, this OP seems unnecessary. nomorenomore08 Mar 2013 #11

I don't think a vocal minority on DU is representative of women as a whole. LittleBlue Mar 2013 #24

do you do it for men ? JI7 Mar 2013 #31

No LittleBlue Mar 2013 #44

why wait to do it for a woman unless she is close behind also ? why make her rush ? JI7 Mar 2013 #45

Because I receive positive reactions LittleBlue Mar 2013 #46

maybe because nobody ever did it for the men before JI7 Mar 2013 #47

I think it's just an excuse to interact with the opposite sex LittleBlue Mar 2013 #48

i agree JI7 Mar 2013 #49

Face palm MattBaggins Mar 2013 #70

That's your right LittleBlue Mar 2013 #74

I hold the door and offer to help everyone because it is the right thing to do. MattBaggins Mar 2013 #75

Who said anything about getting laid? LittleBlue Mar 2013 #77

So your not one of these 20 something morons MattBaggins Mar 2013 #81

I don't use a fragrance other than deodorant LittleBlue Mar 2013 #82

No, now a vocal group of men BainsBane Mar 2013 #35

Not only men BB Helen Reddy Mar 2013 #186

yes, as always BainsBane Mar 2013 #188

To be clear, Helen Reddy Mar 2013 #189

No worries BainsBane Mar 2013 #190

Holy fuck, Benny. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #30

Poor Benny he's been attacked by feminists on DU. boston bean Mar 2013 #38

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #40

"it's not an outrage on the level of a picture from 1937..." zappaman Mar 2013 #41

I have no idea what you are talking about. boston bean Mar 2013 #42

You got it. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #43

I hate pork rinds! Vinnie From Indy Mar 2013 #54

I know, I mean what woman doesn't like to be told she has a great ass, right? geek tragedy Mar 2013 #56

really? backwoodsbob Mar 2013 #78

Ask any woman who's gone jogging in NYC. geek tragedy Mar 2013 #99

a favorite. but then, i am sure this cartoonist is a part of our small evil group, seabeyond Mar 2013 #100

A favorite of mine--Maggie Estep geek tragedy Mar 2013 #102

yo yo yo .... hey, if only she would change her "tone" i bet more men would listen to her. seabeyond Mar 2013 #104

"What you got a problem with men?" nt geek tragedy Mar 2013 #105

no. just stupid men. lol lol. yo yo yo ..... nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #107

LOL Matariki Mar 2013 #118

i had never heard it or the singer. but, was cute. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #120

Oh, the whole album is awesome and funny. Matariki Mar 2013 #125

no more mr nice girl. i love. thanks seabeyond Mar 2013 #133

I remember that video being on Beavis and Butthead about 20 years ago. NaturalHigh Mar 2013 #174

Do you honestly know one person that cartoon has happened to? NaturalHigh Mar 2013 #175

yes. i would be one. many many other would be another. yes, i get men do not have any comprehension seabeyond Mar 2013 #176

I think it happens to all women gollygee Mar 2013 #177

Hollered at? Undoubtedly. NaturalHigh Mar 2013 #182

Or, any woman who has taken her donkey to market. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #128

or bicycling. Ask women what gets yelled at them if they are eating ice cream or a hot dog... bettyellen Mar 2013 #210

a lot of guys do that, even crap like nice tits and other shit JI7 Mar 2013 #101

I'd be careful about the compliments on their looks. Other than that, keep on. n/t Ian David Mar 2013 #65

I like eating dill pickle chips with sour cream. Apophis Mar 2013 #73

I hope you're encouraging the ladies to smile - Morning Dew Mar 2013 #85

lol lol. ya. that one too. focused on whatever and some stranger tells me to smile.... seabeyond Mar 2013 #88

i know, right? It's not enough to be seen as a "decoration" - Morning Dew Mar 2013 #94

well, that is our reason for being. we do have that obligation to make sure we are inviting.... seabeyond Mar 2013 #95

Oh puke. I like the fact that women tend to prefer jerks like me to chivalrous, nice guys. Evoman Mar 2013 #96

Hard to believe marions ghost Mar 2013 #98

Don't let a small group of online extremists spoil life for you. MrSlayer Mar 2013 #109

What's "classy" about approaching a strange woman and commenting about her geek tragedy Mar 2013 #112

Most people like compliments. MrSlayer Mar 2013 #124

Oy. Do you fellas realize that pick-up lines and geek tragedy Mar 2013 #139

ok. i ran to a door today. the poor man got stuck. held for a couple women. seabeyond Mar 2013 #113

I don't care at all. MrSlayer Mar 2013 #126

meh... if all these many many many threads of men saying exactly the same thing seabeyond Mar 2013 #138

He doesn't feel guilty--he's throwing himself a pity party. nt geek tragedy Mar 2013 #143

Yup, yup.. "Social Justice Warriors".. right here in our cozy corner of the `net. opiate69 Mar 2013 #114

Riiiight. MrSlayer Mar 2013 #130

Whodathunk it was prevalent outside of DU? opiate69 Mar 2013 #134

+1 sweetNsassy Mar 2013 #215

Doors and chairs, yes. Compliments on looks are dangerous territory. Common Sense Party Mar 2013 #111

No! Stop with the chair thing! noamnety Mar 2013 #170

Really? LOL. Well I guess it's just masturbation for you then Matariki Mar 2013 #115

BTW - it's TWO THOUSAND FUCKING THIRTEEN Matariki Mar 2013 #117

Right? redqueen Mar 2013 #119

Cannot believe this fucking thread is at 130... Ridiculous... nomorenomore08 Mar 2013 #132

I think both sides are reading things into the other that aren't there. nomorenomore08 Mar 2013 #152

I still haven't found anyone on DU who knows better than my mother... NaturalHigh Mar 2013 #172

I can't believe these threads are still HappyMe Mar 2013 #178

I would quit the looks compliments treestar Mar 2013 #194

oh for fuck's sake Scout Mar 2013 #207

There is nothing wrong with being a gentleman. goodthanksandyou Mar 2013 #218

My mom does, LWolf Mar 2013 #243