General Discussion

Alcibiades

(5,061 posts)

64. It just sort of happened that way

Wed Feb 1, 2012, 04:30 PM

Feb 2012

Ultimately it all goes back to marrying a girl who was two years ahead of me in college (though I was three years older). By the time I finished my PhD, she had hers for several years, and quite a good career, so you go with whoever has the health insurance.

Enjoyed reading about your boys. The speech therapist suggested something I already suspected, that some of my daughter's problems with frustration tolerance may be down to her inability to express herself clearly.

Boys, girls, birth order--I am convinced today that, even if you treat your children exactly the same, they insist on turning out differently. A lot of it is just the randomization of genetics. You don't know what you will wind up with, but you love them just the same, no matter what.

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Who says raising boys is easier? [View all] seabeyond Feb 2012 OP

I have one of each and we live in a VERY conservative area... renie408 Feb 2012 #1

Yep, we were the liberal atheists in the community Lionessa Feb 2012 #3

As a freshman in college I said I would probably SharonAnn Feb 2012 #48

Wonderful story, congratulations on raising good kids. cpamomfromtexas Feb 2012 #4

i am you. my boys are 14 and working on 17 seabeyond Feb 2012 #8

Kids don't understand religion, but they understand parents freefaller62 Feb 2012 #32

Boys give you grey hairs before puberty. Girls after. /nt TheMadMonk Feb 2012 #2

meh... it really has been pretty easy, before and ofter. one rolls her eyes seabeyond Feb 2012 #9

Uh, no.... Darth_Kitten Feb 2012 #83

unless you are a parent to the boys. then it is not so tough. i guess the same seabeyond Feb 2012 #84

It's all based on averages Alcibiades Feb 2012 #5

i have exactly what you have in ALL things, but they are both boys. seabeyond Feb 2012 #10

It just sort of happened that way Alcibiades Feb 2012 #64

I love the last part of your post... renie408 Feb 2012 #18

Some kids are just more argumentative than others. surrealAmerican Feb 2012 #74

that is what i have found. out of all the little girls that fit the gender role seabeyond Feb 2012 #75

The gender roles that society forces on men are every bit as smothering as those it forces on women. dawg Feb 2012 #6

you are right on and i couldnt agree with you more dawg. seabeyond Feb 2012 #11

I think that gender roles in many aspects are even more rigid for boys KitSileya Feb 2012 #67

really? norway, too. i love the story of the kid. lol. seabeyond Feb 2012 #68

When you have a boy, you worry about one dick. With a girl, you worry about every dick in town! HopeHoops Feb 2012 #7

Bingo! meaculpa2011 Feb 2012 #12

then maybe we ought to raise our girls without the gender influence. i was in an highly competitive seabeyond Feb 2012 #14

My girls don't burst into tears - they strike a fighting stance - so does my wife. HopeHoops Feb 2012 #20

Is yelling and physical intimidation even that good of a method for training animals? redqueen Feb 2012 #21

further, my sons that had coaches that behaved that way had issues with them seabeyond Feb 2012 #23

Men who teach/coach boys have the benefit of having been boys themselves. lumberjack_jeff Feb 2012 #53

i would not agree that the average boys is not as sensitive as girls. i do think we condition them seabeyond Feb 2012 #55

We condition them not to show sensitivity. retread Feb 2012 #71

we so condition. i was thinking of nephews, sons, their friends at 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 seabeyond Feb 2012 #72

So boys benefit from treatment that is shown not to work so well on animals... redqueen Feb 2012 #60

Every successful male athelete was yelled at. lumberjack_jeff Feb 2012 #78

some of the greatest coaches of all times, dont coach like that. and their players love them seabeyond Feb 2012 #79

No doubt... meaculpa2011 Feb 2012 #86

true true true.... i have found this not only i my own experience in highly competitive sports seabeyond Feb 2012 #88

Should've gone with baseball. No crying in baseball. JNelson6563 Feb 2012 #51

my boys and niece were watching that the other day and i walked in at that scene seabeyond Feb 2012 #52

Really fun stuff. Tom Hanks is awesome. JNelson6563 Feb 2012 #59

that is beyond silly. hm. girl get preg once. a boy impreg many. ya, worry MUCH less. seabeyond Feb 2012 #13

My former coworker had a daughter that gave birth a month prematurely Nikia Feb 2012 #15

isnt that a stupid saying. and we have allowed to stand way longer than it should seabeyond Feb 2012 #16

It's an old saying. When my third was born someone said it was God's way of paying me back. HopeHoops Feb 2012 #19

i so know it is an old saying. so many of those old sayings, like boys are easier seabeyond Feb 2012 #24

I was originally afraid, but they turned out to be great kids. No complaints. HopeHoops Feb 2012 #31

a story.... i had two brothers. a year older and two years older seabeyond Feb 2012 #33

And where does all this nonsense stem from? redqueen Feb 2012 #17

"ready to liberate boys from its grasp." it is good to be a man. i have heard this on 3 commercials seabeyond Feb 2012 #26

Yeah, I don't meet those commercials definitions. white_wolf Feb 2012 #28

exactly. i know seabeyond Feb 2012 #34

There is a strong social undercurrent that it's not okay to be a man. lumberjack_jeff Feb 2012 #49

i think domestic violence is very relevant and not indicative of being a man. i think the courthouse seabeyond Feb 2012 #54

I don't know about raising children, since I don't have any. However I will say this: white_wolf Feb 2012 #22

+1000000000000 redqueen Feb 2012 #25

raising 2 boys, couldnt agree more. middle school PTA, a program for girls to deal with all the seabeyond Feb 2012 #27

The only reason there are differences in gender is because society invents these roles. white_wolf Feb 2012 #30

i agree. at about 2, i started buying dinosaurs. my son would start a river going around the seabeyond Feb 2012 #35

I have read studies that disagree completely with what you claim joeglow3 Feb 2012 #41

There are differences, but they aren't all or nothing. redqueen Feb 2012 #57

We discussed this a few years ago joeglow3 Feb 2012 #61

That's funny because Snake Alchemist is busy saying it's a myth that boys mature more slowly. redqueen Feb 2012 #62

please give me a couple examples of those gender roles being reinforced that women went off on. seabeyond Feb 2012 #65

Usually before they can talk. redqueen Feb 2012 #42

what got me, was how many grown men told my 2, 3 yr old sons what men they were. seabeyond Feb 2012 #43

I never thought about that... redqueen Feb 2012 #50

i stopped it immediately. any man say that to my sons and i would look them in the eyes seabeyond Feb 2012 #56

Yep, no difference. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #39

This should be an OP. nt redqueen Feb 2012 #44

and again, son next to two niece. way ahead. condition girls quiet and listen. boys go play seabeyond Feb 2012 #45

Yep, no difference. nt Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #46

Girls can go to their teachers, their custodial parents or to social service agencies lumberjack_jeff Feb 2012 #47

Yes. Boys are told to "suck it up" when ever they have Jennicut Feb 2012 #58

ok... SwampG8r Feb 2012 #29

lol seabeyond Feb 2012 #36

refocusing more than help SwampG8r Feb 2012 #37

hey.... seabeyond Feb 2012 #38

back atcha SwampG8r Feb 2012 #40

unemployment, unwanted pregnancies, and jail. Boys are NOT easier. librechik Feb 2012 #63

i love your cat jammin. nt seabeyond Feb 2012 #66

It ain't - it's just different Taverner Feb 2012 #69

women haters says boys are easier. All things female are bad...apparently Liberal_in_LA Feb 2012 #70

unfortunately, seabeyond Feb 2012 #81

When boys act like boys we drug them. retread Feb 2012 #73

i was brought into kindergarten to observe my son seabeyond Feb 2012 #76

I wonder if any of it might stem from being emotionally stifled. redqueen Feb 2012 #77

Depends on the kid, but the OP's point is taken JCMach1 Feb 2012 #80

Boys easier to raise? I don't think so.... Darth_Kitten Feb 2012 #82

i have been thinking about this, what i see. and i think kids, both genders seabeyond Feb 2012 #85

interesting read, though I don't understand the opening sentence fishwax Feb 2012 #87

i dont think it was the best sentence in the whole article.... seabeyond Feb 2012 #89