General Discussion

IdaBriggs

(10,559 posts)

188. My "true colors" have been on display since 2004.

Wed Apr 10, 2013, 11:34 AM

Apr 2013

Yes, I did pay attention. I also volunteered on a suicide prevention line for several years, and have worked with rape victims, so I am not ignorant of the dynamics, especially with victimized teenagers.

I stand by my statement. NO ONE kills themselves because someone else said something "mean" - there is *always* more to it than that, and feeling helpless/powerless is a part of it.

I have been paying attention. I just don't think your focus on "slut shaming" deals with the "real" issues.

If I was rude, please accept my apologies; yes, I "all capped" some stuff, but not an entire post (which you did). I think it says that this is *IMPORTANT* to both of us.

Its a discussion board - take a breath, and remember that the world is not going to end because someone (in your opinion, me) is "wrong on the internet."

Peace?

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Victim-blaming and woman-shaming claim another victim [View all] redqueen Apr 2013 OP

this is so far beyond sickening. . . niyad Apr 2013 #1

the phrasing "educate ... about what's appropriate behavior" makes me vomit nadine_mn Apr 2013 #124

apparently this guy is in deep s*** for some remarks he made a few months ago in niyad Apr 2013 #127

Yep. Reminds me of the US commercial media's Steubenville coverage alp227 Apr 2013 #150

I'm relieved local news is handling this one a bit better so far, at least Posteritatis Apr 2013 #206

They know. They also know they can get away with it. Education won't do it. TheMadMonk Apr 2013 #156

K&R. nt geek tragedy Apr 2013 #2

lol, so you can't even spell out "slut" quinnox Apr 2013 #3

What is a "slut"? zappaman Apr 2013 #5

good point quinnox Apr 2013 #12

why don't you tell us BainsBane Apr 2013 #40

I'll let this woman tell you... zappaman Apr 2013 #48

does that fit the circumstances of a young woman BainsBane Apr 2013 #56

You asked a question.. zappaman Apr 2013 #77

no, you didn't answer BainsBane Apr 2013 #132

"when shew as working as the comic" JI7 Apr 2013 #76

Do you find this case amusing? MineralMan Apr 2013 #173

Yes, Zappaman..Why don't you tell us? whathehell Apr 2013 #61

Sure.! zappaman Apr 2013 #73

"Sure" my ass. whathehell Apr 2013 #88

What's your definition? zappaman Apr 2013 #89

Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #114

Actually it can be applied to both genders... zappaman Apr 2013 #115

looking at the hidden post and yours, one notices that they seem to be identical. niyad Apr 2013 #119

It isn't applied to both genders BainsBane Apr 2013 #133

Sure it is. zappaman Apr 2013 #134

You do realize this OP is about a dead rape victim? BainsBane Apr 2013 #137

Sure it matters. zappaman Apr 2013 #139

It's not a different matter BainsBane Apr 2013 #140

dictionary BainsBane Apr 2013 #138

So that settles it then. zappaman Apr 2013 #145

I'll explain it to you BainsBane Apr 2013 #147

Not sure... zappaman Apr 2013 #158

Game time is over. BainsBane Apr 2013 #159

Damn. zappaman Apr 2013 #160

Like you had 5 hours ago? BainsBane Apr 2013 #163

yes zappaman Apr 2013 #164

Read my earlier replies to that question. BainsBane Apr 2013 #166

To this in particular BainsBane Apr 2013 #167

Obviously she wasn't. zappaman Apr 2013 #168

This is clearly pointless BainsBane Apr 2013 #170

Sure, your male friend's define themselves as a s**ts sbecause they are proud Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #161

What about the females I know that identify themselves as sluts? zappaman Apr 2013 #162

Read the article linked to in the OP. How is the term used? BainsBane Apr 2013 #165

when was the last time a man was shamed for having several partners? BainsBane Apr 2013 #136

+1 JustAnotherGen Apr 2013 #176

you think this is FUNNY? did it occur to you that some of us will refuse to use a word that is niyad Apr 2013 #6

Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #11

remdi95 niyad Apr 2013 #15

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #118

So, the real outrage to you is uppity feminists geek tragedy Apr 2013 #16

If that's an ally BainsBane Apr 2013 #144

You are censoring others' writing BainsBane Apr 2013 #46

+1 LiberalLoner Apr 2013 #83

This message was self-deleted by its author niyad Apr 2013 #57

it is spelled out in the article, people often don't spell out things like the N word, F word JI7 Apr 2013 #9

Thank you for showing everyone what a pro-equality geek tragedy Apr 2013 #13

sadly, most of us are not the least bit surprised. niyad Apr 2013 #17

I wish feminists would stop picking on natural allies geek tragedy Apr 2013 #19

supremely grateful. saves getting a new scratching post niyad Apr 2013 #25

yeh, if only we were nicer to guys like that Whisp Apr 2013 #102

Submitted without comment geek tragedy Apr 2013 #121

If I had a dime for every time I'd heard that BainsBane Apr 2013 #153

come on, man Cali_Democrat Apr 2013 #14

so, what should my reaction be? quinnox Apr 2013 #22

Perhaps outrage about what happend to this poor girl? Cali_Democrat Apr 2013 #26

I didn't realize we all had to share your reactions... quinnox Apr 2013 #31

Thank you, you can leave now. nt geek tragedy Apr 2013 #34

you are very welcome quinnox Apr 2013 #36

Maybe focus more on the actual crime/tragedy? nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #28

understood quinnox Apr 2013 #35

I'm not in the business of telling people what to think. Because it pisses me off when others nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #44

don't hold your breath on that one niyad Apr 2013 #87

How about discussing the actual subject instead geek tragedy Apr 2013 #33

Just a tad bit of compassion for the victim of a gang rape would be a respectable reaction. Jamastiene Apr 2013 #41

You left out accusations of satanism quinnox Apr 2013 #49

I don't even consider Satanism all that big of a deal. Jamastiene Apr 2013 #63

+infinity geek tragedy Apr 2013 #64

zing BainsBane Apr 2013 #81

Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #82

Thank you! smirkymonkey Apr 2013 #90

You are most welcome. whathehell Apr 2013 #110

Out of this whole thread, that's the *one thing* you focus on? nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #24

Maybe when you reach puberty you might understand. (nt) jeff47 Apr 2013 #29

Now you have to edit other people's writing BainsBane Apr 2013 #37

he's looking to start a flamewar so his posse geek tragedy Apr 2013 #42

and apparently they did niyad Apr 2013 #117

considering who you are replying to, opiate69 Apr 2013 #142

... theKed Apr 2013 #149

Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #43

Your concern for a young sexually assault victim now deceased BainsBane Apr 2013 #51

He said above he thinks this discussion is funny. nt geek tragedy Apr 2013 #53

Yes, I know BainsBane Apr 2013 #59

Jury results (a microcosm of why DU sucks on gender issues) geek tragedy Apr 2013 #45

Fucking hell. This site, sometimes. (nt) Posteritatis Apr 2013 #58

Another post of his did get hidden, so we geek tragedy Apr 2013 #62

It's divisive in the same way Obama is divisive BainsBane Apr 2013 #68

It's divisive in the way that seeking marriage geek tragedy Apr 2013 #70

Exactly! BainsBane Apr 2013 #71

Geek, excuse me, but whathehell Apr 2013 #93

If an earlier post gets nuked it can look like the person's still posting. Posteritatis Apr 2013 #106

Okay, thanks. n/t whathehell Apr 2013 #109

"voted 2-4 to LEAVE IT ALONE." (nt) jeff47 Apr 2013 #113

Wrong post.. Try this one: whathehell Apr 2013 #116

are you juror #6? hfojvt Apr 2013 #131

I'm sure she is physically capbable of typing it out but she prefers not to. Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #55

Kick. Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #146

lol, do you find it just as funny when people choose whathehell Apr 2013 #67

your reaction to this thread is to LOL? Is there ice in your blood? bettyellen Apr 2013 #69

In India, gang rape results in mass protests in the street BainsBane Apr 2013 #74

this gang rape was a "first world problem" and we're just SJWs typing about it all...... bettyellen Apr 2013 #78

SJWs? BainsBane Apr 2013 #79

"Social justice warrior." (nt) Posteritatis Apr 2013 #112

that's a term to be proud of BainsBane Apr 2013 #128

It's like PC, only mindless adolescents think its a bad thing. LOL bettyellen Apr 2013 #148

Unbelievable gaspee Apr 2013 #84

As someone who's gotten annoyed at the "word police" mindwalker_i Apr 2013 #155

child pornography is not a community issue niyad Apr 2013 #4

Because as people keep telling us, revealing pictures of girls and women are going to be shared redqueen Apr 2013 #7

as I said, beyond sickening niyad Apr 2013 #8

Cops not taking rape and domestic violence seriously? geek tragedy Apr 2013 #21

Reminds me of that Canadian girl who hanged herself LittleBlue Apr 2013 #10

Online isn't 'at school'... the problem is cultural. redqueen Apr 2013 #23

I still think the school shouldn't get off the hook LittleBlue Apr 2013 #38

It's a few years back, but I attended one of those schools Posteritatis Apr 2013 #50

That's crazy LittleBlue Apr 2013 #105

I agree with you that schools should do more. redqueen Apr 2013 #66

should be mandatory for schools to report to the local police. colleges sure don't. bettyellen Apr 2013 #75

The girl in Canada was beaten up and nothing was done LittleBlue Apr 2013 #80

Yes, Amanda Todd. redqueen Apr 2013 #92

And every. Single. Fucking. Time. People pile on to blame the victim. It's infuriating. (nt) Posteritatis Apr 2013 #27

They want to believe it can't happen to them. Or to the women in their lives, if they're male. nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #30

Yep. Or that they deserve anything they get if it happens. (nt) Posteritatis Apr 2013 #39

there is a big "she asked for it" in all of this JI7 Apr 2013 #47

I find it telling that a lot of local news sites disabled comments on articles about this. (nt) Posteritatis Apr 2013 #52

that is interesting, i hope some outside reporters go in there and check it out JI7 Apr 2013 #65

Oh, local media will go on the warpath about this Posteritatis Apr 2013 #72

Thank you, Posteritatis. redqueen Apr 2013 #86

140-year-old still-independent papers Get Things Done. Posteritatis Apr 2013 #97

"...and anything touching on bullying or most forms of rape draw them like flies..." nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #95

A mix of that and purely conventional victim-blaming, pretty much. Posteritatis Apr 2013 #99

My response: "Yeah, all that bullying turned you into a fine human being. I can really tell." nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #111

I think of it almost like separating the "wheat" from the "chaff." The "worthy" from the "unworthy." nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #60

it happened before also but the internet, texting etc does make it worse JI7 Apr 2013 #32

"it quickly went viral" Union Scribe Apr 2013 #18

And then think of all the kids prosecuted for consensual (albeit underage) "sexting." nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #54

Her high school - the second one she went to try to get away from this - is right next to my house. Posteritatis Apr 2013 #20

Posteritatis, since you're from the area, I as a lifelong American have some Q's. alp227 Apr 2013 #151

I'll take a crack at those Posteritatis Apr 2013 #204

This is repeated victimization Prism Apr 2013 #85

and absolutely nothing will happen--read what the nova scotia justice minister said (reply #1) niyad Apr 2013 #94

He's (1) toast and (2) trying to change his tune slightly Posteritatis Apr 2013 #103

Thank you for this post. nt redqueen Apr 2013 #100

So heartbreaking. n/t TDale313 Apr 2013 #91

All those euphemisms only mean one thing. 'Boys will be boys. Think of their careers!' freshwest Apr 2013 #96

"Just a girl" redqueen Apr 2013 #104

... TDale313 Apr 2013 #107

tears baby. i am just in tears. i wish... so wish, there were people to stand up for you, loudly. seabeyond Apr 2013 #123

A girl's life cut short BainsBane Apr 2013 #141

This is absolutely disgusting and incredibly heartbreaking. smirkymonkey Apr 2013 #98

Thank you for posting this. nt SunSeeker Apr 2013 #101

Thanks for the alert IrishAyes Apr 2013 #108

Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #120

Terrible story. Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #122

k/r witj sadness. 840high Apr 2013 #125

I am so ashamed because riverbendviewgal Apr 2013 #126

So very sad... chervilant Apr 2013 #129

This is unbelievably sad... one_voice Apr 2013 #130

This is so heartbreaking. DURHAM D Apr 2013 #135

It's a terrible tragedy. Bonobo Apr 2013 #143

Canada's Steubenville. Were her rapists football/hockey stars or something? alp227 Apr 2013 #152

Schools are infamous for not doing anything concerning bullying davidn3600 Apr 2013 #169

I'd say it's a "public schools in general" problem Posteritatis Apr 2013 #208

The problem was she didn't report it to the authorities when it happened. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #220

I am convinced Rex Apr 2013 #154

Evil and cruelty BainsBane Apr 2013 #171

+1000 smirkymonkey Apr 2013 #221

This is horrible and sad. In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #157

Absolutely disgusting that this was handled so poorly. MineralMan Apr 2013 #172

Other girls Brooklyns_Finest Apr 2013 #174

Why do you think her rapists took a picture and shared it? Because they thought she'd be pleased? redqueen Apr 2013 #178

What the flaming holy fuck do you think rape is in the first place? (nt) Posteritatis Apr 2013 #200

The RAPE VICTIM was *NOT* a SLUT - so "slut shaming" is NOT the point. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #175

Bullies used "s*** shaming" to viciously attack her. It IS a HUGE point. redqueen Apr 2013 #177

The POINT is that she was RAPED. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #180

S*** SHAMING AND VICTIM BLAMING IS WHY SHE DIDN'T COME FORWARD SOONER redqueen Apr 2013 #182

Your reasoning make no sense. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #183

I'm sorry you don't see it. Very sorry. redqueen Apr 2013 #184

The humiliated (in my opinion) comes from everyone knowing IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #186

"We don't know how to deal with sex crimes in our culture." chervilant Apr 2013 #213

+10000 one_voice Apr 2013 #190

And FURTHERMORE redqueen Apr 2013 #181

Your inability to comprehend the English language is bordering on frothing hysteria. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #185

"NO ONE kills themselves because someone else said something "mean"" redqueen Apr 2013 #187

My "true colors" have been on display since 2004. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #188

Did I act like the world is going to end? I would like more solidarity among women. redqueen Apr 2013 #189

I came in disagreeing with you. I have re-read my post. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #191

And I apologize for going after you as I did. redqueen Apr 2013 #193

This stuff matters to us, so we both got passionate about it. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #194

The article plainly says that people were calling her that gollygee Apr 2013 #201

i tried to find the article of a 12 yr old that committed suicide for being called a slut, and she seabeyond Apr 2013 #207

"Smart people"? chervilant Apr 2013 #214

Redqueen and I arrived at a point where we IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #215

You are not in that young girl's mind. chervilant Apr 2013 #216

Blah blah blah - talk about arrogant and condescending! IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #217

"...a little on the tart side..." chervilant Apr 2013 #218

Yeah! We have achieved mutual understanding! IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #219

I kinda wondered why the OP wanted people to know Rex Apr 2013 #209

Because those are the terms people are using to describe what happened to this girl. redqueen Apr 2013 #210

I am glad I don't have kids get the red out Apr 2013 #179

So with you. nt IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #192

The all pervasive objectification and sexualization of girls/women is primary to creating Zorra Apr 2013 #195

Thank you for this post, Zorra. So much. redqueen Apr 2013 #196

You're welcome, redqueen. Zorra Apr 2013 #197

Nova Scotia justice minister revisits review of Rehtaeh Parsons case Dr. Strange Apr 2013 #198

if they'd done so earlier BainsBane Apr 2013 #199

Thank you. n/t Judi Lynn Apr 2013 #202

Love the sweet sweet sound of that hundred-metre freestyle backpedal. Posteritatis Apr 2013 #205

I can't help wondering if the growing exposure, and redqueen Apr 2013 #211

The minister made a similar stupid mistake a few months ago Posteritatis Apr 2013 #212

Thank you, redqueen. Didn't hear about this until now. So damned wrong. n/t Judi Lynn Apr 2013 #203

Ugh! This makes me physically ill. I am sick to my stomach after reading this. smirkymonkey Apr 2013 #222