Victim-blaming and woman-shaming claim another victim

[IdaBriggs]

215. Redqueen and I arrived at a point where we

Understand and DISAGREE with each other, in what I hope is a respectful way when two people passionately believe in advocating for people dealing with these horrible circumstances.

I believe comments like yours which confuse the rights of crime victims with "patriarchy/misogyny and sexism issues" are frankly insulting to both the victim and those of us who advocate(d) for them.

She did not kill herself because of "slut shaming" - she killed herself (in my opinion) because she was in pain, felt helpless to protect herself, was told by "the system" that since she had not done what she should have done (reported instantly, not destroyed evidence, etc.) she had created a "he said/she said" situation, and she saw no way to end the pain in that moment except the way she did. ("Depression=Anger Turned Inwards&quot . Since I believe that she was raped, I am naturally enraged on her behalf; however, I find posts like yours (which seem to be twisting her tragic story to benefit your personal agenda) distasteful.

Bluntly, the word "slut" exists, has for centuries, and most literate people understand what it means. The girl in question was NOT a slut, and her sexual assault was a non-consensual act. She did not kill herself because she cared what "some people" were saying/lying about her - she killed herself because she was in pain with no end in sight, and most likely felt helpless to take action to advocate/protect herself in the future.

Our laws and law enforcement / judicial system do not know how to handle sexual issues; this girl is/was a perfect example of the ambivalence the victims themselves feel about the situation. Had she been robbed in a bank by armed strangers, she would have known that the police were available, etc. Instead, she knew who hurt her, and at a certain level, just wanted the whole thing to go away/pretend it never happened. This is also a common reaction to domestic assault. For many rape victims this "works" on a temporary basis, and sometimes it blows up badly.

It isn't about "patriarchy" because we see the same pattern with boys who are sexually assaulted: it is about safety/survival and not being expelled from your social community, or disrupting the status quo. Abandoned children have no one to take care of them, and they die - abused children rarely want to leave abusive homes or outcry because "better the devil you know" comes into play.

There is more, but I am busy. I know way more about these topics than I want to, and I will end by saying the over simplification you propose is infuriating.