Southern DU'ers: Tell me about the South

[dixiegrrrrl]

25. I have lived and worked in Southern cities and small towns for over 30 years.

and visited a lot more.
What rrneck says is true.
People who just visit the South usually go to the cities, where one can get a superficial picture of what the South is like.
Me, I am from a long line of Irish American folks, and feel comfortable with the clannish behavior, which, in the small towns,extends automatically to your neighbor.
I deliberately chose to retire in a small ( pop. 6,000) town here, because I knew people will come to my aid if needed.

I find the communication much like Japanese culture. Polite, seemingly friendly on the surface, but takes awhile to get to know people underneath.
We don't talk about politics unless we know each other well enough.
Took me 2 years to get to know my roofer, who struck me as gruff and withdrawn.
Not so, come to find out..little by little he opened up, loves to tease, really loves to try to get my dander up about Obama, in a sparring way. Now I can call him about anything, knowing he will know who has what I need.

bad mouthing people is not done, and folks will avoid suggesting a roofer or plumber rather than tell you anything negative. OTOH, if they say so and so is "real good", it is worth checking out.

One thing that stands out is people hate to tell you no.
Drove Mr. Dixie, who is from Cal. stark raving mad at first.
He would get all sorts of answers in his quest for an item at the hardware store, but never get a direct no,
would come home empty handed, madder than hell.
And he could not figure out why someone who had agreed effusively to show up to do a job did not show up,
instead of saying to his face they did not want to do the job for what ever reason.
People here LIKE to help out, and will jump at the chance to do something for you if they can.
But there is an unwritten score card of who owes who a favor, and the fun game is to get someone owing you more than you owe them. I am pretty good at that, since we give away our organic free range eggs and are always home, so pick up the mail and paper for traveling neighbors.
A lot of good food gets sent to us in return.

Oh..the accents.
I cringe when I hear movie people try to fake accents. There is NO one "southern accent"
There are many southern accents, deoending on age, origin and race of the person speaking.
Some accents are dying out.

Another thing..." you aren't from around here, are you?" means: I don't know you, I can't "place " you, so I won't trust you with anything but polite greetings. you are an outsider until I decide otherwise.
If they want to get to know you, they start asking questions I regarded as intrusive and highly personal, back when I did not know better.
Later I learned to mention working nearby, or knowing someone they were sure to have heard of,
or mentioning indirectly how long I have lived in the South.
" I used to have a house across town on such and such a street, next to Mrs. so and so"
will be greeted with " Oh, I know her, she goes to my church", and the conversation becomes warmer.
I usually say "I wasn't born here but I got here as fast as I could and I will only leave feet first", and watch people smile and relax. They...we..are very proud of our area and like it when people tell us they like it.

People of all ages will strike up a conversation at the store, or on the sidewalk, post office, etc.
Perfect strangers just stop and talk to you.It is a pastime.
It takes me 30 minutes to do my grocery shopping but an hour to get home from the store.
I love it.

Yes, there are racists and bigots and tea party morons....some of them live up the street.
yes, there is a dearth of intellectual conversations, but "while in Rome, do as the Romans do" works well for me,
and I am pretty good at the all important small talk.
( You ALWAYS ask about the family when you meet)
The positives of low housing costs, lack of real winter, a strong sense of community, plentiful sunshine, low crime rate, friendly and supportive neighbors, makes up for a lot, living here.

Oh...look what I did.
I chatted on and on...just like a southerner.