We all know men who think they deserve to own women: This is a horrifying exaggeration of that.

[davidthegnome]

197. Yes...

I do know some men like that, I suspect that they are more common within a rural, conservative community. This news that has come out recently makes me sick, makes me feel as if I should apologize for sharing a gender with these men who kidnap women, or assault women... I think of groups like the FLDS, or extreme varieties of Mormonism or right-wing Christianity. It is truly despicable. To acknowledge that it is men who are doing these things is not really sexist or male bashing... and I appreciate that you point out that this is a horrifying exaggeration, not something for which all men are guilty.

I have never felt, even in the earliest days of my Catholic upbringing, that I deserved to own a woman, or that I was somehow better than them by virtue of biology, of being born with a penis. I have three sisters, on occasion they have dated men who were truly despicable, that, unfortunately, it was illegal for me to beat with a baseball bat...

Perhaps because there have been so many strong, decent women in my life, I am not as the ultra conservatives who believe a woman's place is in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant... make me a sandwich, etc.

What I, as a straight male would like, what I have long dreamed of, is having a life partner. Someone to share with me both the beauty and the agony of this world, and this life. Someone to rely on, someone with whom, a mutual respect, faith and affection might be possible. In none of my relationships have I ever sought to be dominant, because it is not my way. I'm not the controlling type, in large part because I resent it when people try to control me, any amount of bullying gets my back up real quick.

My gender definitely has issues, and there is nothing wrong with pointing this out, so long as we acknowledge that not all of us are like the ones you're referring to. Men are, generally speaking, more inclined towards violence, more likely to seek to oppress or to dominate. The problem is that we live in a culture that teaches men that this is okay, that to be a man, you must be strong, a good fighter, unemotional, insensitive, you must always be prepared to take what you want by force if necessary. Otherwise you might be referred to as a weakling, or, more commonly, as a pussy or a fag.

Another big part of the problem? There are women who look at the most violent, most angry, most dangerous of men and feel that they are somehow more manly, more sexy than those who are otherwise. This is part of what drives this culture of violence, oppression, and cruelty. I am not laying the blame here on all women, but I think it needs to be acknowledged that women (especially young, pretty women) are more likely to seek out the bad boys, the creeps, the jerks... than they are to look for a man who is intelligent, kind, generous, sensitive.

It is not specifically a male or female problem, it is something that, as human beings sharing this earth, we share.